Page 10 of Hate Sex
Chapter 6
Kota
“Gotta use the bathroom!” I yell to Spencer as I dart to there trying to hide my damn burning eyes. Son-of-a-bitch. I shut the door and lock it, sagging against the hardwood. I cannot believe he showed up here. What the hell was he thinking? He’s never been here before. I’ve kept it that way on purpose. The easier for me to escape. Then to have him just show up ready to party. What the hell?
Not even to mention he looked hot as hell in his leather jacket. I could see the ripples of his muscles through the lining, and I itched so badly to rip it off him and trace the tattoos up his arm. His hair was pulled back in that sexy I-don’t-give-a-flying-fuck way that made me tremble. Damn him. Not that I’m not used to him being pissed at me, but holy shitballs. He is unbelievably sexy hot when he’s angry. The vein in his neck pulsates and the tick in his jaw, fuck. My body responded, and I did everything in my power to hold my shit together. Like I could just jump him in the doorway. Which before my little revelation, I would have done in a heartbeat.
These past few days since making my renewed promise to myself to stay away from him, I’ve done the best I could have given the circumstances. I made sure someone was with me at all times when he was around and scheduled as much as I could away from the gym for him. It didn’t denounce my craving for him, though. Each night, when I laid in bed with my vibrator, that I pledged my loyalty to from now on, I imagined his touches and words. I’d come in a flash each time, but it was so damn empty. Nothing like when he fills me deep.
I move to the mirror and stare at my reflection. Eyes red from tears. I swipe them away. Sadness is all over me like a black cloak, and I fucking hate it. Hate it! How the hell do you mourn something that you never really had in the first place? I never claimed that Teo was mine. Never. But unfortunately, I was his. Fuck.
I grab my face wash and scrub my tear-stained face, making sure all the mascara is gone. I dry and apply moisturizer, not bothering with makeup because Spencer couldn’t give a shit about that. I pull myself together, closing my eyes no doubt about ready to face the firing squad that is Spencer. Shit. I don’t want to do this.
I take my time going to the bathroom and rewashing my hands. I stare at my face noting some of the redness has faded, but nowhere near enough for Spencer not to know that I was crying. Dammit.
I step into the living room, and Spencer is laid out on my couch. He’s a beautiful creature. Blond hair, tan, built like sin on a stick, and his chocolate brown eyes are to melt for. “So you and boss man, huh?” He smirks at his comment, and part of me freezes. I haven’t been called out on mine and Teo’s relationship before. Ever. No one knows. Only him and I. I’ve never told a soul in two years. Hard to believe but so very true.
“I…” I trail not knowing what to say. We were and now we’re not. “Just drop it.” I hope to get him on to something else. “So, what movie do you want to watch?”
Spencer sits up, putting the popcorn bowl on the coffee table and pats the couch next to him. Rolling my eyes, I make my way over to him, sitting. He leans back, opening his wide arms over the back of the couch. “You’re not getting out of this shit.” Damn. “He the reason you aren’t hooking up with guys?” Spencer has been one of my closest friends for months. We hit it off at the gym and it just grew. We have a lot of the same interests, and he’s easy to talk to, except for this. Never this.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I try.
“Too damn bad. I’m going to be on your ass like a thong until you talk.” Spencer and his analogies. I swear that man needs to come up with some better lines. But one thing I know about Spencer is, he is relentless. Shit.
I lean back into his arm, and he pulls me close, my head resting on his shoulder. “We had a thing, but it’s over.”
He laughs. “Not from what I heard. You didn’t even tell him?”
I close my eyes. I’m the biggest damn pussy in the world. I couldn’t tell him it was over. I tried. Many times. But each time I did, I got freaked right the hell out. Teo has every right to be pissed at me for that stunt. That wasn’t cool and the twist in my gut tells me I’ll be apologizing to him for it at some point. I hate wronging people. Just saying the words to him, I couldn’t. Even when I told him we were over at the door, I wanted to double over in pain.
“I’m a bitch,” I whisper.
“No, you’re not. Why didn’t you tell him that you and I weren’t sleeping together?” I can hear the smile in his voice; he probably already knows what I’m going to say.
“Because. One, it’s none of his business. Two, I refuse to out you just to make Teo feel better.” His arm tightens around me, and he kisses the top of my head.
“My family knows, and I’m not ashamed of being gay, Kota. It’s just never come out at the gym, and I’m not sure how everyone will be with it.” This breaks my heart. Spencer is the nicest guy I know and that he feels closed in sucks. I wish I could help, but that is his information to tell, not mine.
“Why can’t you just be straight? Then you and I could hook up. Poof.” I open my hands to the word. “Everything would be right in the world.”
“Baby girl, even if I went your way, I don’t do it for you,” he says, and I pull up, looking at the muscular hunk of a man pretty much taking up my entire couch.
“You’re hot,” I say, wiggling my eyes for emphasis.
“You don’t think I get told that all the time?” I again roll my eyes. “Seriously, even when you didn’t know about my sexual orientation you weren’t into me, and you damn well know it.” He’s right, damn him. We never had that spark. That… whatever the hell it is that I have with Teo. Fuck a duck.
“You suck,” I groan, lying back down on him. He rubs my back reassuringly.
“Now spill.”
“I need tequila for this.” He laughs but lets me go so I can go get my trusty bottle. I open and pour myself a healthy glass and bring the bottle with me. It’s going to be one of those nights.
“Go,” he commands. Damn.
So I start at the beginning. I tell him everything about our fighting, his torments, my retaliations, his father’s death, under the tree, everything. And it took quite a while because I’ve downed about a fourth of the bottle. Momma loves tequila.
“You left out the major part,” Spencer says from down at my feet. Somewhere in the story I laid down on the couch, and he pulled my feet into his lap and began to rub. Whatever man lands him is lucky as hell.
