Page 76 of A Virgin for the Vicious Highlander
But then he had thought the same about himself.
“M’Laird!” Tara jumped up, swiping her sleeve across her eyes as she dipped into a shaky curtsy.
The puppy halted what he was doing, letting out a whimper that seemed a little too accusatory, as if he was saying,Why did ye chase her away?
“Please, sit,” Murdoch insisted.
Tara did so, while Dipper approached him cautiously.
“He misses her,” Tara said a moment later as the puppy sniffed Murdoch’s legs. “He hasnae been the same since she left, though I expect the same is true for all of us. I miss her too, and I hate to think that…” she trailed off, shaking her head as her breath hitched. “I hate to think that me faither was the cause of her departure. I hate that he did this. I hate that he’s gone, and I hate, most of all, that I cannae argue against what happened.”
Cecilia didnae leave because of what yer faither did,Murdoch wanted to say, but he held his tongue.She left because of me and what I did… or didnae do.
He reached down and scooped the puppy up into his arms, scratching between his pointy white ears. At first, Dipper tried to wriggle free, but it was not long before he settled in Murdoch’s lap, whimpering every now and then to let him know he was not entirely forgiven.
“Ye can hate me too,” Murdoch muttered. “I wouldnae blame ye if ye did. He was yer faither, after all.”
And I ken, all too well, the difficult relationship a child can have with their faither.
Tara stared at him aghast. “I dinnae hate ye, M’Laird. I suppose I’ve just… been waitin’ for me punishment. I ken ye cannae have a traitor’s daughter stayin’ in the castle.” She drew in a nervous breath. “Have ye come to give me that punishment?”
“There’s nay punishment,” Murdoch told her. “It wasnae anythin’ to do with ye. I’ve made inquiries. I ken ye’re innocent. In truth, I’ve long assumed ye would rather chew off yer own thumbs than be in any room with me.”
To his surprise, she laughed.
His heart ached, wishing it was Cecilia at his side, laughing at something he had said.
“Was I so obvious?” Tara stared down into her lap. “I’ve been terrified of ye for as long as I’ve kenned ye, and every time ye refused me faither’s suggestion that ye marry me, I felt a relief like nay other. Nay offense, of course, M’Laird.”
“None taken.”
She hesitated. “Does this mean I can stay here?”
“Ye’re the council’s scribe. Where else would ye go?”
She sighed as if she was trying to expel all of her burdens at once.
“Is that nae what ye wanted to hear?” he asked, confused.
She blinked in slight alarm. “Nay, M’Laird, itiswhat I wanted to hear, but… I’ve just been so worried over the past week. Worried that I’d be hoofed out or worse. Worried that I wouldnae be allowed to marry the man I love.”
“Pardon?” Murdoch quirked an eyebrow, for he had never known that Tara harbored any affection for anyone. George had certainly never mentioned it.
She glanced at him shyly. “Lennox, M’Laird. We’ve been… secretly courtin’ for some time, but… we couldnae decide when to announce it. Me faither would have forbidden it, I expect, but we’d have eloped or… maybe Lennox would have come to ye to ask for yer permission, so me faither wouldnae have been able to argue.” Her expression darkened. “I suppose that doesnae matter now, seein’ as he’s… nae here anymore.”
Murdoch did his best to hide his shock. Of course, he had been aware that plenty of women found Lennox charming—the man was always surrounded whenever they attended gatherings outside the castle—but he had never suspected his man-at-arms was inlovewith anyone.
I suppose I wouldnae ken what to look for even if it was starin’ me in the face.
In matters of threat and justice and conflict, he was as perceptive as any general, but in matters of the heart, he was no better than a novice. How could he learn to understand something he had never been taught, had never experienced for himself?
“I admit, that’s a surprise,” he said, frowning. “But… how did ye ken that ye loved Lennox? How did ye ken that he loved ye in return?”
Tara eyed him with something akin to discomfort, as if she thought the question might be some trick. “It’s simple, really. I just… kenned it.” She chewed on her lower lip in thought. “I kenned that I didnae want to be parted from him. I looked forward to seein’ him even if it was just a glimpse. I feel… at ease when I’m with him—like I dinnae have to pretend to be someone I’m nae. We make each other better, I think, and there’s nothin’ like bein’ around him.”
“As for kennin’ that he loved me in return, it’s harder and easier to explain,” she continued, a faraway smile on her face. “He told me, for one, but… it’s in everythin’ he does—the small gestures, the way he makes me laugh and smile, the way he goes out of his way to make me happy, the way he just…iswhen he’s near me. It’s like he sees only me, and when he looks at me, me heart sort of… leaps.”
Murdoch gazed down at the puppy in his lap and understood at that moment why his heart had been aching lately. He hadthought it might be a pulled muscle or a lack of sleep—for he had been restless every night—but now he knew what it was.
