Page 95 of Only for Him
My voice sounds steadier than I feel. Inside, I’m chasing shadows. I don’t even know if my way exists anymore.
His eyes narrow just slightly, mouth tilting at one corner. “Then tell me, little viper, what are you planning?”
“I’m planning to do things the right way. I’ve got my team at the precinct?—”
He cuts me off with a snort, sharp and joyless.
“And what’s that accomplished? MacDougal raped girls foryearsunder your badge’s protection. How many more monsters like him are you willing to overlook while you cling to your handbook?”
I want to scream at him, tell him to go fuck himself. I want to say I can do it better, smarter, cleaner.
But the truth is, I don’t know if I can.
Everything he’s saying is true. I don’t trust every cop I share a precinct with. Something’s been wrong for a long time, and I haven’t known where to look. Or maybe I’ve just been too afraid to even try.
But the way he does things?
No. Absolutely not.
Someday, he might get the wrong guy. Torture someone innocent. Go too far.
My way might be slower, but it’s safer. For everyone, including Dakota.
I lean in closer, almost daring him to flinch. “There are good people left. Not everyone’s like you. Some of us?—”
“Some of you what?”
“Some of us still believe in justice.” My voice cracks on the word. It sounds thinner now, too fragile to stand on its own.
He studies me, slow and careful. “Justice is what I’m giving you, little viper. You just don’t like the flavor.”
He reaches out and takes my wrist. Not hard, but with precision. Like he’s showing me something, not restraining me. His fingers press into the spot where my pulse hammers.
A flash memory of cum and blood staining my hand and mouth makes my blood run even harder.
I won the last battle, or at least tied. I need to tap into that again. I need to figure out how to stop this before it becomes my eternity.
I feel the throb of my heartbeat beneath his skin. I hate that it speeds up. Hate how my breath shortens, chest rising higher with every second I stay this close.
“You want to be the thing that scares the monsters,” he murmurs. “But you won’t let yourself go there.”
The words crawl down my spine.
He’s right. That’s the worst part.
I swallow, throat dry. “There are still people worth trusting,” I say again, quieter now. Pleading with myself more than him.
“I’m the only one you can trust,” Roman says, frustrated. “The sooner you understand that, the faster we can move.”
“Teddy…”
“Donotspeak that name to me.” His voice sharpens, teeth bared. “Do you really want to rely on a fucking fed?”
I meet his stare, searching for anything soft. There’s nothing but cold fire. Jealousy, maybe. Or possession. Or rage.
Whatever it is, it looks like a mirror, except bluer.
I realize: is how I feel about Rosa, how he feels about Teddy?
