Page 194 of Only for Him
“Hell of a case, huh?” he says, tone breezy. It doesn’t land.
The weight of what we’ve done settles over the table like a secondhand coat—familiar enough to wear, heavy enough to regret.
“One less monster in the world,” I say.
“How does it feel?” Teddy’s words hang.
I’m not even sure what he’s asking about specifically. Killing Pavel? Avenging Serena? Returning to the force thanks to the convenient narrative we sold, pinning Russo’s death on Pavel and, in the process, exposing Russo’s long-standing ties to the Starkov Bratva?
“Weird,” I finally say with a shrug. “Good, I guess.”
“Shit, Giselle.” He shakes his head, crooked grin bringing out his dimples. “After all that? I’d hope it feels better than good. This has been how many years in the making, exactly?”
I return his grin despite myself. I know Teddy thinks I’m too doom and gloom, too angry.
That’s why I need Roman.
He understands me. Hell, he loves my rage.
“Fine. It’s a relief,” I say. “And I’m probably a little bit in shock. I never thought I’d finally get justice for her. But it didn’t bring her back. It’s not like I thought it would, but I guess I hoped it might make something feel whole again. I don’t know.”
I realize I’ve been turning Serena’s earring as I spoke, but I don’t drop my hand.
I don’t want to hide anything anymore.
“I do,” Teddy says quietly, eyes softening. “And I didn’t get to say this before, but I’m sorry. About Russo.”
“Yeah,” I chew my straw. “Another thing to grieve. Not him, just the man I thought he was. His wife reached out, invited me overfor dinner. Maybe it’ll help, talking to someone who understands what it’s like. Loving a man who did unlovable things.”
“Good,” Teddy says. “It’s good to have people who understand you.”
A strange yearning flickers across his face. The conversation pauses as the bartender reups our drinks.
“So. You’re going to lead a specialized task force,” I say, more as a question than a statement.
“Yeah.” He exhales like it’s still sinking in. “Pavel’s death was just the beginning. We arrested a lot of fuckers already, but someone’s already making moves on his properties—someone powerful. Maybe dangerous. We have to move fast. People in power don’t go quietly,”
“Is that why you’re stepping up?” I ask.
“Someone needs to steer this ship,” he says, dripping with that trademark Teddy sincerity. “Arata’s coming onboard. And, well, you know about Roman.”
“He told me he’ll be your inside man. Covert ops,” I murmur, the gravity of it sinking in. “Lots of lines being blurred here.”
“You’d know,” Teddy says. “You’ve become the queen of blurred lines.”
“Excuse me, but I’ve always been the queen of blurred lines,” I shoot back, and we laugh. It feels good to do that. Laughter is an underrated part of being alive.
And, for the first time in years, laughing doesn’t feel like betraying Serena.
I’ll miss her for the rest of my life, but without her unsolved case taking up real estate in my head, I’m discovering parts of myself that I thought died with her.
For some reason, that makes me think of Dakota. Maybe because I don’t know if I ever heard her really laugh.
“How’s Dakota?” I ask. “Is she okay?”
That look crosses his face again. Complicated and a little raw.
“She’s safe. I’m looking after her.” He shifts uncomfortably, almost defensively.
