Page 156 of Only for Him
Then why bring him here?
Why not just do it silently, on his own?
He’s inmyapartment,myhome. He brought Russo here, bleeding my worlds together. In the mansion, I could pretend that nothing I did was part of my real life.
I can’t feed that fantasy here, in the place where I do all my stupid human bullshit: online shopping, making toast, masturbating and brushing my teeth.
I turn back to Russo, both of us crying now.
“Russo,” I say. “I’m going to get you out of here. I promise.”
But when I take a step forward, Roman holds up a hand to stop me.
“He’s been in Pavel’s pocket for years,” he says. “I can show you, if you need to see it. But I think your boss has enough of a heart left to tell you himself.”
Russo simply hangs his head, chin pressed to his chest, snot dripping from his nose.
What kind of proof is he talking about? Photos, wiretaps, confessions?
Fuck! I can’t handle this! I can’t, and I don’t fuckingwantto. I want to go back—Christ, I just want to go back before all this, when I was empty but safe, when I was frustrated butknewwho to trust.
I want to go back. I want to go home.
You are home, Giselle. If this isn’t home, nowhere is.
Maybe it’s faked. Maybe someone gave him fake evidence.
Maybe there’s still a way out of this where I’m not utterly broken.
Roman kneels in front of Russo, rips the gag out and grabs a handful of hair and yanks until their eyes meet. I flinch, wanting to step between them and, somehow, protect them both.
Russo doesn’t scream. He could. I have neighbors, after all.
Why isn’t he screaming?
Why doesn’t he want to be saved?
“Isn’t that right,Captain? You do care about Giselle. I know you do. I’ve seen it.”
“Of course,” Russo blubbers. “Of course I do! G, I care about you! I love you, like, like a daughter!”
“But you didn’t treat Serena like a daughter, did you?” Roman’s voice is a blade. “Because no real father would do what you did to her.”
Russo winces, and I see it happen: the moment he thinks aboutsomething. Something that’s been eating him alive.
My breath stops flowing.
Oh, my God.
Roman’s not lying. The evidence isn’t fake.
He did it. He fucking did something to her.
I’m not strong enough to think of what thatsomethingwas, even though I know it deep in my fucking bones.
I must make a noise, because both men look at me.
And just like that, every good memory curdles.
