Page 51 of Drum Me Away
That task complete, I stood at the entrance to the viewing room, greeting guests like a dutiful granddaughter. More than half of them mistook me for Maria, and I didn’t correct them. Hell, some of them might not have known I existed.
Regina and her mother arrived, wearing pearls, dark dresses, and simpering looks, like everyone else in this joint, and God, I wished Lucas were by my side. I always felt so much stronger when I was with him.
“Faith,” Regina said with a slight nod. “You look nice.”
I glanced down, even though I knew damn well what I’d dressed myself in today. I’d gone against Roxanne’s advice and gone ultra conservative rather than including a small pop of color to express myself, and I hated that I’d done it. Hell, Regina was wearing leopard print heels with her dress, and no one was giving her a hard time. Not even my mother when she stepped up to greet them and thank them for coming.
The two older women wandered off together, and Regina hovered by my side, politely nodding while I greeted the next cluster of guests. After they moved on, there was a lull, which grew increasingly more awkward as we both stood there, not speaking.
Finally, Regina said, “You were right, you know.”
“Huh?” I furrowed my brows, studying her face.
She waved in the general direction of the path our mothers had taken a short while ago. “Your mother. She’s very…”
“Cold?” I suggested.
Regina nodded. “Yeah, pretty much sums it up. My mother told me once that it was exhausting trying to be her friend.”
“Why bother then?” I understood—sort of—why my sisters continued to try to please her. We were her children. But Regina’s mom was a respected business owner in this community. She didn’t need Elaine Hearsy’s approval.
“She put up the money to start the coffee shop. We wouldn’t have been able to do it without her. She feels she owes your mom. Although, my mother recently spoke to her attorney to see about buying Elaine out. I have a feeling she’s ready to start distancing herself.”
This information both made me feel vindicated and a little sad. How many other friendships of my mother’s were simply out of duty or obligation? She certainly didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to give people what they needed or wanted out of a relationship.
I cleared my throat. “Um, listen…I’m sorry for punching you. And I’m sorry it took so long to apologize.”
Regina’s smile could have lit up the room—if we were anywhere other than a funeral home. “I appreciate that.” She thrust out her arm. “Maybe we can be friends again.”
I slid my hand into hers, but instead of shaking, I pulled her to me, into a hug. I’d hugged more people since finding out about my grandmother’s death than I had in a decade.
And I liked it. I needed to make a point of doing it more often.
“I’d like that,” I assured her.
As if the last eighteen years hadn’t even happened, we fell right back into the comfortable friendship we’d had before that fateful day when I’d lost control and ruined it. It made me think of Lucas, and how close we’d become in the last few days. I wasn’t very good at letting people in. It was definitely something I needed to work on.
Regina’s mother reappeared, and they said their goodbyes, but not until after Regina commented that she hadn’t taken a vacation in a hot minute, and I suggested she fly out to one of our upcoming shows. If she chose the Detroit date, we had a three-day break after, and she and I could hang out, be tourists. Michigan was gorgeous in the summer, especially the northern part of the state. We could rent a cottage on a lake and just chill for a few days.
We exchanged numbers and promised to discuss it further, and then we hugged it out again before they finally left.
Ava stepped up to relieve me as greeter, so it was high time to find Lucas and have a real conversation. My equilibrium was off, and it wasn’t because of this viewing, dealing with my family.
It was because I was distanced from him, both physically and emotionally.
I shouldn’t have acted the way I had at the dress shop. I should have given him a chance to explain. I’m sure there was a logical explanation, and I was just as sure it did not involve a torrid love affair between Lucas and Danielle.
He wasn’t Hank. He’d never been Hank. He would never be Hank.
Lucas loved fully and deeply: his family, his bandmates. Me. We were in the middle of a fake breakup, and yet he’d dropped everything to bring me home to say my goodbyes to my grandmother. He’d taken care of me every step of the way and hadn’t asked for a single thing in return.
He’d given me everything, and I’d given him…nothing.
Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. Sleeping together wasn’t nothing. It was far from it. I was still afraid to admit even to myself what it really was, but I knew I’d get there.
Lucas was it for me, and I needed to figure out how to not only tell him but make sure I was contributing as much to the relationship as he was.
As soon as I found him, that was. Where was he?
