Page 72 of Echoes of Us
At night, alone in her dorm room, Ashley would sometimes talk to her Cole - the one who'd made her coffee every morning, who'd read physics equations like poetry."I went to karaoke tonight," she'd whisper into her pillow."Sarah's terrible at it, but she doesn't care.I wish you could see her - so young, so fearless.I think you'd like this version of her better."
She'd tell him about her days, about finally understanding quantum entanglement, about discovering that Dale had a secret collection of books on Egyptian mythology hidden behind his physics texts."We spent three hours arguing about Osiris myths," she'd say, smiling into the darkness."Did you know he was into that stuff?I never asked before."
The city lights would paint patterns on her ceiling as she continue her one-sided conversations."I miss you.Not this timeline's you - he's...different.Good, different, maybe.Marie's good for him.Makes him laugh in ways I never could.But I miss you.The way you'd hold me after bad days, the way you'd leave coffee by my bed on Sundays."
She threw herself into life with an enthusiasm that surprised everyone, especially herself.Tuesday nights became sacred - Sarah had decreed them "Adventure Nights," which usually meant trying every dive bar within walking distance of campus.They'd stumble home laughing, Sarah's voice hoarse from singing off-key, Ashley's cheeks hurting from smiling too much.
Between bar hunts and study sessions, Ashley found herself actually enjoying physics.Not the way Dale did, with his pure love of theory, but in the way it made patterns out of chaos.Still, she couldn't wait to get back to therapy - to help people make sense of their own chaos.
She saw Cole around campus, of course.It was impossible not to.But gradually, his presence stopped feeling like a punch to the gut.He became just another face in the physics building - someone she'd shared some intense moments with, nothing more.She watched him with Marie, saw how he softened around her, and felt something close to peace.
Dale, though - Dale became the surprise of this timeline.Their friendship deepened into something she hadn't expected.They'd spend hours in the lab, him explaining quantum theories while she offered psychological perspectives on historical figures' decisions.It was nothing like her relationship with Cole, and that was the beauty of it.She was finally seeing Dale for who he was, not as a shadow of his brother or a tragedy waiting to happen.
"You know what's weird?"she asked him one day, both of them surrounded by his collection of books on ancient religions."How we need distance sometimes to really see what's in front of us."
Dale looked up from his text on Sumerian myths, his smile knowing."Finally figuring that out, huh?"
It still hurt sometimes, watching Cole from afar.Not because she wanted him back but because she missed their friendship - the easy banter and the shared jokes.But maybe that's what growing up was really about - learning to hold both the hurt and the healing, the loss and the gain.
Maybe it was time to bridge that gap, too.
She found Cole in the east wing lab, his dark head bent over some equipment.Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door frame.
"Hey."Her voice came out steady and professional."Got a minute?"
He looked up, wariness flickering across his features before settling into careful neutrality."Sure."
"I wanted to..."She stepped into the lab, maintaining a safe distance."I know things have been weird.But I miss our group hangouts, and I was hoping maybe you and Marie would start coming around again.No drama, no awkwardness.Just friends."
Something unreadable crossed his face."Just friends?"
"Just friends," she confirmed, meaning it."I promise not to make it weird."
He studied her for a long moment before nodding slowly."I'll talk to Marie about it."
He did come, bringing Marie to their next gathering at Dale's.Ashley kept her word - stayed cool, smiled genuinely when Marie curled into Cole's side and didn't flinch when they kissed.She repeated her new mantra silently: different Cole, different timeline.
But sometimes...sometimes her eyes would catch on the way his fingers curved around his coffee cup, or how his forearms flexed when he reached for something, or the familiar way he ran his hand through his hair when thinking.His cologne - God, his cologne - would drift past her, and suddenly, she'd be lost in memories of another life.
It happened one evening at Dale's during what had become their regular Thursday get-togethers.Someone had brought up the multiverse theory, and suddenly she and Cole were deep in debate.
"But that's exactly my point," Cole was saying, his eyes lit with that intensity she remembered so well."If every decision creates a new timeline, then free will becomes almost meaningless."
"Or it becomes everything," Ashley countered, leaning forward in her chair."Because every choice matters infinitely more."
"How so?"
"Think about it - if every decision spawns a new reality, then we're not just choosing for ourselves, we're choosing for an infinite number of possible selves."
His smile widened, genuine in a way that made her heart skip."But doesn't that paralyze you?The weight of all those possibilities?"
"No," she said softly."It frees you.Because somewhere, in some timeline, every choice works out."
They went back and forth, the conversation flowing easier than it had in months.She'd forgotten how quick his mind was, how he could take an idea and turn it inside out, challenge it from angles she hadn't considered.She'd forgotten how alive he made her feel just by engaging with her thoughts this way.
It wasn't until Marie tugged gently on Cole's arm that Ashley realized the room had nearly emptied.Sarah and Eddie left an hour before Lisa and Mike did.Only Dale remained, gathering empty bottles with studied concentration.
Heat rushed to Ashley's cheeks as she watched Cole leave with Marie, suddenly aware of how carried away they'd gotten.How natural it had felt to fall back into their old rhythm of debate and discussion.
