Page 42 of Echoes of Us
He went very still."You don't know me."
"Don't I?"She stepped closer, close enough to see the pulse jumping in his throat."Tell me I'm wrong.Tell me you're not running away after graduation because it's easier than admitting you love physics as much as Dale does.Tell me you don't sabotage every real connection because it's safer than risking disappointment."
"Stop."His voice was raw.
"Why?Because I'm right?Or because you're not used to someone seeing past your carefully constructed walls?"
"Because," he ground out, "you're talking about yourself."
The accusation knocked the breath from her lungs.
“No, I’m not,” She shook her head in denial.
"No?"His voice turned dangerously soft as he stepped closer."Then why are you really here, Ashley?Running straight from a breakup into physics of all things - something you clearly hate - just to stay here for summer?"His eyes burned into hers."What are you trying to prove?Or better yet, who are you running from?"
Her first instinct was to laugh at how wrong he was.Running from?If only he knew she was running toward him, had been since the moment she woke up in this timeline.She didn’t give a damn about Charlie.Every decision, every move calculated to bring her closer to the man she loved.
But something in his steady gaze made the laughter die in her throat.
"You're so focused on fixing everything around you," he continued, his voice gentler now, "on rebuilding that fantasy of yours that you won't even look at what you've lost.What you're afraid to face."
His words, his truth, skewed as it was, were too close for comfort.
Her house - their house - with its half-packed boxes and dreams of a nursery.Her career, her patients, the life she'd built so carefully.All gone.She'd been so determined to save him, to save Dale, that she hadn't let herself feel the magnitude of her loss.
"Stop," she whispered, but the dam was already breaking.
"When was the last time you actually let yourself grieve for what you had?"His words were quiet but relentless."Or are you too busy avoiding it to notice?"
The tears came without warning, hot and sudden.She pressed her hands to her face, trying to hold them back, but they slipped through her fingers like time itself had done.
"Shit."The word was soft, almost reverent.Then his arms were around her, solid and real, one hand cradling the back of her head as she cried into his chest.He smelled of coffee and chalk dust and something uniquely Cole, and it only made her cry harder.
"I've got you," he murmured into her hair, all traces of coldness gone from his voice.His thumb brushed tears from her cheek with surprising gentleness."I’m the biggest asshole alive.I’m sorry."
"It's not your fault," she managed through broken tears, fingers clutching his shirt."You're right.I haven't wanted to look at it.At any of it.It's easier to just..."
"Keep moving," he finished quietly."Trust me, I know something about that."
She pulled back just enough to look at him, really look at him.In the dim light of their study room, his carefully constructed walls had cracked, showing something raw underneath.His thumb was still stroking her cheek, wiping away her tears.
"Why do you do that?"she whispered.
"Do what?"
"Pretend not to care.Push people away before they can..."She trailed off as his hand stilled on her face.
"Before they can what?"His voice had roughened."Leave?Disappoint me?Choose someone else?"His eyes searched hers."You tell me, Ashley.You seem to have already made up your mind about who I am."
"No," she said softly."I don't have any answers.Just...questions.So many questions."
Something shifted in his expression.The hand on her cheek slid into her hair, and she felt his other arm tighten around her waist."Like what?"
She should step back.Should put space between them.Instead, she found herself leaning closer, drawn by his heat and by the way his breath hitched when her fingers curled against his chest."Like why you're still holding me."
His eyes dropped to her mouth."I probably shouldn't."
"Why?"she asked, her hands sliding up to his shoulders, melting into him.The quiet of the empty library pressed around them, making time itself slow.
