Page 80 of Blue-Eyed Jacks
“What?”
She broke eye contact and blew out a breath.“I want to be alone.”
“How’s it feel to want?”No sooner than I said the words, I cursed my smart-aleck autopilot.
“What?!”
“Babe—” I’d spent the better part of the day getting teased and questioned about Kate and my plans to keep her in my life.Getting shit about it from her hurt.
She stuck a finger up in my face.“No.You do not get to dictate what I want.I distinctly told you I want to be alone.I told you last night that I don’t want to be in a cage.I told you.No.”
Ah.Right.“Was that before or after we decorated my desk?”I knew it was after.But couldn’t stop from sticking my foot in my mouth.
“Fuck you!”
She meant that.And not in a good way.
“Kate?”
“No.”
She’d closed herself off, hugging her body tight.And I was an utter asshole.I softened my tone.
“I’m not Shock.”
Her mouth opened and shut.Her color shifted from flushed to florid.With that shift, she figured out what she wanted to say.And she did so quietly.
“There are similarities.You’re both bossy.You have to be to run a club like this.However, I do understand the difference between you two.I would have been backhanded for telling Shock to fuck off.Part of me remembers that vividly.Another part of me is damn certain I never want that to happen again.And that part?She’s telling me to get the fuck away from you right now.And it isn’t because I’m scared of you or I thinkyouwould hit me.It’s because I’m deep in protective mode right now.
“I’m fragile.Yet I can’t be fragile because there’s no breaking allowed for me.There’s notimeto break.I have to be Zoe’s mom.I have to be the survivor.The one who doesn’t wallow in the pain.And do you knowwhythat is?”
I had the feeling if I stayed quiet, she’d tell me.And another feeling that if I didn’t stay quiet, she’d get angry with me.“I’m listening.Go on.”
Her chin wobbled.Her words came out broken and hoarse.They barely were above a clogged whisper.
“I was property.His property, the club’s.They even gave me a vest, saying I was theirs.The only person I could count on was me.I know you helped me get free.Iknowthat.But if I hadn’t taken the chance, it would’ve never happened.Deep down, I know the only person whoreallygot me out of there, was me.Not you.I…” She paused to collect her voice.
“You needed help.And I gave it freely.Not because I wanted something or because I had a beef with Shock.It was one of the rare times I didn’t do something for a reward.But you gave me… I can’t tell you how much I’m in awe of you.”
“Don’t be.I should have run sooner.”
My fists curled in rage at the torment she endured to get free.I remembered the bruising, her raspy cough.“Stop—”
Her eyes flashed to mine in question.There was fear in their depths.
I clarified.“Stop beating yourself up.You’ve got help now.”
I needed her to work with me, not against me.
She wasn’t seeing the big picture.I needed her to realize if I wasn’t in this room the entire night, Shock would use that against us.He’d isolate her.And it would make it much easier to break her this time.
“You got a whole club of somebodies to turn to.I hope you realize that.”
“Do I?”
Her hands were shaking.I’d missed something.
“What did I miss?What happened to make you shake like that?”
