Page 36 of The Liar I Married
I shake my head slowly. “It seems to me you have no faith in me whatsoever, if you couldn’t trust me with something like that. All these years not knowing and believing you’d been unfaithful was much worse. It’s caused a big rift between us. I’ve never trusted you since the night Renee was born and you left me alone to be at Daphne’s side. Each time I think of it, it breaks my heart. I’m just glad I didn’t have to go to my grave believing you were unfaithful. Although, going behind my back to keep in touch with her is another form of betrayal.”
“You’re so jealous, I was afraid to tell you the truth in case you left me. Now I can see how it’s affected you, I realize I should have come clean years ago. Honestly, Daphne was our close friend, I wanted to help her is all. Maybe I should have discussed it with you. At the time it was just a good deed. I guess, I didn’t think it through. I believed you’d be happy for her.” He drops his head into his hands and stares at the carpet again. “Is there anything I can do to mend this between us?”
I can’t believe my ears; he can’t expect me to believe this crap. I wet my lips, my throat is parched and I reach for a glass of water on the coffee table. “So because I love you and I’m jealousof other women pawing you, that’s your excuse for deceiving me? I asked you so many times about Renee and you lied to me. How can I possibly trust anything you say?”
“I don’t know.” He grips my hands. “Can we start over? If not for me for the sake of the girls?”
I refuse to be a doormat or a faithful dog any longer. “I can’t forgive you for deceiving me yet, John. Hurt like that takes time to heal and I can’t take any more lies. If you promise to be faithful and come clean about Rebecca Lawson I might think about it.”
“How many times must I tell you? There’s nothing between me and Rebecca.” He lifts his gaze to me. “There never has been and there never will be. She’s the company lawyer is all.”
I frown at him. “Oh, come on, John, there are images of you with her all over her social media page. Pictures of you with her at swank dinner parties, and all the time I was sitting at home. How do you think that made me feel when I found them?”
“The dinner parties, as you call them, were corporate meetings in the board room with important overseas clients.” John rubs the back of his neck. “It was all business talk and not a place for wives. Everyone there was employees of the company in important roles.” He drops my hands and leans back in the chair. “Not that you’ll ever believe me.”
I snort. “Well, it’s difficult when you bring her home to live in our guesthouse and from what Michael tells me she’s still there. Well, she’s inside the house now. Explain that?”
“She’s never stayed inside the house, Jessie.” John gives me an astonished stare. “I can’t believe Michael told you that. It’s all lies. She stayed over the night of the accident and then went to a hotel. FYI, she’s getting married to her longtime boyfriend and they’re moving to Hawaii.” He sighs. “I’m interviewing her replacement now. The best candidate for the job this time issomeone called Jason Standish. Somehow, I don’t believe you’ll have a problem with me having lunch with him.”
Knowing Ms. Lawson would be out of our lives makes me feel more positive about things but he did still switch off my life support. I look at him. “Do you love me?”
“You know I do.” John’s eyes soften. “That will never change.”
I think it through. What do I need to make it right? “I’m not going back to Grandma’s house. Not until I’m strong. I’m not going home—not yet anyway. I want time to figure out how I feel about everything. I want to see my girls and talk to my mom and dad. In the meantime, Alex has told me I can stay here.”
“No, I don’t want you staying here.” John shakes his head. “You hardly know him and you’re moving in with him. It’s not a good look, Jessie.”
I puff out a sigh. “Neither is having a secret family on the side, John. How long before you decide to leave me and go and live with Daphne?”
“I would have done it by now, wouldn’t I?” John rolls his eyes. “She is just a friend. I’ve never found her attractive in that way.”
I nod. “That’s the same with me and Alex.”
“Okay, okay, I get your point.” He shakes his head. “I’ll go home and ask your mom to drop by to see you before the girls finish school. She’s been caring for them at home since you regained consciousness. Are you sure you don’t want me to take you there now? She’ll be so happy to see you.”
As tempting as it is, I have too many things to consider. I need to think this through. The cops will arrest Michael and I need to tell my mom everything that happened. She’ll tell me what to do. I shake my head. “Not today. I need time to think, John. Is my dad there too?”
“Nope, he’s in Florida.” John pulls a phone from his pocket and hands it to me. “This is for you. I had intended on giving it to you when I went to see you. I’ve added all your contacts so you can speak to him.” He checks his watch. “If you’re not coming home with me, I’ll need to go to work. I’ll move my appointments around so I can come back and see you later.” He stands and bends to kiss me. “If you want to see me?”
I look into his deep blue eyes. I so want to trust him again. “That would be nice, thank you.”
I watch as he leaves, closing the door behind him and then turn as Alex walks back into the room.
“How did it go?” Alex drops into the chair opposite. “I did catch bits of conversation but I tried not to listen.”
I sigh. “I figure it’s a work in progress. At least the girls are real and I’ll get to see them soon.”
“I never had any doubt.” He grins, showing an expanse of white teeth. “I have a feeling everything will turn out just fine.”
THIRTY-NINE
The next morning, I walk along the path in Alex’s garden to see his fishpond. He has the Japanese theme going on and it’s like stepping into another world. Against a serene backdrop of vibrant greenery in lush green hues a small bubbling fountain spills water into a crystal-clear fishpond. I follow a carefully maintained path winding its way through the foliage and find a graceful wooden bridge arching over the fishpond. I immediately relax. I have the sun on my face and the breeze in my hair. “This is beautiful. Did you create this yourself?”
“Yeah, it took me a long time but it was food for my imagination.” Alex chuckles. “You would be surprised how many books I’ve written in my head out here.” His hand comes under my elbow. “Are you strong enough to walk over the bridge and look at the fish?”
I inhale the fresh air and smile at him. “If we take it slow, I’ll be fine.”
As I walk across, I pause to gaze down at the shimmering water and see koi of various colors—orange, white, and gold—sliding gracefully beneath the surface, some stopping occasionally, their mouths open to catch dragonflies. I can see the entire garden from my perch. Alex has created a work of art.Tall bamboo stalks sway gently in the breeze and stone lanterns, as if weathered by time, stand like sentries along the pathway and cast soft dappled shadows in the sunlight. I can see his hand in the creation; it’s so like his landscapes. It’s a peaceful retreat from the outside world. “So this is the view from your office. It’s wonderful. Are those cherry blossom trees? They must smell wonderful in spring.”
