Page 32 of The Liar I Married
“I don’t know if you can hear me, Jessie, but everything is going to be fine.” John sighs. “From what Michael told us, and after the doctor examined you, we believe you’re having flashbacks. It’s a type of PTSD. When you’ve been in a coma it can tip you over the edge. When this happens you can’t tell the difference between the flashback and reality.”
I never saw a doctor and I tap my finger fast; it’s the only thing I can move. It gets an immediate reaction.
“Are you trying to talk to me, Jessie?” John holds my hand gently.
I tap again. willing him to take notice of me.
“Okay, tap once for yes and two for no.” John pulls up a chair and sits beside me.
I tap once.
“Do you know what happened to you?”
I tap once.
“Was it a flashback?”
I tap twice.
“Was it something I did?”
I tap twice.
“Do you know where you are?” John clears his throat when I tap once. “Do you know who I am?”
I tap once.
“Do you know who caused this to happen?”
I tap once and try very hard to write the initial M on his palm.
“Something Michael said to you made you attack him?” John sighs when I tap once. “He said you went ballistic and threw things at him. I spoke to Maria and she said you were screaming. Do you remember attacking him?”
I tap twice.
“Okay. I know you’re in there and we’ve having a conversation. I know I caused all this to happen and I’ve been a jerk but you need to trust me. Can you do that, Jessie?” John sounds so sad.
I want to open my eyes and tell him everything is okay but whatever drug they’ve given me is making me like a zombie. I tap once. Right now he is the only lifeline I have. I need to face the fact that Michael has betrayed me. He tried to push me over the line and into insanity. There can be only one reason—money—but how did he find out about the conditions of the will? It was kept a secret to protect me—not that I should need protection from my own brother. Tears wet my cheeks in an uncontrollable stream.
“Oh, don’t cry, sweetheart. I won’t allow them to hurt you.” John unfastens the restraints and tears them from the bed. “They won’t be able to tie you down again. I’ll insist they stop drugging you too. I’ll ask Maria to keep an eye on you while I’m away.” He lowers his voice and leans closer. “I’ll find another nurse. I don’t like the way Dolly treats you.” He takes my handagain. “I wish I knew what Michael said to you. I don’t believe his story and you’re in no fit state to attack anyone. Do you want me to stop him from visiting you?”
I tap once.
John has been by my bedside for hours. Maria comes by to bring him coffee and meals. He makes phone calls, some to his boss and others to find a nurse from the agency. As time goes by, the numbness in my limbs decreases and I open my eyes. For once in his life, my husband is slightly crumpled. His hair is sticking up from where he must have been raking his hands through it. His shirt is open, tie hanging to one side, and he looks desperate. I can’t believe he cares about me and then Alex’s words come into my mind. When the private detectives were following me, he said John must be jealous. So maybe he cared enough then but why did he go and spoil everything by bringing Ms. Lawson into our home? I can’t get my mind around it. Do I trust him or not?
“Do you want a drink?” John uses the control to lift the bedhead and then holds a straw to my lips.
I drink but my head is swimming from just sitting up a little. I try to speak and my voice sounds foreign to me. I want to ask him about the girls so bad but what if Michael was telling the truth and I’ve lost my mind? I can’t risk it, not yet. I’ll start with something easier. “I didn’t try to kill myself, John.”
“I read the note, Jessie, but it doesn’t matter, you’re alive.” He places the water on the bedside table. “I searched everywhere for you the night of the wreck.”
I try to focus on him, my vision blurs and then comes back. “I wasn’t contemplating suicide. I couldn’t live with you and Ms. Lawson and decided to leave. I was coming here.”
“There were no skid marks, Jessie. The cops said you aimed for the tree.” John takes my hand again. “It’s history, don’t worry about it now.”
I shake my head but it makes me dizzy. “I’d never kill myself. The car was out of control. I recall that much. I remember trying to steer it and the steering locked or something.” I look him straight in the eye and tighten my grip on his hand. “Was I pregnant when I wrecked the SUV?”
“No…well, not that I’m aware.” His Adam’s apple bobs up and down. “The doctor at the E.R. never mentioned it. So no, I don’t believe so. Why?”
