Page 31 of The Liar I Married
I shake my head. “Remember the one I took at Christmas; you sat with the girls beside the tree and unwrapped the presents. You wore reindeer antlers and a red nose?”
“What girls?” He frowns. “Who are you talking about?”
Exasperated, I glare at him. “Okay, I know you’re not allowed to talk about the girls, in case it makes me flip out. Did you get your orders too?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jessie. I haven’t spoken to anyone, apart from Dolly.” Michael meets my gaze. He has a strange expression on his face. “She called the day you woke and I said I’d be home as soon as possible. When I asked after you, she told me you had memory loss but wasn’t specific.”
I sigh. “I can’t remember everything about the accident but you know I’d never speed with the girls in the car. This is why no one will tell me about them, isn’t it? They believe I tried to kill myself and take my girls with me.” I feel his arms come around me. “You know I would never hurt them.”
“No wonder John wants power of attorney. You need more time to get well, Jessie. You’re not okay. The head trauma must have skewed your memory or you’ve been dreaming when you were in the coma.” Michael stands me away from him, shaking his head. “I have no idea who has been feeding you these lies or why John hasn’t sat you down and straightened you out. Maybe the doctors have spoken to him. I don’t know.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “What do you mean, straighten me out? What is everyone hiding from me that’s so terrible it will send me crazy?” I glare at him. “Tell me or get out and never come back.”
“You were pregnant with twins when you hit the tree. They didn’t stand a chance.” Michael holds me tight as if I might explode. “There are no girls, Jessie.”
THIRTY-FOUR
THE NIGHT OF THE ACCIDENT
Anger shimmers through me as I climb behind the wheel of my red SUV. I head along the driveway and slow to watch John carrying luggage into our guesthouse. The light from the window spills out across the lawn and I can see the sitting room. He is inside with Ms. Lawson and she is kissing him on both cheeks and spinning around grinning as she surveys her new home. I want to spit, remembering the many hours I spent decorating the guesthouse to impress my visitors—not her, anyone but her. Seeing her there puts a bad taste in my mouth. I honestly feel like setting the place on fire rather than see her in it. Lights from a vehicle behind me blind me in the rearview mirror, and the next thing I know Michael is jumping into the passenger seat. He pulls up the top of his hoodie, as if he doesn’t want anyone to recognize him. “If you’re here to make me change my mind you won’t be able to.” I push my foot down hard on the gas and we flash through the entrance to my driveway and roar along the blacktop. “Are you sure you don’t want to get out?” I head along Main and toward the gates of the estate.
“Nope, but I will make you see reason.” Michael fastens his seatbelt. “You can slow down for a start.”
I hit the highway and accelerate, but not any faster than the legal speed limit. The thing with Michael is that he can’t get his head around the fact that women can drive as good as men. It will take me about an hour and twenty minutes to get to Litchfield Hills and Stonebridge Manor. I look at him and shake my head. “I knew you’d take his side. My husband’s mistress is moving into the guesthouse. What do you expect me to do, Michael? Just ignore her?”
“This is the trouble with you, Jessie: you’ve always gotten everything you wanted and once something doesn’t go your way you get aggressive.” Michael waves a hand toward the road. “Driving like a maniac doesn’t solve anything and it’s in your best interest to do whatever John wants you to. As his wife, you’re supposed to support him. How stupid do you figure it will make him look, if he needs to tell Rebecca she can’t stay?” His lip curls into a sneer. “Everyone in the office will say he’s under the thumb. That’s not a very good look for an executive partner, is it? Each time he needs to go away for a meeting with a client you start complaining. How do you think that makes him feel? Then you start hanging out with an author you met five minutes ago—in public so everyone can see. Do you know how many people saw you in the bistro with him? Gossip like that can ruin people’s careers—especially mine. The boss already knows what you’re like. He doesn’t want you at any client dinner parties. You’ve been holding John back for years and soon it will affect me as well. Leaving him will be the last straw. Turn this car around and go back and apologize.”
I stare at him in disbelief. How could he say such a thing about me? Does he believe I’m having an affair with Alex too? “Stop yelling at me. What you’re saying is lies. What I do can’t possibly affect your standing in the company. I’m surprised you’re still working and not off overseas living the life with the amount of money that Grandma left you. I know Mr. Collins hasalready distributed the funds to you and Mom. I’m the only one who hasn’t received a cent yet.”
“Yeah, that’s right, you got everything.” Michael shakes his head when I miss the turn and I take the next left, hoping to find my way back to the highway. “See, you don’t know where you’re going and you’ve driven this way a thousand times before. Stop the car at the next gas station and I’ll get a cab home.”
I accelerate. “Maybe you should get out here. I never imagined you were so greedy.” I snort. “They say money changes people. Now I can see what you’re really like.”
“Slow down.” Michael grabs the wheel and we wrestle with the steering. “No, don’t bother. I have a solution to all our problems.”
I stare at him. “What?”
He is so strong I can’t turn the wheel. We fly along a straightaway but a sweeping bend at the end is coming up fast and I can’t keep the car on the road. A small clump of trees on the corner is getting closer. I lash out at him, pummeling his arm. “Let go of the wheel. You’ll kill us.”
I try to stand on the brake but Michael’s foot is on my side of the footwell. He’s turning the wheel and screaming at me. My hands slip on the steering wheel as the headlights pick up a jack-o’-lantern hanging from the tree. Something hits my head and then the tree is right there. I’m screaming as metal screeches and glass shatters. In a cloud of white, the airbag explodes, hitting me in the face. Tree branches shatter the side window and impale me. Darkness creeps into my vision. I hear a door open and Michael’s voice over the hissing of steam.
“Goodbye, Jessie.”
THIRTY-FIVE
NOW
I’m screaming. Is it in my head? I’m opening my mouth but no sound is coming out. I can hear just fine, although I’m drifting into oblivion. I can’t move my arms or legs—am I paralyzed? Have I suffered a stroke? I recall Michael’s face as he talked about my girls. Why did he say things like that? My memories of them are clear. I think back to the day they were born and remember everyone who was in the room. Seeing John with one in each arm, dressed in hospital scrubs and grinning like a baboon. I recall laughing at the nurse who said John was the only father she’d met in the delivery suite who looked immaculate in hospital scrubs. So many memories: the day they first walked—they did that a few minutes apart. Their first words, and taking them to school.
Has my mind created a fantasy? It all feels so real. Was I pregnant in the car wreck? No, that’s not possible. I’m in my thirties. I know this and I had the girls in my twenties. It has to be a lie but why would my brother, who I love and trust, be lying to me? It makes no sense. Unless I overheard I’d killed my babies before I fell into the coma, and during the last year under sedation I created a life that never existed? The voices grow louder. I can hear John speaking to Dolly.
“Why is she restrained?” John is close by and he grips my hand. “She’s sedated. I want those removed at once.”
“She attacked her brother and was uncontrollable.” Dolly’s voice comes from the other side of my bed. “I needed to sedate her to get her back to bed. Her brother carried her in here. You don’t understand when they get violent, they need to be restrained.” She sighs. “Maybe you need to place her in a psychiatric hospital, although I’d hate to think what would happen to your reputation if the media got hold of the story.”
“No, that’s out of the question.” John squeezes my hand and I tap his hand with my finger. “I’ll sit with her for a time.”
Footsteps disappear and John leaves me for a few seconds. The door closes and he is back, his cologne washing over me as he brushes a kiss over my lips. I want to open my eyes and tell him what happened, but the lids are so heavy and my body feels as if it’s sinking into the bed. His warm hand closes around mine again. I move my fingers.
