Page 48 of Twisted Bonds
I reach up and caress the stubble sprinkled across his face as I give him a slight smile. "Let me take a shower, and then we can talk a bit before we turn in."
Beau nods. "Yeah, okay. Are you hungry? I can grab something at the sandwich shop down the street."
"That would be perfect. We left before the pizza arrived, and I haven't eaten since breakfast." As if on cue, my stomach rumbles, and we both laugh.
"Six-inch Club on wheat, light mayo, lettuce, pickle, and onion?" Beau recites the sandwich I always had him get me back when I was detoxing.
It's fitting for our situation, so I shrug. "Yeah. That sounds perfect."
Leaning in, he pecks my check. "I'll be back. Enjoy your shower," he says and starts for the door but stops just before opening it. "Oh, you should have some clothes in the dresser in the Master bedroom. I unpacked your stuff thinking I would bring you home soon."
I smile and nod, then watch him walk out the front door. Taking a deep breath, I let it out and head upstairs for my shower. I know I already took one tonight; Beau probably thinks I'm crazy, but I still feel Bain all around me. Maybe if I clean up here, I'll feel different, and I can have a good conversation with Beau. He at least deserves my full attention, and I intend to give him just that.
I'm not really sure what happened. One minute, I'm standing under the hot spray of the shower, and the next, I'm curled up in the corner of the shower, bawling my eyes out. I can't remember the last time I cried like this. That could be precisely why; it was all the events leading up to this moment when I should have let my feelings out but didn't. I had to be strong in front of everyone. The women at the shelters need to see me strong; it's the only way I can get them to function at all.
I spent all my time concentrating on being strong and not breaking down, so I wouldn't have to think about the shit show my life has been. In doing so, I also didn't have to think about Beau as often as I would have had I not. It would have been ten times worse.
None of this matters at the moment. What does is the fact that I don't remember any of the last few minutes that I've been in here. Maybe it's been more than a few because the water is cold, but I can't get up…not yet. I need to get myself under control, so Beau doesn't see me…
"Ryan, are you okay in there?" Beau calls out from the other side of the door.
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Be out in a sec…" I call out as I try to stand, only to slip and make a loud crashing noise.
The door bursts open, and Beau rushes in. "What happened?" he asks frantically.
"I'm fine; I just slipped." I try to laugh it off as I stand, but he grabs my chin and makes me look at him.
"You were crying—and the water is ice cold!" He reaches for the faucet and turns it off before grabbing my towel and holding it open for me to step into. "I'm sorry I made you come here with me. I don't ever want to be the reason for your tears. I can take you back to the Manor once you're dressed."
"What?" I ask, confused. "You think I was crying because I came here?"
"Aren't you? Maybe you'd rather be in someone else's company than mine…" He doesn't say it in a mean way. In fact, it's pretty pathetic the way it comes out of his mouth.
I pull back and stare at him. "Have I ever lied to you, Beau?"
He continues to pat me dry, and I don't even think about my nakedness, and neither does he as his brows furrow, and he shakes his head. "No, not that I know of."
I stop his hand and take hold of his wrist. "Will you please stop acting like you know what's going on in my head? It's starting to really piss me off. If you must know, I hadn't even realized I was crying, but when I did, I felt relieved a bit. That cry has been building up for a long damn time, and yeah, maybe you were a tiny part of it, but in no way did you overshadow all the other shit that caused me to lose it."
A grin creeps up on his face. "There she is…"
"What are you talking about?" I ask as I roll my eyes. "She who?"
"The feisty girl I fell in love with all those years ago. I knew she was still in there somewhere." He grins, showing off the dimples I love so much.
Throwing my hands up in the air, I move past and leave Beau standing in the bathroom while I go to the dresser he had said my clothes were in. Rummaging through the top drawer for panties, I feel his body heat at my back before I feel his body press against mine, his hand gently running up my hips.
"You're still so fucking perfect, Ryan." His voice is dripping with lust, which automatically sets certain parts of my anatomy off.
"Beau, this isn't a good idea—not tonight." However, my words don't affect him as he chuckles, "Good, because, after two long years, I'll probably embarrass myself. I just want to appreciate your beautiful body because it's been too damn long."
My head rests back against his chest when his hands come up and cup my breasts. He nuzzles my neck. "I've missed you so fucking much, Ry."
"I've missed you too, Beau." I give a slight pant as he tweaks my nipple, and then I moan.
"I think we'd better go eat before we both do something that we might regret," Beau states as he pulls back from me.
"Y-Yeah. That's a great idea. I'm also going to turn in early, so we should probably head down, huh?
