Page 47 of Twisted Bonds
"Stop overthinking it, Ry. I know you were with my father back at the house while we waited downstairs."
I neither confirm nor deny it. What Bain and I did in private is just that, between him and I. If Beau knows, then why does he want me to kiss him?
"Beau…" I try again.
"Stop talking, Ryan. Do you think I give a rat's ass if you kissed my father earlier? Have you not figured out that I would do anything to keep you? You're mine, Ryan. You've been mine since I saw you that first time. I will never give you up without a fight."
Still, I hesitate, but deep down, I want nothing more than to crush my lips to his. My pulse races, and my palms begin to sweat as I gaze into emerald green eyes that darken into almost a forest green as they fill with lust before my eyes. His lips part just a little, but enough to know that I want to feel them on mine again so badly.
"I need you to kiss me, Ryan. If you truly love me still, don't let something as simple as a kiss with my father stand in the way," Beau states.
"What if it was more than a kiss?" I ask, knowing that this determines it all.
I notice hurt peek out from his features before he asks his own question. "Did you? Do more than just kiss my father while he was up there?"
"I will never lie to you, Beau. Yes, we loved each other one last time because I knew it would most likely be the last time."
I watch his Adam's apple bob as he swallows hard before straightening a little more. "I don't care. None of that matters, Ryan. Right here, right now—this is what matters. Now please, kiss me already because I'm dying over…"
My mouth crashes against his as I cup his strong jawline. The day-old stubble prickles my hands, but I revel in the feel of him. I open my mouth and let him in so our tongues can lash out at each other in the most eroticway. The taste of him hasn't changed. There's always been a hint of spearmint, but I never see him chew gum or use breath mints.
Beau pulls me close as he plunders my mouth, searching for a treasure I doubt he will ever find. When I pull away to get some air, the windows are steamed over. He quickly kisses me once more before he passes me to the other seat.
"Let's get you home, shall we? We can carry on with this conversation once we're there."
"Yeah, okay…" I say, flushed, as Beau pulls away from the curb and immediately takes off to my childhood home.
Twenty-Six
Ryan
Beau unlocks the front door and pushes it open, allowing me to enter first. As I step deeper into my old house, a rush of memories bombards me all at once. The furniture is different but familiar, as it was his and mine from when we were on the West Coast. Between the memories of growing up here and my time with him, I can't stop the burning sensation in my nose just before my eyes tear up.
"So much has happened since the last time I was here," I whisper, wiping my eyes.
Comforting arms wrap around me from behind, and Beau rests his chin on my shoulder. "Hopefully, we can make new memories here; maybe start a family finally…"
My breath catches at the thought of having kids. I want kids, I really do, but my life is such shit right now I don't dare bring a little human into it. However, the thought of a little Huntley running around does paint a cute picture, and I start to smile, but then a thought occurs to me…which Huntley would be the father?
"We need to discuss and work through a lot, Beau. We can't just pick back up from where we left off. We're not that same young couple we were two years ago; a lot has happened since then."
"You're right, Ry. We have changed—I've changed—but do you want to know what hasn't? My love for you. I love you just as much now as I didback then, and I plan on loving you until my dying day. You've always beenitfor me, Ry. What we have both been through would weaken lesser people, but we are who we are because of each other. We make each other stronger; we always have."
Beau's speech touches deep down, but I never expect anything less regarding him. I've always felt his love for me and had never questioned it until I thought he walked away from me. This struggle I'm having within isn't about whether he deserves another chance. No, it's about whetherIdeserve another chance withhim.
I'm not even sure when I will be able to get over his father.God, that sounds so taboo!Even now, I can feel the inner darkness creeping in, and my body is on edge, waiting for the one thing that can give it peace. Unfortunately, I don't know when it will be able to find it again, at least while Beau and I try to figure things out. It's not just the kiss of the whip, though. It's also the man who wields it. I've come to deeply understand the man behind the suit and the dominating persona. Hell, his own son doesn't know the real Bain, but I do.
I turn my head and look at Beau from the corner of my eye as he still holds me close. "I don't think you realize the depth of depravity and humiliation I went through, just like I don't understand yours. Even though we've gone through similar events, being captive to others, make no mistake that what I endured and what I wasforcedto make others endure goes way beyond the scope of being fucked up. I will forever be paying for my role in how some of these trafficking victims are now living their lives.
“Some have turned toward prostitution, while others have turned to hard-core drugs. Hell, a few have taken their lives because the thought of living amongst society again was too much for them to bear. Granted, those were victims from before my time, and I try to tell myself that it was me who had helped to free them, but it never works." I turn away from him again. "This is my path in life, and anyone who wants to be a part of it has to be willing to let me do what I need to do when it comes to this matter."
"I don't mind taking the backseat and letting you drive when you need to, Ry, just as long as you will join me back there when your work allows it. In fact, I would love to get involved in this cause with you. We can save the world together, baby." His lips brush against my cheek, and I close my eyes from the comfort of their touch.
"It's something to think about once we figure outusfirst," I say.
"Is there really that much to think about, Ry? Have I lost you so much that I have to start from scratch?" There's something in his voice that gives me pause.
I move from the comfort of his arms to turn to face him. I used to be able to see right through him and read every expression on his face, but I'm stumped this time. It almost looks scared, but with something added to it—dread, maybe?
