Page 34 of Twisted Bonds
I watch the housekeeper walk out as I lean back in my chair. If Harrison is snooping around, he either knows his wife is here, or he's trying to find out if she's here. The last thing I want is issues with the police, but I'll be damned if I hand Liv over to his abusive ass.
Watching Ryan and Liv together on the way home was nice to see. I had the women fly back with us and witnessed Ryan as her true, carefree self, not just with Liv but with all the women. I always want to see her like that, but I know it isn't possible. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure Ryan remains happy, including dealing with Erik Harrison.
Nineteen
Ryan
I'm not sure what to think or, more importantly, how to feel. For so long, I've held a grudge against my stepfather for what he did to Beau and me. Yes, I have forgiven him since because he has shown me his remorse and has done whatever he could to make it up to me, but I can never forget about it. I can never forget that I am no longer with the man I love because of Bain's past actions, but it's evident that I can get past it.
Our arrangement was supposed to be just that, an arrangement. The Dom in my stepfather would get what he needed, and I would get the pain that I needed, without having to go looking for someone who was good enough, and we would both have someone who could handle the darkness we each have living within us. Neither one of us wanted a relationship. Beau will always have my heart no matter what and I would choose him every time if ever he were to come back to me. In no way were emotions supposed to get involved between us, but somehow—they have.
That last night in Italy shook me to the core, because not only could Ihearthe emotion Bain was feeling for me, but I couldseeit in his eyes,feelit in his touch, andsenseit through every action that took place. However, that's not all. That night—I fell in love with my stepfather.
I've been avoiding him all week, trying to keep myself busy with the Foundation and doing inventory at the shelter houses. I've even been tempted to take Agent Castor up on an offer to accompany him on another trafficking ring bust. This is what brings me back to the house in the middle of theafternoon. I knew Bain was working from home today, so as I walk in the door, my nerves start to get the best of me.
I see Helen walking toward Bain's office, and I sigh a sigh of relief for the slight reprieve. Not only is it going to be hard talking to him after that night, but I know he isn't going to like this offer from Castor. Bain doesn't like me being in the thick of everything because that makes me a target. When he heard about Julien's threats, he amped up security around the Manor and shelter houses, not wanting to take any chances.
I go to the kitchen to heat myself up some lunch, and I'm just about to sit down when Helen comes back in. "Oh, you're in here! I just sent Jess to go find you." The older woman chuckles. "That girl will be looking for hours…"
I join in with my own little laugh. "Leave her alone. Jess is a very hard worker and loves to please. She can't help it if she's just a tad bit ditzy."
"I will agree with you there; Jess is the best housekeeper I've ever hired to help me." Helen smiles warmly.
"So, why did you send Jess on a never-ending search party?" I ask as I take another bite of my heated-up pasta.
"Oh, yes! Mr. Huntley asked that you stop by his office before returning to work."
"Ah, well, that's great timing because I had planned on doing so anyway." I smile, take a couple more bites of my lunch, and then I scrape the rest into the trash.
"You're too thin, child. Your mother may not be here to shove food into your mouth, but I am! You best start eating better or else…"
I kiss her cheek when I pass the older woman. "Yes, ma'am." I giggle when she swats my ass on the way out of the kitchen.
My palms begin to sweat as I near Bain's office. Knowing that he's waiting for me is just a little nerve-wracking. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Maybe I was wrong, and he doesn't feel any different toward me, but is that any better? I'm caught in a limbo where, on the one hand, I want him to feel the same way I do, and on the other, I don't because that means a decision will have to be made and I may have to face the fact that I've moved on when I said I never would.
The office door is open, and when I peek inside, Bain's head is down as he writes. I stand here a moment, taking the sight of him in. He is a good-looking man and keeps himself in top form. Everything that man wears looksgood on him. My mind begins to wander through memories, but I catch myself doing it instantly and shake them free. Taking a deep breath, I let it out and tap my knuckle on the door. When I step inside, he glances up and smiles as soon as he lays his eyes on me. He leans back in his chair and nods toward the door.
"Can you please close the door? What we have to discuss needs to stay between us—for now."
"Sure," I say, but cringe when my voice squeaks.
Shutting the door quietly, I walk over and take the chair in front of the big mahogany desk. Bain's stare is beginning to stir things in me that don't need to be stirred at the moment. The longer the silence goes on, the more my thighs squeeze together, and I can't just sit here any longer like this.
Clearing my throat, I start, "Helen said you wanted to see me? What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"
"Yes, sorry. I've barely seen you all week. I was just taking in my fill before you ignore me for another week." He doesn't say this in a mean way, but I still take it as a jab.
"I'm sorry, I've been busy with inventory at both shelters and catching up on paperwork. Also, I've decided to take some classes online to get my diploma. I've yet to finish high school. That's one promise I mean to keep…"
I don't know what's come over me; why I'm getting so defensive over this.Bain would not stop me from continuing my education. I just know that after all this time, and now that things have settled, I can fulfill my promise to my father. I've given up on so many things over the years, and even though my not graduating isn't my fault due to my captivity, I still feel like I've failed my father.
"That's great to hear, Ryan. I'm so proud of you." Bain praises. "I knew you were doing inventory, but I hadn't realized you had enrolled in classes."He gives me a warm smile, and now I feel like such a bitch.
"Thank you. I feel so much better knowing that I will be able to get my diploma after all."
"So, is there anything else going on? How is Liv doing?" Bain asks.
"Things are going well. We've had a few more leave to return home this past week, so that's good. Liv… She's doing okay. I can see the sadness in her eyes, especially when she places her hand over her stomach and is thinking of the baby. She's scared, I think."
