Page 6 of Allure
Syra couldn’t deny how this all looked—Marco using the guise of his business to get her back—but what would be his angle? Some petty revenge for walking out on him? That didn’t seem to be his style, and he didn’t seem enthusiastic about repeating their past—six months ago notwithstanding. If she took her emotions and what happened between her and Marco out of the equation, it made sense for them to sign the contract. Garrison Inc owned the majority of Lockwood, and they had enough connections to make the building of Sirens go smoothly and probably be able to get the word out about what type of club it was so their opening night wouldn’t be a total disaster.
She let out a breath as her early resolve to cut ties slowly started to slip away. “I think I do need to talk to them, well, Marco really, before I can decide. There’s a little too much history between us, and I don’t want that to get in the way of what we’re trying to build.” Syra stated, feeling that was the best course of action.
Kat nodded. “That makes sense, and for the record, my vote is for whatever makes you comfortable. Going into business with your ex, especially one you didn’t part with on great terms, can get dicey.” Her phone buzzed, and a small smile teased her face as she reached for it.
Syra looked at her friend with a little envy, missing the days where a message on her phone didn’t fill her with dread but made her smile instead.
“And on that note, I need to leave to get ready.” Kat stood and both Delilah and Syra followed, giving her a tight hug.
“Have fun for me.” Delilah called out as Kat left. “Ahh to be young,” Delilah murmured, grabbing the Chinese food containers.
Syra snorted. “We’re all the same age, you goof.”
“Yes, but Katrina is on her way to get her back blown out for the fourth night in a row while I’m over here collecting cobwebs in my vagina. Forgive me for being envious.” Delilah pouted, and Syra couldn’t contain her laughter.
“You went out like a week ago. What are you talking about cobwebs? Aren’t you seeing that couple you met from the party you went to last month?” Syra asked, helping Delilah clean up a bit.
When only silence greeted Syra, she paused and turned to look at her friend. Something dark passed behind her eyes that made Syra’s stomach drop. Her mind filtered with all sorts of worst-case scenarios before she could get her lips to move.
“What happened?” she asked in a rush as she stepped closer to Delilah, looking for something she might have missed before.
“It’s nothing,” Delilah waved her off. “Nothing bad happened between us. We’ve run our course and ended things amicably. I just have been feeling odd…a little off lately…and I guess watching Kat go out kind of amplified that feeling. I don’t know how to describe it really, but I promise you, I’m fine.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Syra opened her mouth, but Delilah shook her head. “I’m steady, Syra. And don’t try to change the subject so we have to talk about me. Where’s your head at, really, with all this? With Marco and Joel.”
Syra pressed her lips together, studying her friend. Delilah was one of the strongest people she knew, along with Raven, but Syra knew that even the strong couldn’t carry their burdens on their own forever. Though she wasn’t sure if she should push Delilah either. She said she was steady, but did that mean she could take on Syra’s problems? She didn’t want to weigh her down more. Syra’s problems with Joel and Marco weren’t going anywhere any time soon—especially not the problems with Joel, who refused to let their marriage legally end. If Delilah needed a friend, Syra didn’t want to be selfish, she could sort through her own crap another day.
“Don’t do that.” Delilah’s voice was sharp. “I asked where your head is at for a reason.” Delilah put the Chinese food containers back down on her coffee table and grabbed Syra, pulling her to sit on the couch.
“Talk to me,” she held onto Syra’s hands, giving them a tight squeeze and still Syra hesitated.
What could she say of the mess she created?
How she had left Joel and found Marco not once but twice?
“What’s there to talk about?” Syra started, looking down at their joined hands, wishing she hadn’t been so foolish. “You know this story. I fell in love with Joel when I was barely an adult. He was my world…at least, I thought he was. I left him twice, and the second time, I found a man who breathed life into me in a way I didn’t know could exist and that scared the shit out of me.” She chuckled weakly. “So much so that I left him and everything we could be to go back to a man I wasn’t in love with anymore…if I ever was.”
What Marco and she had should have only existed for one night when they first met years ago. She was a fresh-faced twenty-six-year-old wondering what life had to offer her. She wasn’t looking for anything other than a quick fuck, but he’d been this power source for her, brightening her night sky in explosive strikes like lightning. He had been her fuel—the reason she had been able to get out of her own way to put her dreams into reality, putting her art forward and curating an art show for herself. He helped her become a big name in the art world, and when he confessed his love for her, she panicked. She thought part of her heart still belonged to Joel who had given her the freedom to find herself, and she felt like she owed it to him and what they shared to try again.
“Now that I’m older and wiser,” Syra continued, “I could see that Joel and I had run our course. It went on too long and him letting me go that second time, I should have stayed gone and not come back to marry him. We were never the same when I came back, and it was a mistake to ignore what I was feeling. I knew we were over, but the nostalgia was there. The safety he represented seemed like such a sure thing, and I was a fool to give it up. He’d been with me the longest, you know? How could I turn my back on him in favor of the unknown with someone new?”
For the first time Syra was willing to admit to the parts she played in the shit show that her life turned out to be. Running from Marco’s love when he’d been nothing but patient and understanding had been a mistake. Especially when she thought about all the time she and Joel wasted going through the motions of a relationship that had died out long before they had taken their breaks.
Syra knew now the only real reason she had practically run back to Joel was because he had been familiar and what she knew was safe. They’d been together since she was nineteen and had known each other for a lot longer. She knew what to expect and what she was getting with him. She may have left him to find herself and some excitement, but he had been what she always knew. All he had to do was call her and remind her that the unknown she had with Marco and her art could fail. Joel was a guarantee—a sure thing. She wished she had been brave enough to step into the unknown back then; her life would be drastically different now.
“It seems like everything is coming to a head, and I’m constantly finding myself questioning, what if? You know?” Syra whispered as she glanced at her phone. She wondered how long it would take for Joel to sign the divorce papers and if working with Marco would rekindle the flame she snuffed out between them.
When they were together six months ago, it had felt like no time had passed between them, yet she had felt something different had shifted between them as well. They were older now—a lot older, with life lessons making them wiser.
Could she work alongside him and keep this business only?
Could he?
Every time they were in each other’s orbit, they collided in a violent crash of limbs until they were buried so far underneath each other’s surfaces there wasn’t any place they could go to escape. In all the years Syra had been physically away from Marco, she still felt him in the beat of her heart and heard his voice lingering in her mind.
“You want advice or just need me to listen?” Delilah asked.
Syra pulled her gaze back toward her dear friend, smiling despite the heaviness that weighed on her. She loved that Delilah always asked what she needed. Most people would have offered up unsolicited advice that would have meant nothing to her. “From you? I’ll always take your advice, D.”
“Correction, you’ll always hear what I have to say. You won’t always actually listen to it.” Delilah chuckled. “I remember how happy you were with Marco, even though I didn’t make the connection that it was him, every time we talked, you were smiling and just happy. I remember how different you were when you went back to Joel. And I’m not saying for you to jump back in bed or a relationship with Marco,” Delilah hurried on when Syra tried to interrupt her, “all I’m saying is, go talk to him. Find out where you two stand in regards to each other and this business venture. Just take all of this one day at a time. You don’t need to figure everything out right this second, and remember to be kind to yourself.”
