Page 51 of Sins of Seduction
He remembered how broken Raven was when he was called to the scene of her death. No one could get through to her, and it was Cruz who called him to come get her—the one civil act of kindness his friend had afforded Raven was in those moments. Jax had walked in on Cruz trying to get her to leave Lea after she’d climbed in the tub with her. How gentle Cruz had been was such a contrast to how he usually was. Jax thought for sure that would have been enough to get Raven to leave Lea’s side, but it wasn’t.
Cruz and Jax had to physically pry Raven away from Lea’s lifeless body, and he remembered how hard it had been to get her out of bed in the weeks following the funeral. Raven had been an empty shell of herself, but Jax had been there to guide her back to herself, and she emerged, just like he knew she would, the sun kissing the sky after months of rain.
Jax wanted to ease Raven’s fears, but it was foolish to tell her nothing was going to happen to him—there were no guarantees he’d make it to see the next sunrise. But that was life in a nutshell and one of the few things he kept from the faith his grandparents and mom instilled in him. When it was his time, there was nothing he could do to stop it, even though he knew Raven would try.
“Rave…,” Jax started and stopped, searching for the right words to make her believe they were in this together and stronger facing whoever this was as one than they would ever be apart. He made too many mistakes when it came to her, and he wasn’t going to let this be another one. “How do you think I’ll feel if something happens to you because I walked away again?”
“Jax,” she let out a sigh, “that’s not the—” she abruptly cut herself off before he could. This was exactly the same thing and she knew it.
Raven gripped his wrist and leaned her head against his. They fell into a silence that was comforting, having a conversation with each other that words couldn’t convey. As much as they both wanted to keep the other safe, deep down they both knew they were safer together.
Them being apart never lasted long anyway. They always found their way back to each other, and Jax knew even in another life, it would always be like that. He just hoped he got out of his own way sooner so he would have more time with her.
Raven broke the silence. “I love you, Jax Pierce.” The words wrapped around his heart, giving it a tight squeeze. He loved the way she said his name. It was always a breathy whisper that teased his senses and lulled him into her atmosphere.
“I love you too, Raven Wright. Now stop trying to push me away already.” That got a surprise laugh out of her, and Jax pulled her in for a quick kiss that she deepened.
Raven slipped her tongue past his lips and pulled a growl deep from his chest. He grabbed her hips and hauled her across his lap. She broke the kiss long enough to get his shirt up and over his head before her hands went to his jeans. He grabbed her hands, holding them in place with one hand while he trailed his fingertips lightly up her fight arm, barely touching her but just enough to watch her skin rise to meet his fingertips. Jax’s hand skirted across her chest, before he gripped her neck and applied just enough pressure to feel her soft gasp across his face.
There was a fire that danced in her golden eyes followed by a wicked smirk that teased her lips, letting him know that while he may like to believe he was the one calling the shots, Raven was always in control. “What’s the rush, Ms. Wright?” He applied more pressure against her neck, loving the way her pulse raced and her eyes hooded. “I know your pussy aches when I’m not inside of you,” he leaned closer to her, his lips hoovered a breath above hers, “but maybe I want to take my time with you, tease you with my tongue first,” he traced her bottom lip with his tongue, “whisper how much you mean to me against your skin.” He bit her chin.
They always did their best talking with their clothes off. She used to tell him sex could just be about sex, but with them it was always more. The second their clothes came off, their walls came down as well.
Jax went to speak again when the shrill sound of a phone going off stopped him. He let out a groan, releasing his hold on Raven. “Tell me you don’t need to get that?” He let out a painful chuckle.
Raven pushed off of him, and he immediately missed her warmth. “I do. It could be anybody, the club, cops, Diane. It’s my email alert.” She walked into the kitchen, Jax’s gaze was pinned to the sway of her hips and the way her ass was encased in the blue denim of her jeans. He readjusted himself on the couch, cursing the interruption and hoping it was important. He had plans to peel Ms. Wright out of those jeans and lick every single inch of her until she was a whimpering mess against his tongue.
When Raven walked back into the living room, Jax couldn’t get a read on her. She held the phone in her hand and bit her lip as she glanced behind him out the window before returning to look at him.
“What’s wrong?” Jax asked. He leaned forward to reach out and pull her by the waist to stand in between his legs.
She smirked down at him before she pushed him back and straddled his lap. Whatever the interruption, was it wasn’t important—or life and death—and Jax was thankful for that.
“Nothing. That was Murray sending out a reminder about the party and to make sure we’re still scheduled to go. In all that’s happened, I completely forgot about it.” She hesitated, her gaze glancing behind him once more before she spoke again. “Do you still want to go?” she asked tentatively, and Jax couldn’t tell if she was asking because she still wanted to go or was looking for a reason not to.
Jax thought it over in his mind for a moment. The idea of a party still intrigued him, but was it the right time to go? Would Raven be safe in that type of environment? This was his first party, and from how Raven had explained it, though there would be some similarities to how Lush operated, it would still be a different experience for him.
His hands stretched across her low back, underneath her shirt. He loved the silky feeling of her skin under his fingertips—he really couldn’t get enough of her. “I would like to attend a party with you at some point, Rave,” he started, “the whole point in us giving this a go was to explore our sexual desires and fantasies together. That’s still on the table for me, but if you don’t want to go or don’t feel like you’ll be safe, we can forget about this party.” Her safety was important, and outside of Jax’s brakes getting cut, whoever this was hadn’t fully attacked her.
Maybe she would be safe at Murray’s. There would be security cameras and a tighter guest list than there was at Lush. The way Raven told him it went, no one got in without a personal invite, and everyone had to leave their contact information as well as an emergency contact. Whoever was lurking in the shadows wouldn’t get into Murray’s unless they were invited, and the intimate setting would make it harder for anyone to go unnoticed.
“It’s not about safety. I mean, it is. I’ve known Jess Murray for a long time. No one who doesn’t belong there will be able to get in. My hesitancy about this party has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you.” Her gaze shot back to the window before she continued. “We’re going to have a police presence tail us there and sit outside their home. It’s not going to take much to figure out what we’re doing. I know the station knows about me, about our relationship, but it was never in their face, there was no tangible proof. How are you going to feel knowing these men and women you’ve worked with and considered friends know how you like to fuck?”
Jax wasn’t surprised by Raven’s line of thinking. In the past, Jax had made a big deal that the station knew the sexual appetite of his girlfriend at the time. He’d always come home and bitched about some shit Cruz or someone else said. He hated it, but that was because he was fighting his own desires and wants at the time. He thought he had to fit into this neat little box of a God-fearing man who wore his faith like a second skin. He pushed down his darker parts in favor of fitting a mold that wasn’t built for him.
Things were different now—well, on the way to being different. It helped that he didn’t work with these people any longer. Maybe if he still had, he would be more inclined to postpone the party more out of selfish reasons than safety, but the opinions of others were no longer any of his business. What he did with his own private time was for him to enjoy, and if that happened to be with Raven and another wrapped around his cock or watching someone else sink into the sinfully slick and warm heat of Raven, so what?
Jax shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me the way it used to. I’m sure Cruz will have an opinion, but I think he’s learned to keep that to himself.” Jax’s hand slipped to her hip, giving it a tight squeeze.
The mention of Cruz had brought up the thoughts he tried to keep out of his head regarding Cruz, Raven, and himself. He hadn’t thought about the images his mind conjured up of the three of them together, but it was proving impossible now with Raven straddling his lap.
Jax could see Cruz standing behind her—like he was physically in the room with them now. Jax could see Cruz’s hand wrap around Raven’s slim throat with one hand and the other cup her breast, while Jax drove his hips into her. He could hear Raven’s throaty moans as clear as if she were moaning in his ear right now, and it was driving him mad.
He mentally shook himself, grateful the image of Cruz with Raven disappeared. Jax hoped they would be able to find someone at the party that would be perfect for a threesome so Jax could get the image—the want to share her with Cruz—out of his head.
Raven pursed her lips together, eyeing him curiously, and for a moment, he wondered if he’d spoken out loud. “If you’re really sure, we can still attend the party, Jax.”
Jax nodded. “I’m sure.”
