Page 49 of Sins of Seduction
Jax cocked his head to the side. “Did you finish it?” Raven shook her head and Jax let out a breath. “Maybe you should give up the protein shakes for a while. I haven’t seen you finish one of them without making a face. I’ll whip up some eggs and bacon if you want.”
Raven shook her head wondering what the hell was wrong with her that this entire conversation felt forced and awkward.
Jax called her name, and something in his voice had tears filling her eyes. A painful pressure built in her chest, and it felt like the wall she built up around her emotions was on the verge of collapse.
Jax closed the distance between them and opened his arms for her. Raven hesitated for only a moment because she knew the second he wrapped his arms around her that pressure inside of her chest would splinter. The wave of emotions she was trying desperately to hold on to or even bury would be unleashed and she’d be crippled by it. But one look into his eyes and Raven slammed herself into Jax’s warmth.
He moved them to the couch, and her body shook as the tears freely fell. The past week and a half coming to a head all at once, she could no longer ignore it. She grieved for the death of Bastillo and let the fear of almost dying clog the air around her. She let the uncertainty and confusion about what happened between her and Danielle wash over her. She prayed that this week apart would salvage their relationship because Raven wouldn’t know what to do if they couldn’t. She didn’t want to lose her as a friend or as an employee.
She let the uncertainty of letting Jax back into her life grab hold of her. She tried to put on a brave front, believing things would be different between them, but maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe this time he wouldn’t leave on his own but be forced out by whoever was after her or him.
Raven loved Jax. Time never lessened the feeling; it only intensified it, and as she clung harder to him, she whispered a silent prayer that she didn’t lose him the way she lost Lea.
Greyson looked over the list that Raven and Jax had left for him and Cruz. Raven’s list of names and places had been considerably longer, and even though Greyson felt it in his gut that it would be a waste of time, he had a few uniforms interview anyone who had been on file at the station for disturbing the peace outside of Lush.
Those who protested outside of Lush would be the obvious choice against Raven. They didn’t appreciate what Lush represented or what Raven was selling, and it would make sense to name any of them as the culprits. That is, if Jax’s Mustang hadn’t been touched. Still, it was better to cover all his bases instead of foolishly ruling anyone out. They had one death on their hands and one attempted murder; Greyson didn’t need to add another to the list.
Greyson cracked his neck, wishing he could kill the buzzing sound that was coming from the fan in the room. If he turned the damn thing off the room turned into a sauna even though there was an autumn chill in the air today. But leaving it on meant he had to deal with the constant buzzing sound, which made it impossible for him to think properly.
He let out a breath, looking back over the list. His attention kept snagging on Cruz’s name. He was on both Raven’s and Jax’s list, and while he wasn’t the only name they had in common, he was the one that stood out the most.
Greyson had worked closely with Jax when he was here and had been around many conversations Cruz had with Jax about Raven. It was clear there was a huge dislike between Cruz and Raven, but Greyson never understood what it stemmed from.
Had it been jealousy that caused the tension, or was there something deeper going on that Greyson wasn’t privy to?
Whatever it was, was it enough to make Cruz do something about it after all this time?
Greyson’s gaze shot past the window to where Cruz’s desk was. The man looked wary as he reviewed whatever paperwork littered his desk. Greyson would like to think he knew everyone who worked at this station on a semi-personal level and was a good judge of character. He wanted to believe Cruz had nothing to do with what was happening to Raven or the murder of Louis Bastillo, but being a cop for a little under ten years, even in a semi-small town like this one, showed Greyson you never really knew someone. People were masters at wearing masks and blending in—wolves among sheep.
You never really knew what skeletons people were hiding in their closets.
Raven didn’t know how long she sat against Jax’s hard chest, wrapped up in his strong arms. She didn’t really care either. After what felt like years of built-up tears shed from her eyes, she was content to stay in the safest place she knew—with Jax. He held her tight, his embrace steady and sure as her sobs wracked her entire body. His warm palm made soothing circles against her back, even now, while his other hand played with the runaway strands at the back of her neck.
It had been the perfect position to dig deep into everything she carried for the past five years on top of what she’d been through this past week and a half. She felt drained, exhausted, but now she had a better sense of how to deal with what was to come. She knew she was teetering a tight line of beingfineand completely breaking down, and with Jax’s silent comfort, she’d been able to unload what was too heavy to carry.
She snuggled further into Jax’s embrace. At some point he had grabbed the throw blanket on the couch and wrapped them both in it. His heartbeat, strong and steady, its own lullaby against her ear, made her feel like she was floating on a cloud and all her worries disappeared. She’d forgotten how at ease Jax had the ability to make her feel. As crazy as he drove her in the past with his views on her lifestyle and how combustible they’d been as a couple, it was always a shock to her senses when he held her like this in the quiet, calming the chaos either she or he would entice.
“I’m sorry.” The words fell from her lips only to be buried into his chest.
She felt Jax’s lips against the side of her head. “For what?” he whispered down to her.
Raven reluctantly pushed off of him and sat up, taking the blanket with her. They both adjusted themselves on the couch, but Raven remained seated in between Jax’s legs as he leaned up against the arm of the couch. She looked at him, really looked at him.
He’d changed so much from the first time she met him. Gone was the boyish charm that made her let her guard down with him in ways she’d never done with other people. In its place was a man who looked like he promised wicked sin with just the taste of his lips. He had grown into this soft strength that Raven loved. He was more reserved and quieter than she could ever be, but she knew what lurked under that peace.
He moved mountains with just his presence while she flipped cities by just existing.
They were the perfect balance that each needed to grow and become better people, but at what cost?
Raven could feel the presence of the cops outside of her home. They were only overshadowed by what they were doing out there: protecting her from the monsters that lurked in the dark. The same one or ones that may or may have not killed Louis Bastillo, a man she fucked once in her need to burn Jax from her mind. It had been a foolish attempt, and it probably got him killed.
Would that be the same fate for Jax?
“You know you shouldn’t be here. What happened with your Mustang was because of me. What would have happened if you were in the car instead of me?” Raven tucked the blanket closer to her chest.
“Aren’t you the one who always tells me not to dwell on the what ifs? There’s no proof that my brakes were cut because of you. I used to be a cop, you know. There could be a list of people who have it out for me.” Jax sounded so sure. There was no proof either way, but no one could convince her that it didn’t happen because of her.
“I don’t want to lose you, Jax. I just got you back.” Raven wanted to go back to that night at Lush, willing it to still be those hours Jax had waltzed into her club to prove he was ready for her lifestyle. She thought for sure her only issue when the sun came up that next morning was whether or not Jax had been serious. She hadn’t expected his emergence back into her life would also come with the promise of death.
