Page 36 of Sins of Seduction
In the faces of those that fall at your feet.
Do you see me?
The paper slipped from Raven’s fingers as she gasped for air. Every word felt like it had been penned by Lea herself, but that was impossible. She had been gone for years now, and her mother had given Raven whatever she thought Raven would want. This was either some sick and twisted joke or one big mistake.
Raven pushed away from the desk, needing to get away from the reminder of what her relationship with Lea had been. Her senses had seemed to shut down one by one. She couldn’t hear anything but the sounds of Lea’s screams, couldn’t feel anything but Lea’s soft touch, couldn’t taste anything but the way the Lea had tasted after Raven made her cum, and couldn’t see anything but Lea’s blood soaking her hands.
“You’re fine,” Raven chanted to herself as she rubbed her eyes before letting her head fall into her hands. She tried to push the memory of Lea smiling out of her mind, only for it to be replaced with the image of Lea laying in a coffin.
“Fuck.” Raven shot to her feet and began to pace the length of her office, trying to get rid of the nervous energy that coursed through her body. She felt ridiculous for reacting this way to a letter. She had worked through her relationship with Lea and the aftermath of it with a therapist. A silly little note shouldn’t have any effect on her.
But this isn’t the first note.
Raven paused her pacing, her heavy breathing making it sound like she’d run a marathon. Her eyes snagged on the calendar hanging in her office. She hadn’t even wanted to get a paper calendar to begin with—she had her phone and computer for that—but the calendar had been for charity: hotties and fur babies. Today’s date seemed larger than the rest of the dates on the calendar. Her heart sounded like a bomb going off in her chest as she took in what today was: October 5th
Today was the anniversary of Lea’s death.
All at once a calmness settled over Raven’s body and her breathing leveled out. “I’m losing my mind,” she whispered as she looked at the date.
Whatever therapy she’d worked through surrounding Lea’s death had gone up in smoke, but it made sense why she was exhausted and why things at Lush had rattled her to the point that she felt like someone was lurking in the shadows waiting to attack her.
This was the first year Raven hadn’t been prepared to feel the absences Lea’s death caused. She had gone on with her life like it never happened. The memory was no longer at the forefront of her mind, and while her therapist would probably tell her that she was healing, it made her feel like shit. How could she possibly forget the woman who meant so much to her even if she couldn’t love Lea the way she needed to be loved?
“Do you see me now, Rave? Why wasn’t I enough for you? I gave you everything.”
Lea’s voice lingered in Raven’s office along with the lilac and jasmine scent, but now that Raven knew what today was, she felt a little steadier—not by much, though. She gave herself a little shake, cracking her neck as she returned to her desk. She would visit Lea’s grave later to pay her respects but right now she needed to focus on the mountain of paperwork on her desk.
Raven grabbed the pile she already sorted through. The cops had done a bang-up job turning her office upside down in hopes of finding what, Raven wasn’t sure, but she knew Cruz was behind the little mess that was left behind. When she first came up here, she spent half the time righting papers, books, and chairs that had been knocked over. It made her want to march back down to the station and punch Cruz in his throat. It was going to be mayhem when he was in Lush, and she’d have to remind herself that he was here to catch a killer. She hoped the clientele gave Cruz a wide berth and didn’t try to approach him. For all Cruz’s faults, the asshole was fuckable—even to Raven. Though, once he opened his mouth, he always ruined it for himself.
“Please don’t be a dipshit,” she chanted to herself as she brought the pile over to her filing cabinet. Most of the stuff was on the drive in her computer, but some people liked to give Raven paper copies of their records, and she kept a copy of the signed contracts in paper form as well as digital.
Something caught Raven’s eye at the bottom of the cabinet. It was a silver chain poking out at the side of the cabinet. She bent down, giving the chain a little tug, and it came out with ease. The chain had a pendant attached to it. It was two hands wrapped around a heart. It looked like the same chain Raven had given to Lea as a gift when she was trying to make things work between them. It was also something that had been buried with Lea.
She played with the chain for a moment as the whisper of paranoia started to creep into her mind. There was no way this was the same chain she’d given Lea. It couldn’t be, the pendant was popular here in Ivywood, especially after it appeared in some romance movie. This could have belonged to anyone, including the cops who had been here. Raven tried to convince herself that she was being silly, but something deep inside of her was telling her this was no coincidence.
The floorboard creaked behind Raven, and she gripped the nearest item she had—a book—and turned around, preparing to attack whoever was behind her.
“Don’t swing.” Danielle’s voice caught her before Raven could hit her with the book, and Raven stumbled back.
“Jesus, Dee.” Raven’s heart felt like it was coming out of her chest, and she put her palm against it in an attempt to calm it down. “You just shaved off about five years of my life, and I think I’m having a heart attack,” Raven chuckled weakly.
Maybe Jax was right and coming back to Lush alone hadn’t been such a good idea. She felt like she was sitting in a house of horrors the moment she walked into Lush. Every little sound made her jump, and then when there were no sounds, it almost felt too quiet and that feeling like she was being watched had come back, making her feel uneasy.
You’re losing your mind.
“I called your name twice, and I knocked when you didn’t answer. What are you even doing here?” Danielle kept her hands up like she wasn’t sure Raven wasn’t all there and would attack her with the book.
Raven dropped the book on the filing cabinet behind her and stood a little taller. Her heart was still doing laps in her chest, but having Danielle in the office with her made her feel a little safer. “I figured I come in and clean up the mess they made. Plus, Diane gave us the names for the cops that’ll be here once we reopen, figured I get them in the system. What are you doing here? You didn’t have to come in.” Even though Raven was thankful that she did, Danielle took her role as her assistant seriously. The woman worked as hard if not harder than Raven to get everything in Lush and in Raven’s personal life up and running. She tried to give Danielle as much down time as possible, but she didn’t always take it.
Danielle shrugged. “I’ve been bored, figured I’d come in and get the cleaning crew in here plus handle the paperwork.” Raven steered Danielle back toward her desk. She grabbed the note that she had found and stuffed it into her jean pocket before she grabbed a couple of stacks of folders and handed them over to Danielle.
“Between the two of us, we’ll knock this out of the park in no time.” Raven gave a sheepish grin.
Danielle let a chuckle slip as she grabbed the folders, and something about the sound hit Raven square in the chest. Her chaotic heartbeat tripped over itself as she got a good look at Danielle standing in front of her. Something was different about her but familiar to Raven, like it had been at the hospital, as if there was some secret they shared between them.
“What’s the matter, Rave?” Danielle’s voice was barely a whisper, but it echoed in the quiet of the office. Raven had an insane urge to reach out and tug on the dark curls that rested on Danielle’s shoulders, just like she used to do to Lea all the time.
The air felt heavy as Raven continued to stare at Danielle. Something inside of Raven cracked open and crawled out of her, desperate to touch Danielle’s skin to see if it was as soft as Lea’s. A deep hunger curled low in her stomach—one she hadn’t felt in a long time and rivaled what she felt for Jax.
