Page 27 of Sins of Seduction
Raven shivered thinking about what her love had done to Lea. Their relationship had been hard and fast. Raven, rebounding over yet another break up with Jax, found the escape she needed on Lea’s lush lips and soft skin. Lea had been everything Raven needed and maybe a little bit more, but Raven never loved her the way she needed, and when they broke up it had sent Lea into a state of depression Raven hadn’t been prepared for or expected.
A chill ran down Raven’s back, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She glanced around Benny’s Dirty Dozen and through the packed parking lot. Her skin warmed, and she felt like she had at the station in the interrogation room. She was being watched, scrutinized even. She felt exposed just as she had in the interrogation room, but she didn’t see anyone staring directly at her or in her general direction.
Raven threw her ice cream sandwich down into the box it had come in, her mouth now having a sour taste in it. She let her head drop in her hand, rubbing at the spot in between her eyes. The headache she had earlier was threatening to come back along with a bone-deep exhaustion she hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Hey, what’s going on with you? Are you okay?” Jax was quickly at her side. His arm wrapped around her shoulders as he pulled her closer to his body. She wanted to dive into him, have him chase away whatever this was that seemed to be clipping at her heels, but how long would Jax be able to hold it at bay?
“Just a headache I’ve been fighting.” Raven lifted her head up to look at Jax, not surprised to see the concern in his eyes.
“You want to go home?” His hand cupped the back of her neck, his sure fingers digging into her skin and putting just the right amount of pressure to ease the ache that had started to creep into her skull.
“No,” Raven murmured. She could barely keep her eyes open as Jax continued to massage the base of her neck. “You and your magic fingers.” She sighed, feeling her body begin to relax.
Jax’s deep chuckle skirted across her skin, sending a different ache through her. Her hand landed on his thigh, and she felt Jax’s breath across her lips. “You remember when we first started dating?” His voice dropped to a whisper and her blood began to heat.
“We sat in this very booth. It was still warm for fall, and you had on a flowery dress.” Raven’s eyes closed, the memory of that day alive and well in her mind. “We had what we were having now, and while I can’t remember what we talked about, I do remember the way your legs fell open at my touch. The way you could barely keep quiet as my fingers explored your greedy cunt and the way you came all over my fingertips.”
Jax pressed his lips to her ear as he spoke, and Raven’s grip on his thigh had tightened as her core throbbed at the memory. It was one of the first sexual encounters they had. Raven had wanted to climb on his lap right here in Benny’s and have him fill her up. They barely made it out of the parking lot before Jax had pulled over and they fucked in his Mustang on the side of the road.
It had been explosive. Jax had an uncanny ability to turn her into a livewire, and he was the match that made her explode every single time.
Jax growled low in his chest. “I can taste you, even now, Rave. I wasn’t kidding when I told you you’re in my system. Your scent is on my skin. I can feel your walls wrapped around my cock—even when I’m not inside you.” He grabbed the hand that didn’t have a death grip on his thigh and placed it over the low rumble of his heartbeat.
“Look at me, Raven.” The command was there in his voice, and on instinct, her eyes flew open. “That’s my good girl,” the smirk that teased his lips made her want to roll her eyes.
“You’re in here too, Rave,” his hand wrapped around hers, holding her steady even while she felt like she was falling into the abyss of his dark eyes. “We’ve both tried to escape this, to run from it, and we always find our way back to one another. Two halves of a whole shouldn’t be a part. I want this, Rave. I want you and everything that comes with it.”
Jax held his breath as he stared into her golden eyes, being blinded by the light that shone through. She really was a light in his life that gave birth to the shadows he so desperately tried to ignore. She saw the dark corners and exposed him to his truth, and that may have complicated his life, but he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He didn’t want to live a lie when he knew he could live the truth with her.
He didn’t know how else to make it clear that he wanted her and wanted this to work this time. He was ready, and there was a reason that they kept falling back into each other, time after time. It wasn’t like Ivywood was small enough that they had no choice but to run into each other. This town was big enough that they never had to see each other again if they didn’t want to, but something kept pulling them back into each other’s orbit.
Jax may have given up the faith his grandparents and mom taught him, but he kept some aspects of it. He believed everything happened for a reason, and if Raven kept being put in his path all the times they tried to walk away from each other, maybe they were meant to be.
Or maybe she’s just a lesson you can’t seem to learn.
Jax ignored that voice in his head, knowing it didn’t belong to him. It belonged to years of religious parentals telling him that women like Raven were put in the paths of good men to test them. They were there to question their faith, and men like Jax were supposed to ignore the temptation that whispered off her lips—his faith should have been stronger, and maybe it was. Maybe his faith hadn’t been in a book written by a man or behind the walls in which an appointed man spoke the words of what he was to believe came from God.
Maybe Jax’s faith came from somewhere deep inside of him.
Something that was more powerful than anything tangible in this world.
It was what had him seeking her out in a crowded room, when they first met, desperate to know her name. It had been like a calling—she sang to some deep primitive part of him that recognized her before he even heard her speak. When he finally introduced himself and they touched for the first time, he felt a rightness settled over him. He thought he’d known peace before, but it wasn’t until she whispered her name to him that he truly knew the meaning of the word.
She brought chaos to his life, but every single time they were apart he felt hollow—a shell of himself—and when the world put them back together, everything clicked until he fucked it up again, but things were different now.
He would be different.
“Jax.” His name was a hoarse plea as she bit her bottom lip. The sounds of Benny’s had all but disappeared as Jax focused on her. It was just the two of them as he tried to peer into her mind to get a feel for what direction she might be swaying toward.
“We’ve tried this so many times before,” she shook her head before she slowly pulled out of his hold and put some distance between them in the booth. Jax ignored the hurt he felt at her pulling away from him.
“I’m still me. I still want the things I want. That hasn’t changed and one night at Lush isn’t going to change that for you either.” Jax went to speak but Raven shook her head, stopping him. “I know you told me about what happened when you were younger, and I need you to understand how happy that made me feel that you told me that. I’ve waited years for you to open up to me. You always said I was your safe space, but that was the first time I truly felt like that.”
Raven rubbed at that spot in between her brow again, wincing. “This damn headache,” she groaned before she looked up at him. Her skin had lost all its color, making her look sickly.
“Raven?” He reached for her, doing shit to hide his curse when his warm palm grabbed her icy arm.
Her body started to tremble. “I know we’re having a serious conversation, but I think I need to go to the hospital.”
