Page 17 of Sins of Seduction
“Don’t look so shocked.” Jax’s hand gripped hers against his thigh. He hooked his fingers into hers and brought her hand up to his lips, kissing the back of her hand.
“I was a teenager and long before I met you, I tried to suppress that memory and pretend like it didn’t happen.” He brought her hand back down against his thigh. “And then after I met you, you shook up everything I believed in and instead of embracing what you wanted to show me, I doubled down and ignored what I did when I was teen and the feelings you awoke inside of me.”
Raven wanted to keep quiet to give Jax space to tell the story in his own time. She searched her memory of any of the conversations they had in the ‘getting to know each other’ phase, wondering why this had never come up, especially considering how open and honest she was about her past.
The gasp slipped from her lips before she could stop herself. “Was this with Cruz?” She knew that the two had been friends since they were teens, and if he was the one he’d shared this intimacy with it, made a lot of sense why Cruz didn’t particularly like Raven.
Jax’s laughter filled the car, igniting warmth throughout her body. She loved his laughter the most. It was loud and commanding, just like the man himself.
“Oh no. I started hanging out with him way after this happened, and he doesn’t know about it either. This was a friend I knew since we were children, and I can’t remember now what started it or how it initially happened, but we had both been curious. We kissed and jerked each other off. He had given me head and wanted me to take his virginity.” Jax shrugged and spoke as if he was talking about the season changing, as if this was something that occurred naturally and all the time, but Raven saw the way he sat rigid in the driver’s seat and the white knuckle grip on the steering wheel. This was the internal war that raged inside of Jax for as long as she’d known him. Always torn between what he was taught and how he felt.
“We never physically had sex, and one night we were fooling around—this was going on for months—he blurted out that he was gay and that he wanted to be with me.” The laugh that left his lips this time was tinged with a bitter sadness. “I laughed in his face and told him I enjoyed pussy like a real man and called him a faggot. The argument between us was a little more colorful than what I’m telling you, but that was the last time I spoke to him.”
Jax turned down her block, slowly letting his foot off the gas. There was thankfully a parking spot in front of her home. Jax pulled in with ease, quickly cutting the engine off, but neither one of them made a move to get out. Raven felt glued to her seat, not daring to shift in any way for fear Jax would clam up. This felt like she was relearning who he was, and she wanted to take her time, soaking in all the tidbits that made up Jax Pierce.
“I regret being such a dick to him, you know? But he was a part of everything I feared about myself. You know what my upbringing was.” He shifted in his seat to face Raven and Raven didn’t hesitate to reach for his hands, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “I’m not gay, I never thought I was. I enjoy the taste of pussy too much to give it up, but I don’t think I’m bi either and I do enjoy sex a lot.” His lips pulled back into a predatory grin as he sized up Raven like a lamb being offered up to slaughter.
Raven felt her core pulse in time with her heart. Her body could never get enough of Jax. “Why do you need to label it?” she questioned, genuinely curious why Jax needed to put everything into its appropriate boxes. Humans were complex creatures, nothing was ever all black or all white. We were intricate pieces blended together to make us whole, there was no box that could truly fit.
Jax shrugged. “Old habits. All my life I’ve been told who I was, who I was supposed to be. You’ve been the only person to give me room to figure that out on my own.”
Jax felt like the weight he carried for most of his life had finally been lifted off of his shoulders. This was the first time he’d ever shared that part of his past with anybody, even when he sat in the confessional booths as a teen and young adult asking for forgiveness, he never uttered a single word about what he’d done with his best friend and how quickly he discarded their friendship when confronted by what Jax was. Carrying lies were like shackles strapped to his feet, and no matter how much he liked to pretend he wasn’t drowning, those lies had caused a rift inside of him, one he was hoping to finally repair.
A sinner will never know true peace. It only takes one dance with the devil to blacken the soul.
Jax tried to ignore the words his grandparents had preached to him. They’d been like a broken record every single time he stepped foot in Lush, and tonight had been no different. He ignored it for the most part, but now with his confessional out in the air, their voices had only seemed to grow louder, pulling him back into a place he worked hard to escape.
The feel of Raven’s skin against his own was the only thing that kept him from falling down the rabbit hole of self-deprecation. He didn’t want this to be a repeat of their—his past experiences—where he’d think he was okay with something and his upbringing would try to tell him otherwise. He wanted to embrace every part of himself, and he hoped he’d be able to do it with Raven by his side.
Danny stayed behind as the guests from Lush had started being allowed to leave. Danny should have snuck out when Raven did, knowing Jax would spend the night in her bed as if he had every right to be there, touching and tasting the temptation no one could say no to, but Danny wasn’t sure they’d be able to stand idly by while Raven fucked Jax again.
It was too soon to show Danny’s hand.
There was a delicious game to be played, one that would prolong the release Danny was after.
Raven could entertain Jax tonight, it was inevitable. Jax would stretch her greedy cunt, thinking he was branding her as his, but Raven was too wild to be tamed. Only a special hunter with the right rifle could pluck a pretty bird like her from the night sky.
Heat licked up Danny’s spine as images of Raven’s lush lips touched their skin. Danny ached to feel Raven’s pulse beneath their palm, beating rapidly as a sense of panic settled in and that exquisite moment when her body stopped fighting and her heart slowed till its final beat.
Pretty little Raven
Enjoy your freedom
It won’t be long now
Till you’re in my cage
Broken and tormented
My name, the last thing you’ll ever taste.
Jax can’t save you
And neither can these cops.
They’ll never understand
What it means
