Page 19 of Kiss of Death
“Oh, honey.” Mary chuckled. “I hope he’s not the reason you look weighed down. Otto is all class and business first. He is not going to give you the time of day.”
Ivy blushed under the knowing stare of Mary. She felt embarrassed that she’d been caught ogling their boss and by the fact that he had already crossed that line with her.
“Don’t invite me in, Ivy.”His words from last night rang loud in her mind. He told her not to invite him in, but it wasn’t because he was trying to keep the lines between them clear. He was trying to stop them from blurring any further. Ivy wondered if she didn’t have the shackles on her feet what would have happened if she had invited him in.
She couldn’t remember what it was like to actually be with a man she was into. She’d probably be able to go through the motions—those were easy enough to fake—she feared she’d just shut down and mentally check out like she was accustomed to. She wouldn’t know how to enjoy it, and with the connection that burned between her and Otto, she didn’t want to be anywhere else but right in the moment enjoying it.
“He’s attractive, but it’s not him that’s got me weighed down.” Ivy smiled. It wasn’t all him. “Just some family things going on.”
Mary gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. “He is hot, right?” She smiled at Ivy. “I am serious about wanting to talk. I know how lonely this life can get, and while some girls can be catty here, I think it’s good to have friends to share your woes with.”
Ivy pulled her gaze from Otto and looked at Mary. She had no idea why she was being nice to her, but it made Ivy want to spill her guts to this woman. Maybe she’d have the answers to her problems, and maybe Ivy wouldn’t have to go at this alone.
It was on the tip of her tongue to blurt everything out, but she swallowed the urge. “How old are you?” she asked. It was as random as it got, considering their conversation, but this was safe territory for Ivy, and it directed the conversation away from her.
Mary chuckled. “Why? Do I appear old and wise?” Ivy nodded, and it made Mary laugh more. “I get that a lot. I’m twenty-seven, but I’ve seen things at a young age that force you to grow up faster than you should.”
Ivy squeezed Mary’s hand, understanding the sentiment all too well. “Is that why you work here? I don’t mean to sound like I’m judging, but the few interactions I’ve had with you, this doesn’t seem like your scene.”
“Yes and no. This is quick and safe money. Otto and Gia treat me like family, and while I could probably do something else now, I actually enjoy it here. They took care of me when I was down on my luck.” She shrugged. “I stay as a way to take care of them.”
Ivy wanted to ask Mary more questions. She found herself liking this woman and wished they could be friends. But they couldn’t be friends. Once this job was over, Ivy wouldn’t see any of these people again. She had to learn to put her walls up; the less attachments she made, the better she would feel about what she had to do.
“Mary, Ivy.” The rough timber of Otto’s voice hit her in her chest first before traveling down her body, leaving goosebumps in its wake as if he had physically touched her. He seemed to suck all the air out of Tres, forcing her to breathe in only him. She completely forgot about Mary sitting next to her as she and Otto stared at each other.
Neither one of them said a word verbally, but there was that silent conversation again happening behind their eyes. They were saying things they dared not voice out loud because it would seem crazy to acknowledge the potency that flowed between them.
“This is like a bomb, and it can only go one way.” —Yeah, total destruction.
“Well, I’m going to go…” Mary coughed out a laugh, “...anywhere that’s not here.”
Ivy dropped her gaze to hide the smile on her lips. Mary gave her arm another tight squeeze as she hopped off of the barstool. Her lips were suddenly at Ivy’s ear. “Maybe I was wrong,” she whispered so only Ivy could hear it.
Mary passed Otto saying something to him under her breath. He shook his head, fighting a smile as he plopped down onto the barstool next to Ivy. His fingertips brushed against her elbow, and every nerve ending was instantly standing at attention. It was like his touch kept her body in a constant state of anticipation. She was becoming addicted to it. It was such a contrast from the state of anticipation she was accustomed too. While her captors had only caused her pain, Ivy was starting to associate Otto with pleasure, and that was dangerous for her well-being.
“How you feeling?” Otto’s words were low, and the way he said it she almost believed he truly cared.
“You could have asked me that while Mary was here.”
Otto shrugged. “She left on her own, but I’m glad she did. This way you don’t have to lie to me and tell me you’re fine.”
Ivy crossed her arms over her chest and scoffed. “And what if I am fine?”
Otto shifted in his seat so his body was angled toward hers. He grabbed her arms, undoing them so they fell to her lap and kept her hands in his.
Her breath was shaky as she looked down at their joined hands. She felt like a teenager again with her first crush. It paralyzed her with both fear and joy. She was going to destroy this, there was no way around it, but if she escaped this life, maybe there was hope for her yet.
“Ivy.” The way he said her name coupled with the intensity of his stare and the way his thumb caressed the inside of her palms made it harder to stay afloat. She felt the world around her start to melt away. It shouldn’t shock her at this point, but it still surprised her that he had the ability to keep her trapped in whatever was in the air around them that seemed to jack up the level of potency she felt for him.
Ivy knew from the outside this looked oddly intimate and she should care—the new girl with her hands intertwined with the boss probably wasn’t a good look—but this was going to be over long before she was ready to end it. She was going to need something to hold on to.
“Don’t lie to me,” he whispered, and for a second she thought he was talking about more than just how she was feeling. A sense of guilt ripped through her and she quickly withdrew her hands from his.
Ivy had no idea what was wrong with her. She’d done this enough times that she was able to keep her guilt and emotions in check. She never got attached to the people she fucked over; they were all a means to an end to get her and her sister free. But something was different now.
Maybe her guilt was finally catching up to her.
Maybe because there was so much at stake she was getting caught up in all of it instead of keeping her eye on the end goal.
