Page 72 of Knot Just Their Nanny
“So what now?”
His expression is earnest. “I’m not going anywhere if that’s what you’re asking. But we all need to be on the same page here.”
“I want to try,” I say finally, voice steady despite the tremor I feel inside. “But I’m scared this is too soon for you.”
“Me too,” Ben replies quietly.
“Which?” I ask, wrinkling up my nose in my confusion at his reply.
“Both.”
His admission sends a rush of relief through me. It’s not just me who’s scared. Henry and Liam seem so nonchalant about it, but inside I’m terrified.
“So, which part are you going to listen to?”
He searches my eyes for a long time. So long, in fact, that I think he’s going to tell me to get lost.
“I want to move forward,” he says eventually as I wring my hands with anxiety coursing through me. “But I can’t push the hurt aside. I was burned. Badly.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“And I don’t want to rush or mess things up,” he continues, his voice laced with vulnerability. “I like you, Zara. But I’ve got Mia to put first. I need to take this slow. Can we do that? Take it day by day?”
He’s standing so close now, and his honesty makes my heart ache in a way that feels both terrifying and exhilarating. I nod, getting him completely. The man’s been through enough to make anyone cautious, and the fact that he’s willing to try speaks volumes.
“Yes, we can take it slow,” I assure him, my voice stronger than I feel. “I want you to feel safe and comfortable with how things progress.”
Ben exhales a shaky breath and pulls me in for a hug. His arms around me are like a promise of safety, and I let myself melt into his embrace. It’s warm and secure – a sharp difference to the flurry of emotions that have been chasing each other around inside my head.
“Thank you, Zara,” he murmurs into my hair. “For understanding.”
We stay like that for what feels like an eternity, but it probably only lasts a few minutes. Eventually, we pull apart just enough to look at each other.
“But there is this thing that’s looming,” I murmur.
“I know,” he says and runs his hand through his hair again, a sign I’ve come to associate with him being nervous.
“What are we going to do about it? I can move out, go to a hotel?—”
“No!” he says vehemently. “You are not going to a hotel where any old fucker could break in and take advantage of you.”
Raising an eyebrow at the protective streak that came flying out of nowhere, I suppress my smile.
“You will stay here, and we will just have to see what happens,” he relents.
“Can you do that, though? If you submit to your alpha instincts, can you take me without being all in?” I have to ask. I have to because so much depends on his answer.
He frowns fiercely. “I’m all in, Zara. I just need?—”
I blink.
“Are you all in?” he asks, glaring at me.
“Yes. I’m all in. I adore Mia. I couldn’t love her more if she were my own child, and you… you’re more than any omega has a right to ask for.”
“Don’t say things like that,” he rasps. “I’m not ready to hear those things.”
“Tough, because you need to know your worth, Ben. She has torn your soul out, and you have lost faith in yourself. But I see you, and I’m going to be here every day making sure you know how much I care about you.” I reach up and cup his face.
