Page 45 of Knot Just Their Nanny
“Fuck.”
“Listen, Zara, words can be just as damaging, and this Eddie bloke has gotten into your head enough to shake you up like this.”
She exhales sharply, nodding in agreement. “You’re right. It’s just, I thought I’d left him and all that shit behind.”
“You have,” I reassure her, but my mind is racing with ways to ensure Eddie stays the hell away from her. “But now we need to make sure he’s got no way back in. You’ll need to get a new email account, and like it or not, you’re going to have to tell Ben about this.”
Zara grimaces at the thought, biting her lip with anxiety. “Is he going to be big mad?”
“Nah,” I lie, but she snorts as she can see straight through me. “Ben’s bark is worse than his bite, except when it comes to protecting his family. He’ll want to know so he can keep Miaand yousafe.”
She sighs deeply, tapping her fingers on the table. I watch as she seems to be mentally preparing herself for the conversation ahead with Ben.
“Yeah, you’re right. I need to tell him,” she finally says, her voice carrying a new layer of resolve. “I’ll tell him in the morning.”
“I’ll be here for you,” I add firmly. “If Eddie does show up here, he will realise pretty quickly that he made a big fucking mistake.”
Zara gives me a small smile and reaches out to cup my face. She leans forward and presses her forehead to mine, drawing my scent into her lungs. “Thank you, Liam,” she murmurs before she drops her mouth to mine, and gives me a soft, sweet kiss that fills me with a sudden rush of protectiveness. I’ve been trying to keep a lid on these feelings for Zara ever since she arrived. I’ve been trying not to push too hard even though I can’t get her out of my mind, but her lips on mine blow the damn thing right off. I deepen the kiss, and she mewls softly into my mouth.
Pulling back with every ounce of inner strength I have, I shake my head. “Not yet.”
“No,” she agrees. “Not yet.”
Chapter 26
Zara
Idraw back from Liam, my heart pounding. He stands up, and I watch him stride toward the kitchen, clearly needing to put some space between us. I don’t blame him. Our scents have filled the air, mingling nicely together, and it makes me want to follow him and kiss him again.
But I don’t.
First things first, I need to change my email address and make sure all my accounts are locked down tighter than Fort Knox. Then, come morning, I’ll have to sit Ben down and tell him everything.
I grab my phone and start the process of creating a new email account, picking something random and not at all connected to my name or previous addresses. Once that’s done, it’s a giant pain in the ass to get it connected to my phone as the other one gets wiped.
By the time I’m finished, the clock is ticking towards Mia’s feeding time, and I need to get my head down for a bit before I’m up again.
I trudge upstairs and collapse into bed, but sleep is elusive. My mind runs laps around Eddie’s message, the startling kiss with Liam, and the impending talk with Ben. How do you tellsomeone that an ex might be psycho enough to track you down? Something tells me ‘over tea and biscuits’ isn’t going to cut it.
Mia wakes before I can fall asleep, so I drag the throw blanket and my pillow off the bed and walk quietly into the nursery, putting the stuff on the chair before I pick her up and see to her needs. She is still hot, so when I settle her back down, I stay, pulling the chair up close and sticking my hand through the cot bars to keep my hand nearby. Curling up, I fall asleep quickly now, exhausted by this day that has thrown up too many variables for me to be comfortable with.
***
When morning comes, and Mia is rising, I’m stiff as a board, and my arm is still stuck through the cot bars. I remove my arm, smiling at Mia as she turns towards me before I stand and stretch.
“Hey, baby. How’re you feeling today?”
I gently press my hand to her forehead. She’s still hot but not as bad as yesterday. I grab the thermometer and check her. It’s 38.5 degrees, so bad, but coming down. That’s a plus.
As I potter about, changing and feeding her, I hear a noise coming from the back garden. Frowning, I settle Mia back in her cot and go to the window to stare out.
Ben is standing in the middle of the garden, staring at something in his hand. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t do anything.
Turning away, I check on Mia, who seems happy to be changed and fed and back in her cot, so I grab the baby monitor and clip it to my pj bottoms. Returning to my room for some flip flops, I make my way downstairs and to the kitchen. The back door is still open, and it’s a bit chilly. I wrap my arms around myself as I go out, pulling the door closed behind me. If he hears me, he doesn’t turn around.
Crossing over the damp grass, my feet get wet and cold, but I don’t care. Something is wrong.
“Ben?” I ask softly.
