Page 39 of Knot Just Their Nanny
My heart skips a beat. “Oh?” My voice sounds hoarse to my own ears, but Ben doesn’t notice.
“That’s not the worst part. I growled back at her.”
“Ohhh?” This just got interesting.
“It’s not like that,” he snaps, even though I’ve barely uttered a word. “I’m still mourning the loss of my mate. Ah, fuck this!” He rips at the collar of his shirt to reveal a red, angry-looking mating bite mark. “Shouldn’t this be over by now?” His desperation hits me hard in the chest.
“I don’t know, mate.” I pause. “Do you want her back? You know, if she came crawling back, would you take her?”
“No,” he spits out. “She is dead to me. If she even tries, I’ll fucking kill her.”
I try not to take that literally, but he’s made his point.
“Have you got rid of all her stuff?”
His head snaps to the side. “What do you mean?”
“All her shit. Is there still stuff in your room of hers? That won’t be helping you move past it, if her scent is still all around you.”
His face goes pale, and he clenches his jaw so tight, I think I hear his teeth crack. But it tells me all I need to know.
“Pack her shit up, and I’ll take it to the charity shop today.”
He unclenches and looks defeated. “Do you think that’s what’s holding me back? Why this bite won’t just fade?
I shrug and look at Mia because he is breaking my heart here. “I don’t have the answers. But you gotta try, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He doesn’t move; he just sits there like a lost man. I want to ask more about the purr and growl situation, but I can’t. Not now. No wonder Zara was in such a mess she smashed a door into her head. That must’ve confused the shit out of both of them.
“Go on. You can do it.”
“Yeah.” This time, he stands and stumbles towards the door. He pauses and looks back. “Burp her when you’re done. Hold her up to your shoulder and pat her back.”
“I know, I’ve seen you do it.”
“Thanks,” he mutters and walks out slowly, as if he’s walking towards the gallows. Maybe it does feel like that. This is the final step.
I focus on Mia, her tiny hands batting at the air as she finishes her bottle. She lets out a contented little sigh, eyelids drooping. “Right then, time for the grand finale,” I whisper and lift her to my shoulder, patting her back just like Ben said. A delicate burp escapes her, and I laugh quietly. “Good girl.”
I rise and place her carefully in her cot, hoping I’m doing it right. I’ll send Zara up in a bit to make sure. Assuming she’s all right with that massive bump on her head. This day has been pretty shit for everyone, it seems, and it’s not even five o’clock yet.
Ben’s departure hangs over me like a storm cloud. I know he’s hurting; that bite is more than a scar—it’s a reminder of everything he’s lost, but I’m willing to bet that once he clears out that bitch’s stuff, he’ll feel loads better.
Here’s hoping, anyway.
Chapter 23
Benjamin
Istand there for a second, gripping the doorframe like it’s the only thing keeping me upright. I’m not ready for this. I don’t think I’ll ever fucking be ready for this. But Liam’s right; there’s shit to be done.
Taking a deep breath that feels more like inhaling shards of glass, I trudge into the bedroom that used to be ours. Her scent lingers. There was a time when that fresh apple scent was my favourite smell in the world. Now, knowing I have to move forward once and for all, it’s like acid burning through my nostrils. I told myself I was keeping her stuff around for Mia’s sake, and while that was true, I also needed that. But it’s holding me back and making me suffer even more.
I hesitate at the wardrobe, then yank it open with more force than necessary. Some of her clothes still hang there, as if she might waltz in any minute, slip into one of her dresses, and smile at me in that way she used to before everything turned to crap.
Not anymore.
