Page 44 of The Queen
Making the decision that has been plaguing me for the last sixty long minutes, I stand up and close the laptop, striding over to the door and slipping out to knock softly on Eliza’s door next to mine.
“Yeah,” she calls out softly, which surprises me, seeing as the vulnerable position she is in. Mind you, I doubt anyone wishing to harm her would knock. Or get this close to her in the first fucking place.
Sweating with nerves, my hand slips on the door handle, but I push the door open quietly and stick my head in.
“Hey,” she mumbles sleepily. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing.” I’m about to back away because my nerves of steel, which have seen me through more fights than I can count, have suddenly pinged and snapped all over the fucking place.
But she’s looking at me with those all-knowing emerald eyes, half-lidded and concerned, and I know I’m not leaving this room without spilling what’s twisting my guts. Raking a hand through my hair, I falter again.
Her brow furrows, and she shifts slightly, careful not to wake Raphael, who is still out cold beside her. “Talk to me, Tarquin.”
I hesitate but then burst. “You love him.”
“And?”
“I love you.”
She presses her lips together, trying not to smile. “I love you too.”
“Do you?” It’s a soft demand as I fall to my knees next to her.
She narrows her eyes. “If you knew me well enough to say that you are in love with me, you should know that I don’t say those words. Or I didn’t before today.”
“I feel like an outsider when I see you with him.” I blurt out.
Her right eyebrow shoots up. “See me with him?”
My guts twist. I can’t confess to watching her without her consent. She will skin me alive. “Like this.” I indicate the two of them. “And my room is next door. Neither of you are quiet when you fuck.”
She snorts. “Sorry. We should have included you, but I guess we got swept up in the two of us. It’s okay, Tarquin. It can be that way sometimes.”
“Did you know him before you came here?” I ask this burning question.
Eliza props herself up on one elbow, the sheets slipping down to reveal the curves of her tits, but it’s not lust that grips me now—it’s a fierce longing for connection.
“We had a moment at my dad’s house,” she finally says. “I was a bit tipsy and horny, he was skulking and fucking hot. We fucked without knowing anything about each other.”
“Oh.” I wonder why he never told me. “So, you didn’t know who he was when you arrived here?”
She shakes her head. “Don’t forget, we have also had a hot, sweaty fuck, just the two of us.”
“I know, but that seems like a lifetime ago.”
“It was a few weeks,” she giggles. “I guess we need to talk about this with everyone.”
I cover her hand with mine, pressing it to my skin for a moment longer. “Yeah,” I murmur.
We sit in silence for a bit; the only sound is Raphael’s quiet breathing. At some point, his hand finds Eliza’s in the sheets, even in sleep, reaching for her. A part of me envies the ease of their connection, but another part is determined to carve out my own place in her heart.
“I’m worried about you,” I whisper after a few minutes.
“Why?” There’s no animosity, just a query.
“James and Oliver said you took out Lila and that you seem to fully trust Felix.”
“I did, and I do.”
