Page 54 of Dangerous King
"I shouldn't need him to," I whisper.
Izzy exhales. "No. You shouldn't."
We sit in silence for a beat. Shadow is asleep at my feet, belly full and legs twitching in some dream where he's probably king of the world.
"Did they hurt you?" she asks quietly. "The Giordanos?"
My hands knot into the belt again. "Not the way you're thinking."
She waits, and I appreciate the way she doesn't rush me.
"They didn't lock me in a basement or chain me to a wall." I shiver at the memory of the one time that happened, but I'm not ready to talk about that. "But I was still a prisoner with them. I was five when they took me." I look at her, pleading with my eyes for her to understand the fear of a little girl after being taken away from the only world she ever knew. It's funny how people say they can't remember much from when they were younger. I remember everything. I remember having a home and being loved and then… just being.
"I often thought about the Cinderella story," I meet her eyes again, "I pretended to be her, pretended that a fairy Godmother was out there somewhere and would appear one day."
I see the pity in her eyes and straighten a bit. "It wasn't all bad. I joined Camilla and her private tutors. She hated me for being smarter than her, getting better grades." Here I grinned, because I did like that feeling. Even though she paid me back in spades with the ugliest hand-me-downs she could think of and belittled me when her friends were around. But she would have done that either way.
"I had internet access; they screened what I did, but I had it. I had a tablet and a computer. I was allowed to talk to my family."
"Still," Izzy sighs and then a small smile glints in her eyes, "I never liked Camilla; she's always been a brat."
We both giggle a bit in commiseration. Izzy sobers. She takes my hand and holds it up, looking pointedly at the missing finger. I sigh. I suppose I owe her an explanation. "Giovanni did this a long time ago, to remind my father to stay in line."
Izzy shakes her head. "Oh, Cat. I'm so sorry for what you went through."
"It's okay." I smile at her. "It's all good now. And it doesn't even hurt anymore."
At that, Izzy let out a small giggle, shaking her head. "When you're ready, I'm ready to listen."
I nod. "When I'm ready, I promise to tell you everything."
"Okay," Izzy nods and changes the subject. "You miss your family."
"I barely know them anymore," I reply honestly. Because for the first time in my life, I feel like I don't need to watch what and how I say things. I don't think I would be able to hold back much anyway, as bitterness rises in me. "I know the versions of them I could see in video calls. The filtered smiles. The careful words. But I haven't had a real conversation with my family in fourteen years."
Izzy's brow furrows. "That's... cruel."
I shrug, but it's stiff. "Yeah." What else is there to say?
"But now you're free." Izzy points out with a dazzling smile.
I want to believe that. I do. But freedom still feels like borrowed space. Like something I'll have to give back the second I breathe too loud.
A knock on the door startles us. "Ten minutes," Enrico's voice calls from the other side. "You ready?"
Izzy rises and answers before I can. "She will be."
When the footsteps move off down the hall, she turns to me and says, "We're going to get you dressed. You're going to walk in there like a queen. And if Roberto so much as breathes wrong in your direction, I'll shoot him or tell Enrico to."
I laugh, truly, this time, because, God help me, I believe her. "You're not carrying a gun."
"You think I'm not?"
She tosses me an encouraging smile. "You got this, Cat."
I take one last deep breath and whisper, "Let's hope so."
The stairs feel longer than they should. My legs are steady, but my stomach twists tighter with every step. I left Shadow with Izzy, but now I wish I'd brought him with me. His presence would be soothing.
