Is it better to keep it locked away in some rusted box, untouched…
Or to open it?
To relive it. Remember it. Try to heal from it?
Because as much as I wished I didn’t recall every time Bruce ripped open a piece of my flesh, I could still feel it.
As if it were happening all over again.
And maybe that’s why the mind blocks it out.
Not to forget.
But to keep victims alive.
“How did I get here?”
“Ben,” Jaxson said with a quiet huff. “I guess he wasn’t letting his sister go that easily.”
He was trying to make light of it. I just wasn’t sure if it was for my benefit or his.
“Ben knows a guy or two,” he continued. “When everything broke out, he’d already called in an ops team for extraction.”
Ops team?
“How connected is he?”
Jaxson didn’t answer right away. “We all have our pasts,” he said finally. “You know that. And I told you about your mother.”
His voice dipped slightly.
The last time he’d brought that up, I’d kicked him out.
Right before Bruce took me. And I doubted he ever thought he’d get the chance to tell me more.
I tried to move my fingers—to squeeze his hand. A tiny gesture, but even that didn’t work. Still, he must’ve noticed, because he kept going.
“I run a team of specialized individuals,” he said softly. “People trained to extract targets from bad situations. With one call or text, it doesn’t take long for someone to show up. That day… I wasn’t thinking ahead. I was too focused on you. And I’ll be in Ben’s debt forever for what he did. He saved you by doing what I couldn’t.”
“Well,” I rasped, my voice dry but teasing, “he is my brother.”
That earned a full-blown laugh from Jaxson, and God, did he look good when he laughed.
I tried to join him, but pain shot through my side so sharply it stole the breath from my lungs. Yeah… I didn’t have that same luxury.
“It took about six hours to get you here. After your surgery, you just wouldn’t wake up. You were in a coma for four days. Those were the longest days of my life.”
“I’m not sorry.” And I wasn’t. I’d choose my life over his a million times. I was the reason everyone’s life was at risk that day. I hadn’t asked them to come save me. I was grateful they did, but I’d accepted my fate. If honoring my last name meant dying for the innocent children in that van. I’d do it all over again.
“Savannah, I—”
“Jaxson,” I said as I tried to sit up, but failed. I took a deep breath, once again not letting him see the agony I was truly in. “Bruce was my problem, not yours. My entire life has been built on lies.” The words became harder to say, my throat feeling like it was closing the more I talked. “Nearly every dollar I have to my name was gained at the loss of an innocent life.”
“No, it wasn’t. Most of it was on drugs. Your father ran a clean operation. Well, as clean as a drug lord could run.”
“It’s still dirty.”
“It is. But only the past few years have been Bruce’s operation. You need to know that your father tried to stop him. Your mother had cost Bruce millions over the years, and he’s the reason they lost their lives.”