Page 71 of Stella
Me
Please let me in
I dismount my motorcycle and run both my palms over my jeans.
Stella
No
Me
Don’t make me shimmy up the drainpipe
My attempt at humor is pathetic, but I have to see her. I want to tell her that it isn’t her. It’s never her. It’s me. She’s too fucking perfect, and she needs to live her life and not get involved with a cop who’s at constant loggerheads with her club. I can’t fucking do that to her. It wouldn’t be fair.
Me
I’m about to climb… if I break my neck, you’ll have to break the news to Calli
Stella
Is Calli with you?
Nope. She’s at home, fast asleep.
Me
If I say yes will you open the door?
Stella
She isn’t then. Pity
Me
Starting the climb…
I hear movement behind the door and I smile to myself. She may slam the door in my face. She will probably not even open the door. She might even yell. But I’m okay with any and all of that.
“Stella,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
“Did you come all the way over here just to say that?” She sounds exasperated through the door. And I get how she feels, because I’ve made her this way, and that doesn’t sit well with me.
“I did, and more. Let me in, please.”
“Why should I? You can say what you need to through the door; it’s safer that way.”
I run a hand over my face. This isn’t going as planned. “No it isn’t. I want to look you in the eyes and explain myself.”
She laughs without humor. “So you can reject me all over again, but in person this time?”
I rest my head on the door. “It isn’t like that. I feel bad about all of it.”
“Well, at least you can admit it,” she huffs. “But if you don’t mind, I have to go and paint my nails and then watch them dry.”
“Don’t be like this,” I start, knowing she’ll get riled, but maybe her getting mad might make her open the door. Not that I want to test that theory. “I’m a dick, I fully admit that. But I can’t do this through a door. You deserve an explanation.”
“Five minutes.” She sounds really fucking annoyed. “And I’m only doing that because I like your dog. Not you.”
