Page 69 of Stella
My core throbs at the very idea of his head between my legs and how that stubble would feel. Of him tasting me. His mouth and hands all over my body, just like he did to me on my kitchen counter.
All I see when I look at him now is what could’ve been. I won’t admit it out loud, but my heart is a little shattered that he got what he wanted — well not really, we didn’t have sex — and then ghosted me. Was this all a ploy? And if so, for what? Cale isn’t that kind of guy.
But I can’t hide the fact I’m pissed. I shovel popcorn into my mouth as I glare at him. He’s just sitting there, having an awesome time with his friends; laughing and joking, like he hasn’t got a care in the world about anything, much less me.Asshole.
Does he really think if he stays away from me that it’ll be as if nothing even happened between us? Can he so easily justforget about me and what we did? And if so, why was he being all overbearing about making sure I was safe?Lock your doors behind me, Stella.
All of those questions have been rolling around in my head, and I can’t make sense of them.
I try to concentrate on the game, but I can’t, and when Manny nudges me in the ribs, I tear my gaze away from Cale to look at him. “Not hung up on CC, huh?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s pretty hard to try and forget about him when he just keeps showing up.”
He gives me a sympathetic look. “Chin up, remember? No queen is allowed to come out with me and look glum. Screw him. You’re wonderful, and you look super hot.”
It’s also impossible to be sad with Manny around. He’s not only good company, but he perks me up a lot. “I can’t help it if he looks completely fucking sexy without even trying.”
“I get you’ve got it bad, but if he sees you having a good time, he might just think about what he’s missing out on.”
I shake my head. “I can’t win with you. One second you’re saying go for it, the next I need to consider the consequences, now we’re back to making him jealous.”
He shrugs. “I kinda forgot how smoking hot he is.”
“Yeah, like that helps,” I grumble. “He’d look good in a paper bag.”
As if by magic, when I tilt my head to look back at him, his eyes meet mine.
Oh, holy fuck.
Were they always this blue? I think so, but they look extra blue tonight, and fucking perfect, just like everything else about him.
Despite what Manny says about keeping my distance, I can’t stop thinking about him, and yes, I’m mad that he hasn’t made any moves. It’s like I don’t even fucking exist. I steel my jaw,narrow my eyes ever so slightly so he can see I’m glowering, and then I look away. I don’t acknowledge him, because acknowledging him would mean we’re okay. And we’re definitelynotokay.
He can go take a flying leap into the bayou, cute outfit and all.
I can feel his eyes on me as I try to concentrate on the game. Occasionally, I’ll laugh at something Manny says, and while a part of me wants him to come over here and say something, another part of me just wants to forget it ever happened and dump my popcorn on his head. But it would be a shame to waste my popcorn on him.
Cale will never be mine. He’s not emotionally available, or physically for that matter. How did I ever think this was going to be a good idea? Maybe this is what it looks like with rose-tinted glasses on. Here I was thinking I was so grown up and ready for something more than just a hookup, and it’s all in my head. What an idiot.
“You good?” Manny asks me
I nod. “Yup.” Lies. All of it.
I’ll never begoodwhen it comes to Cale. I’ll never get over how he touched me and how he felt under my palms. How he smelled so delicious and devoured me not just with his eyes, but his hands and mouth, too. But maybe that’s where I’m falling short. Maybe that’s all it was: a makeout session and a reason for him to pull back. I gave him a great opportunity to do just that, and now I’m paying the price.
If people want to be in your life, then they will make the effort. I shouldn’t have to convince him of anything, and that’s what hurts the most. I’m not asking the guy to marry me, for Pete’s sake. Yet, he’s somehow acting like I am. And I’m the one who’stoo young?
He has to be fucking joking. And now I’m getting mad. I’m not exactly known for my cool temperament, but I’ve beentowing the line since joining the MC. Maybe now is the time to show Cale just exactly how spicy us Creole girls can get. Not that I think he can handle that, he can’t. So I take the high road and ignore him for the rest of the game, pretending like we’re strangers. My heart doesn’t like it one little bit, but my head is giving me a pat on the back. My sanity? Oh, who fucking knows anymore.
Two out of three ain’t bad.
16
CALE
I thoughtI could do it. I actually thought I could stay away from this woman. Seeing her tonight brought it all back.
What kind of idiot am I? As if I’m not going to run into her at some point. This may be a city but it’s still a small place in the circles we run.
