Page 54 of Wicked Lies Grow Wildflowers
The last few weeks have been good for us. We’ve spent a lot of time working on ourselves, both independently and together. I started seeing a therapist to deal with my mommy trauma, and she’s given me a lot of good advice for moving on from grief. I’ve been coping well with my mother’s death thanks to her. It’s weird to mourn your abuser, but she told me it’s completely normal, we have innate connections to our parents that are hard to break even when we want to, even when they should be broken. I’ll always remember the emotional and physical trauma, but I’m getting through it with PTSD coaching during my sessions. I feel less triggered and weighed down each day.
Someday, her memory will be a whisper on the wind, and everything she put me through will no longer hurt. The bonds around my mind will all be broken and I’ll be free, permanently and forever.
Xander’s been a pillar of support and so has Sage. I ended up telling her the truth of everything and she briefly wanted to throttle me for keeping her in the dark but, ultimately, she understood. Then we were a heap of tears as I apologized for hiding so much from her and she forgave me. It was my mess, my life, and probably not in the best interest of her own safety to disclose everything to her as it was happening. She wanted to de-limb Xander for all he put me through, but I talked her down, reminding her that hedidsave my life at the end of it all. That little fact is the only thing keeping him safe from her wrath right now, she’ll come around though.
Xander and I have had a lot of long talks discussing the future together. Our values and our goals. I told him I’d like the murder for hire thing to stop and he agreed to start slowing down the amount of jobs he takes. I know he carries a lot of darkness inside of him and he has an appetite for killing, it’s not that fact which bothers me, it’s knowing that each hit could be his last. Each time he leaves the door for one he might never walk back through it, and I couldn’t imagine that. I couldn’t imagine never hearing the rumble of his voice or how it feels to be held by him. How it feels to be loved by him. I don’t think I could survive it.
I can feel the car slowing to a stop and sit up straighter in my seat, excitement taking hold. “I thought you fell asleep for a second there,” Xander says as he shuts off the ignition.
“No, just lost in my head,” I tell him.
“Good or bad?” he asks, concern etched in his words.
“Good, mostly good.” He doesn’t need to worry so much anymore, but I know he can’t help it. “Now, what’s this surprise you have to show me? Better be a grand reveal after all this,” I joke as Xander exits the car and opens my door, taking my arm and helping me out into the chilly air.
“Just a little further,” his voice is warm as he leads me forward. “Watch your step, there are two stairs here.” I carefully pick up my feet and maneuver the steps before we come to a halt. I hear keys rattling and then the sound of a door unlocking.
Xander places a gentle hand on my lower back and guides me forward and I hear the door shut behind us. I have no idea where we are or what the surprise could possibly be. “Are you ready?”
“Yes! Hurry!” I’m so antsy I can’t wait. Xander’s hands fiddle with the tie of the blindfold and as he tears it away from my eyes he beams, “Welcome home.”
I can’t believe what I’m seeing as I smooth out my wind-blown hair. I turn in a circle, taking in the large foyer, open living space, high ceilings. I almost fall to my knees in shock. “Oh. My. God. Are you serious?!” A hand cups my mouth as I start to cry, so overwhelmed with emotion. This is the house.Thehouse.
“I’m so fucking serious Wildflower. This isourhome. For our life together.” Xander removes a hand from one of his pockets and bites back a shit eating grin as he reaches for me. I take his hand in mine as we walk through the home together.
“Xander, I can't believe it. Before I showed this house, before I found out it wasyouwho was my client, I walked through these walls and wished I lived here. I wished it were mine to call home, and I was so fucking jealous of whoever got to live here before and whoever was going to be in it next. I could only have dreamed of owning a home as beautiful as this. Are you sure I’m not dreaming?” I swipe my tears away as I gaze up as Xander, still not believing any of this is real.
“I’m sure, Wildflower. And you can decorate it however you want. Let me show you the best part. I know you’ve seen it all before, but I actually have this room set up.” He quickens his pace and turns us towards the primary bedroom, rushing us inside where I see a plush king size bed adorned with a dark duvet, a stark contrast to the white loveseat against the floor toceiling windows, covered tastefully with matching dark curtains. The space is beautiful with antique art on the walls and a colorful Persian rug taking up half of the floor space.
“Wow, you did all this yourself?” I ask, surprised at the design compared to how cold and official Xander keeps his condo.
“I may have hired an interior designer to help,” he blushes and scratches the back of his neck.
“It’s wonderful, truly.” I slip out of my coat and kick off my shoes, dropping my purse on the floor before running full force to the king size bed, jumping and landing splayed out face down on top of it. I nuzzle my face into the fabric of the duvet and groan, “Oh my God, it’s so soft.”
I flip over and prop myself up on my elbows, watching as Xander approaches me, sans shoes and jacket. He grabs my ankle and pulls me across the bed to him, the mattress dipping as he climbs onto it and straddles me. My skin buzzes with the contact and he leans down to whisper, “Let me show you why this room is my favorite.”
Xander palms my neck and forces me back down, pressing my body into the mattress with his weight before capturing my lips in a deep and hungry kiss. I moan into him as his tongue seeks entrance into my mouth, and I eagerly open, happy to taste him. Our tongues swirl together as he fists my hair, arching my neck back and moving away from my mouth to kiss along my jaw.
He’s hard and his erection is grinding into the juncture of my thighs as he moves against me. The friction is driving me to delirium already and I can feel how ready I am for him. “Xander, please. I need you,” I gasp out, not wanting this torture prolonged. I want him inside of me right now.
My hands claw at his shirt, and he releases me to pull it over his head before grabbing my own sweater and yanking itoff of me. His hooded eyes rake over my chest before he reaches around my back to unclasp my bra, my breasts falling freely. He delves down and takes one in his mouth. I let out a gasp when he gently bites and tugs, my hips bucking up, seeking any sort of friction to give me release.
My voice is breathy when I moan out his name, “Xander, I need you, now.” He looks up at me through his lashes and releases my breast before moving down my body and slipping my leggings off, pushing his own pants down his thighs next.
Xander climbs back over me, both of us now bare, and finds my mouth with his as I rotate our bodies so I’m on top. I keep our lips locked and tongues swirling as I grab hold of his shaft, pumping it several times before running the head up and down my wet seam. Xander bites my bottom lip and curses, “Fuck Maeren, keep teasing me and I won’t last long.” I take that as my warning to hurry up if I want to remain in control, so I line myself up and slowly sink down, taking Xander inside of me inch by inch, slowly and tortuously. I moan out as I stretch around him, enjoying the how smoothly I slide down his shaft.
When I’m fully seated upon him, I break our kiss, sitting up and locking my eyes on his as I lift myself a few inches and drop back down. I roll my hips with each movement. Xander palms both of my breasts, tweaking my nipples with his calloused fingertips as I ride him. “Fuck baby, just like that. Your pussy feels so good.”
My face heats at the praise and wetness drips down my thighs, the sounds of our flesh meeting and breathless moans filling the room.
Using my arms to grab Xander by the shoulders and pull him up so we are face to face, I pick up my pace as our foreheads touch and work my hips faster, feeling the telltale signs of an orgasm approaching. I snake a hand down to my clit, rubbing the sensitive bud faster and faster as I chase my orgasm. “Fuck,Xander, I’m coming.” I throw all the force I have into the last few rolls of my hips as my body tenses and my vision goes black.
Xander continues to pump up into me for several more seconds, chasing his own release before he lets out a long groan and slows, his cock pulsing inside of me, filling me. My body turns to jelly as I slump against him and we lie there together for a few moments, catching our breath.
Xander swipes a palm over my back in lazy caresses until I begrudgingly peel myself off of him. “Let’s test out this new shower, shall we?”
I bite my lip before spinning around and running into the bathroom, turning on the water in the walk in shower. The best part? There’s a bench seat.
