Page 39 of Wicked Lies Grow Wildflowers
I’m trying not to combust into tears with my nerves right now. It shouldn’t be this hard to broach this topic and finally have the conversation but it is. Because a label makes this real. Official. I look away but Xander captures my chin and turns my gaze to his.
“What are you Maeren?” he questions again, eyes boring into me. “What are you,to me?”
My eyes dart back and forth between his and I steel myself for potential rejection, which is absurd, I know. “Are we… together? Officially?”
His eyes dip to my lips. “I thought that was quite obvious by now.”
“So… I’m your girlfriend.” I swallow, never having said that out loud to anyone before. Never having carried that role because I’ve never allowed myself to.
Xander makes a satisfied sound at my answer. “More than that. You’re mine, yes; my girlfriend, of course, but you’re also my everything. You’re my forever. There will never be a way out for you. It’s me and you together as long as we walk this earth. Even when our bones have turned to dust I’ll still find my way back to you.”
All I can manage to vocalize is a small whimper, feeling like my soul has been ripped open to make room for Xander, and then stitched back up with him inside. Fused with me. Forever. He threads his hands through the hair at the nape of my neckand rolls over me, claiming my mouth in a kiss, and prying my lips apart with his tongue.
My body is sore from last night, but he makes love to me passionately and intentionally, and with so much dedication. It makes my throat tight, and I can’t help but cry, overcome with so much emotion, feeling so fucking wanted.
“Let’s go to dinner,”I say, fully sated.
“Whatever makes you happy, Wildflower. If you want to celebrate, we will celebrate.”
“Yes, get up, get dressed. Oh shoot, you don’t have any clean clothes here,” I realize.
“It’s fine, we can run by my place,” he offers.
“Okay, cool. Let me just shower and get ready. Give me like thirty and we can head out?” I try not to show my surprise and excitement at finally getting to see where Xander lives.
“You’re delusional if you think you're going to be showering without me.”
He follows me to my bathroom and spends his time diligently washing my hair, combing out the tangles, and kissing all over my body as he scrubs me clean. His personality is so polarizing. He’s able to be so tender and soft while also feeling so intimidating and serious. But I have a feeling I’m the only person who ever sees this soft side, and that’s incredibly pleasing.
I dress in jeans, boots, and a long sweater, not sure where we’ll end up. I blow out my hair and apply a little makeup while Xander waits for me on the couch. When I walk out to the living room he looks up from his phone and flashes me a smile. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I grin. “Now let's go celebrate you,boyfriend.” The new titles are making me so giddy.I love it.
The drive through town feels like it takes forever, but in reality we make it to Xander’s in thirty minutes. He lives in a gated condominium complex; it’s definitely not anything I could afford. He pulls into a parking space and runs around the car to open the door and escort me inside. His place is a two-bedroom, small like my own apartment but incredibly nice. My eyes rove over his space, and it clearly screamsa man lives here.It’s all fundamental: no decor, no personality, just bare bones. But hey, he has an actual sofa and table, so that’s saying something.
“My room’s this way. I’ll just be a minute,” he says as he walks down the hall.
I take his absence as an opportunity to snoop and open the second bedroom, seeing an office space with a bunch of tech that I can’t identify and a large desk with a sleek laptop and three monitors. Makes sense that he needs so many screens with building websites all day long.
I close the door and cross to his room, noting the dark bedding and clean surfaces while admiring his muscular back as he pulls a fresh black sweater on.
He runs a hand through his hair and turns to face me. “Ready. Let’s go.” He closes the door shut behind him and then locks up on the way out.
“Do you have anything specific in mind for dinner? I don’t know what you’re in the mood for.”
“Italian? It’s my favorite. We can go to the same place I took you the first time we went to dinner, if you’d like,” he suggests.
“Yeah, that sounds perfect.”
Xander puts the car in drive and I decide to talk about his place in an effort to get more information out of him, my curiosity still strong. We never talk about him as much as we talk about me.
“Your place is super nice.”
“Thanks, I’ve been there for a few years now. It serves its purpose.”
“How come you’ve never brought me over before?” I ask, hoping he doesn’t take offense to another inquiry.
“No real reason. There’s just not much here, it feels really impersonal, and I like your place,” he offers.
