Page 37 of Wicked Lies Grow Wildflowers
It takes a couple minutes for a response to come in.
Xander: No, not at all. My place isn’t as cozy as yours, it’s cramped, and full of work shit. You’ve got nothing to worry about.
I breathe a sigh of relief, choosing to take him at his word. Not everyone is a liar, not everyone is out to hurt me.
Me: Well good, because if there were someone else I might just have to kill them.
A winky face ends the message and I smile to myself, happy that this hasn’t gotten awkward.
Xander: There will never be anyone else, Maeren. I told you, you’re mine.
Tears burn my eyes at his admission. He could tell me that I’m his a million times and it would still feel like an impossible dream. Sage aside, having someone care about me like this is such a one-eighty and a little overwhelming. I don’t know when I’ll get used to it, and honestly, I’m afraid to.
Biting at my nails I repeatedly read over the text to make sure it won’t disappear on me.You’re mine, you’re mine, you’re mine.I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that, feeling like I have a place with someone else, like I truly belong.
Me: I’m yours.
I type and hit send, trying to reel in my emotions and get it together. It’s not a marriage proposal, but it feels nearly as significant.
Pullingmy ponytail high up on my head, I attempt to keep my purse from flying off my shoulder. I was late leaving the house and now I’m fumbling through the parking lot of Land of Lakes Realty, hoping to God no one is looking out of an office window right now. I’m usually not such a mess, but I can’t calm my nerves or my racing heart today. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that third cup of coffee.
I finally make it out of the cold wind and wipe the flyaways from my face. Throwing my bag onto my desk, I plop down into my chair and let out a huge sigh.
“Rough morning?” My cubicle neighbor Jess asks, popping a hip out and fluffing her hair with a perfectly manicured hand.
“Something like that,” I sigh as I straighten my top and unpack my belongings. We get along well enough, but I think she can sense my desire to be left alone.
“Donuts in the break office,” she says before walking off to flirt with one of our male coworkers.
I’ve never been much for workplace socialization, but I enjoy watching people interact. I’m really glad to be in the office today so I can do just that and refrain from texting Xander to ask what we are. I need a name for this. Are we dating officially? Are we just exclusive friends with benefits? Do people my age just not clearly identify their relationship status with the question ofWill you be my boyfriend?I feel like I won’t be able to relax until we have a label, as silly as that is.
Once again I spend the day making phone calls and scheduling home tours. Soon enough it’s five in the evening and everyone is packing up for the day. I close my laptop, happy at how much I’ve gotten done and how productive I feel. I say some quick goodbyes before digging my keys out of my bag and crossing the parking lot to my car. The sun has sunk low on the horizon, making the bite in the air more brutal.
When I get to my car and try to unlock it, nothing happens. I click my key fob over and over, thinking maybe the battery in it’s gone bad. I use my backup key to manually unlock the door before chucking my purse to the passenger seat. Turning my key over in the ignition, my engine tries, and fails, to turn over.Fuck me. I give it a few more attempts, my car stuttering for a second each time before giving up. My lights won’t even turn on.
Great. My fucking battery is dead. Just my luck.
I slam myself back against the seat, slapping my steering wheel in irritation. Digging through my bag, I find my phone and think through my options. Sage or Xander. My finger hovers over Xander’s name for just a second before making my choice. The call rings through a few times before his husky voice picks up.
“Hey, Maeren.”
“Um, hey. I hate to bother you, so don’t worry if you can’t, but my car is dead and I’m stuck at work. But if you’re busyI understand, don’t feel obligated. I can call Sage instead.” So much word vomit, Maeren.
“Oh shit, I can leave now. Land of Lakes Realty on Maple Street, right?”
“Yes. Thank you so much.” My voice is full of relief knowing I won’t have to wait long.
“I’ll be there in fifteen. See you soon.”
Leaning my seat back, I relax in the empty parking lot, waiting for the sound of Xander pulling up.
Click Click Click Click—the noise has me blinking my eyes open, suddenly startled. I look around the empty lot, noting the dark office and not seeing anyone. Weird, it sounded just like a camera.
No, Maeren, you’re just being paranoid because you’re alone in a dead car, inside of an empty parking lot with little light. It’s only your imagination.
I’m so paranoid all the time now, maybe I should start going to therapy again. It’s probably a combo of so much change in my life and knowing the last threads tying me to my mother are about to be severed by my own hands.
Regardless, I stay watchful until the rev of Xander’s engine comes purring up next to me. I grin at him as he hops out and rounds the car to his trunk, retrieving a pair of jumper cables. I pop my hood before getting out of my car to join him as he finishes connecting the cables. He grabs my hips and pulls me against him before leaning in to kiss me. I oblige him for a moment before he pulls away and says, “Hey, baby.”
