Page 50 of A Certain Step
She felt like she was an having out-of-body experience. She was miraculously fine on the surface, but inside, her heart, mind, and body wrestled in a chaotic match set to destroy each other.He’s the love of my life,her heart clamored.Shut up,her mind argued.I need him,her body cried. They were throwing calculated volleys at each other constantly, and she couldn’t stop any of them.
We’ve discussed this.
Don’t go there.
Don’t ruin this one good thing.
He. Is. An. Actor.
I trust him.
I love him.
It’s against every rule you’ve set up to succeed in this industry.
It’s too risky.
He. Is. Your. Best. Friend.
Her mind was getting louder, logic attempting to bolt the other two back into the cage where they belonged.
She should call her mum and tell her she was about to go on as Elizabeth.Yes, that’d be a good distraction.She picked up the phone to ring her, but the line on the other end went to voicemail. The woman would pick up any phone call ever, but the one time Willa needed to talk to her.
The universe was determined to draw out her torturous emotions and make her anxiety much worse until she finally got off that stage, day one in Elizabeth Bennet’s shoes behind her.
Her phone vibrated as she was about to set it down. She looked at it, realizing she was being a bit overdramatic because her mother called her right back.
“Hi, Mum,” she answered.
Her mother sounded tired.Had she been asleep?“Hi, love. I was having a nap; I caught something a few days ago,” she added.
Willa’s face fell. “Oh, no. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m all right, yeah, don’t worry. Just a little cold. How are you?”
Willa sat down on her chair and started spinning in it. “I’m good, but I’m going on as Elizabeth today, and I’m quite nervous. I really didn’t think it’d happen, but the Driver sisters had a family emergency, so they’re both out right now.”
Her mother squealed on the other end of the line, every bit of her energy seemingly returning. “Oh, Willa! I’m so thrilled for you. I hope the girls are okay, but this made my whole month. Maybe my whole year. My girl is going on in a lead Broadway role!”
“Thanks, Mum!”
“But go on, love, why are you nervous?”
Willa took a deep breath, got out of the chair, looked around to ensure the hallway was empty, and then closed the door for extra measure. “Because it means I’ll be kissing Ethan, and I’ve got feelings for him that go beyond our friendship.”
“Ha!” she declared a little too loudly.
Willa perked up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I knew you had feelings for that boy from the moment you started talking about him, Willa. I raised you, remember?”
“And what on earth did I say to make you think that?”
She let out a small laugh. “Mother’s intuition. It’s not what you say, but it’s how you say it. You light up every time you talk about him, and as much as your dad and I raised you to be a loving person, you don’t talk about anyone else the way you do about Ethan. It’s different.”
Willa pursed her lips. “And you didn’t think of voicing your opinions to me?”
“No, because you’re a grown adult, and despite what my generation might believe about meddling, it’s up to you to come to these realizations onyour own. When have I ever interfered in your love life? Or your brother’s?”
