Page 33 of A Certain Step
Sahar shrugged. “That you’re human?”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
Willa turned back to Ethan, the crease between his eyebrows far more pronounced than she’d seen before. He was tense and rigid. Had Alden’s presence riled him this much? Fury had made its way back into his eyes with full force, making her feel guilty.
She wrapped her fingers along his forearm, drawing his eyes from throwing daggers at her ex to where she touched him. He blinked once, twice, refocusing to meet her at eye level.
She didn’t say anything. He remained silent.
The conversations around them distorted to muffles, the bass growing louder. “Are you okay?” Willa asked.
Ethan nodded. “Promise me thatyouare,” he emphasized.
“I am. I really am.”
She released her hand. He drew closer to her ear, whispering, “Be right back.”
She watched him stride away toward where she assumed were the toilets. God, Alden was the world’s biggest buzzkill.
She shuddered out of her unpleasant thoughts, returning her attention to the banter occurring beside her. She needed to refocus. She had therapy tomorrow and could discuss all of this with Marie if she still needed to.
10
ETHAN
The bathroom was too small, and the growing anger ballooning inside him made it worse. It was suffocating. He wanted to go back outside, into the fresh air, away from the loud music, but he knew that if he stepped out, Willa would follow, guilt sauntering right behind her. This way, he could pretend like he was fine. Nature called.
Nothing more serious.
Except it was.
Ethan could tell that Willa was hiding portions of the truth from him—details that he knew she didn’t owe him but ones he couldn’t help but care about. It also riled him up to witness her dumbass ex’s audacity, his inability to take a hint and understand the difference between diplomacy and interest. He momentarily contemplated punching the obnoxiously veneered teeth out of Alden’s mouth.
He knew she could take care of herself; she didn’t need him, yet he couldn’t help but worry. He wanted to wrap his arms around Willa’s waist and steal kisses from her all night. He wanted to show her off and let men like her ex know that she was off limits.
Except the only person she was off limits to was to him.
The closer he and Willa got, the harder it became to deny the reality of his feelings. Ethan had never felt this way about anyone before, never wanted someone as much as he wanted her. He never needed someone so desperately in a crowded room. Their connection was deeper than anything he thought existed, despite having family and friends who’d been happily and irrevocably in love before. The intensity of his emotions was unfathomable and staggering.
He wasn’t sure she’d ever feel the same way, and he loathed the thought that he could potentially push her away because he wanted something more than a friendship.
Far more times than he would’ve liked, he’d heard her say that she wasn’t interested in dating actors, noting that all her exes had indeed been men in entirely different fields—a lawyer, a teacher, a big-city architect. Despite what letdowns they’d been, Willa had shown no desire to reconsider her rule.
Ethan took a deep, painful breath and released a forceful exhale. Everything was too overwhelming. Thank goodness no one had entered the bathroom after him. The heaviness in his chest wouldn’t subside. It took everything in him not to profess his true feelings every time they were alone together. Pulling his mind away from how her body felt underneath his touch required herculean effort every time he thought about her for a bit longer than he should.
Willa overpowered him, day and night, in the most wholly encompassing way.
He needed the space to collect his thoughts—thoughts he shouldn’t have in the first place, thoughts that shouldn’t have crossed his mind as her best friend, and nothing more.
Fuck.
He never wanted to let go when she hugged him. He wanted nights like today to end with her coming home with him. He wanted to press his lipsto the three little moles on her collarbone, rake his tongue up her neck, and kiss her pretty mouth all night. He wanted to kiss her in places no one else ever had, hear the sounds she’d make, and love her so reverently she would know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she could trust him.
She was safe with him. She’d always be.
He shook his head, almost violently, as though that’d somehow drive his desires away.
Another heavy exhale.
