Page 96 of A Certain Step
The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Willa, and he did so inadvertently. Ethan got out from underneath the covers and went to the bathroom. He splashed his face with cold water twice, then brushed his teeth, gazing at her toothbrush beside his, trying to hold on to the familiarity, hoping it wouldn’t end. She’d been right about the fans; he knew she had, but he genuinely didn’t think it would’ve been this cruel. He had stopped reading comments ages ago. People had generally been respectful and cool during Sam’s Instagram lives; he’d forgotten that there was a whole other side to the internet that existed to spread hate.
He also didn’t think they would’ve been caught. He was blissfully hopeful it would’ve happened on their own terms, comments disabled maybe.
“Betty is calling you,” she exclaimed from his room. He rinsed his mouth and walked over, picking it up.
“Hey, Betty.”
His manager exhaled a compassionate sigh. “Hi, you. I’m checking in.”
“You saw, right?” he asked.
“Mhmm, I’m so sorry that happened to you two. How is Willa?”
He answered honestly. “Not good.”
“I’m sorry, E. I really am. How do you want to proceed with this?”
He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know. I’m pissed. I want to say something, but do you think that’s smart?”
“In this day and age, it could work if you’re up for it. I’m blanking on who it was, but another actor also had to do this recently. Write a statement, shoot it over to me, and I’ll look at it, then turn off your comments when you post.You could also not say anything at all. Do you. Your personal life is no one’s business. This isn’t a scandal and doesn’t need to be. Discuss it with Willa and listen to your gut. I trust you’ll handle it well, no matter what you decide to do.”
He nodded, considering her words. “Yeah, I’ll talk it over with Willa.”
“That works for me. Call if you need anything.” Ethan had been with Betty since he started his career. She looked out for him like a second mother, and knowing she genuinely cared made trials like this easier to endure.
He looked at Willa. She was on her phone again.
“Please stop reading. It’s a mess out there. None of it is true.”
She shrugged. “I might not be a gold digger, sure, but one person had a point about my voice having an annoying pitch. Oh, and there’s a really lovely comment that said I must be asking for attention because, and I quote, ‘Does she own anything other than crop tops?’ Jokes on them because I do.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose and then pushed his glasses up. “Wills, please look at me.”
She did. Her eyes were swollen, red, and trickling with heartache. “Your voice doesn’t have an annoying pitch. Let’s get that out of the way first. You know that people will come up with anything to make themselves feel better, right?” he asked.
“I know that logically, but it doesn’t help at this second.”
Sighing, he reached for her hand, but Tulip mistook it as a sign to play, so she swatted him. He pulled his hand away, noting that this wouldn’t work.
“Willa, all of this is going to go away someday. You said it yourself. Our contracts will end, we’ll get different jobs, and we might even have to spend time apart in different places. But the way that I love you will be the one constant. I’d sacrifice everything to be with you. I’d choose you over any role because I’m certain that even with all the praise in the world and standing ovations every night, nothing compares to how I feel when you smile at me. Or when I hear that perfect laugh of yours. You said it yourself, and I’m right there with you. I could lose all of it, and I’d be fine, but I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I’d rather be remembered for the way that I love you than my job. None of it matters without you beside me.”
She was in tears again. “I’m sorry for ruining this. I’ll get through it eventually, Ethan, but it’s hard not to actualize their words in my head right now. And you’re worth all of it. I don’t regret a single second from last night. I’d do it over again even if I knew this would be the outcome. I just need time to come to terms with this new normal.”
He reached forward and gently wiped the tears from her eyes. He brushed wisps of hair from her forehead, tugging them behind her ear, catching Tulip’s gaze from beneath. “Take all the time you need, beautiful. You didn’t ruin anything—none of this was on you. If anything, it’s on me. Just please don’t push me away. Let me be here for you.”
“It’s not on either of us. It’s on the people who have no sense of boundaries when it comes to photographing others.”
Willa rolled out of bed. This time, Tulip followed, assuming she was going to feed her. Willa looked down and shrugged affectionately. “I was going to stretch, but sure, little orange slice, let’s get you fed.” She turned to Ethan. “Did you order new cans of wet food? You were down to one yesterday.”
“Yeah, I haven’t unboxed it, though. It should be by the front door,” he answered.
She nodded, then reached for his T-shirt sitting atop a chair and threw it over her emerald ensemble. The two of them ambled out, with Tulip running ahead of Willa like breakfast was an Olympic sport she was determined to win.
He thought of the kind of statement he could make and what it would entail while he stood up and fluffed the pillows to make his bed. Except looking at his bed trailed his mind to the memories of her intoxicating sounds of pleasure. The way her body moved underneath his, the way she came undone, her gorgeous face flushed with shades of pink. How the flecks of gold around her eyes shimmered.
How unhappy did people have to be to pass judgments as they did when she was the most beautiful rarity he’d ever known? He fell for her honesty, her kindness, her unceasing warmth, and he hated that people couldn’t see that.
My cat loves her. That’s the only approval I need.
