Page 24 of A Certain Step
He’d always try a little harder for Willa. Stay firmly anchored if she needed someone’s arms to fall into. He’d lift her higher if she wanted to leap toward the skies.
The memories pushed him over the edge every time.
She had been so patient with him, so at ease and open in how she taught him every routine. He remembered the way she glowed when they finally nailed the entire thing in one go.
On the nights when he craved her touch, he thought of that day.
He remembered the teal legging set she’d worn. The cut-off pattern in the back of her sports bra, her bare skin between the fabric; the grueling humidity that was made a thousand times more bearable because of how the two of them moved.
Ethan had memorized all the ways she looked at him that day. He cherished the healing narrative that unfolded through the choreography she created. He savored the way she giggled every time they messed up and how she trusted him fully. The way she lay across the floor where he joined her side by side, their exhales hard and heavy until they stabilized into something more measured.
She was back with other dance partners after that, Miles mostly. Sometimes Christian. And Ethan understood that entirely. The two of them only shared small numbers here and there, moments of her helping him with his form forMidnights at Pemberleythat ended too quickly.
Nothing had been like that day. Slow. Rewarding. Emotional.
No amount of time spent with her felt like it was enough.
He’d never felt that way performing before. No matter how engrossed he’d been in a role, no matter how closely he knew his character or his scene partner, he could leave it all behind once the ghost light turned on or when the director called cut. The emotions neverfollowed him home. But with Willa, every move was different—every gaze from her felt like discovering constellations for the first time.
God, how he wished again that she could go on as Elizabeth. One time only. A single show, though he knew that would inevitably make him greedier, drive him to want more of her.
What if he told her? Right here at this moment while she stood in front of him with her mind worlds away, creating something magnetic?
What would happen if he blurted that he’d metaphorically been transported back to the past, where memories of them dancing left him breathless and wanting?
What if he told her he went back to that place often?
What if he told her that he thought about her constantly, on and off the stage?
Willa felt like coming home after a long day of pretending, falling onto the couch, and knowing he didn’t have to try as hard. He didn’t have to force a smile if he was too tired to. He could just be Ethan, content and happy. He could be hers and no one else’s.
She stopped the music and looked up at him, forcing him out of the memories and immersing him back into the present. “I should head out. I can’t believe previews start tomorrow.”
He wanted to ask her to stay, but he knew that’d be a step too far. Still, he wished for it desperately, with everything in him.
“I’ll take the subway back with you, so you’re not alone. My car chose the worst time to require servicing,” he said.
She shook her head. “No, it’s late. You need to rest. We both do. I’ll just order a ride.”
He and Willastood outside his apartment, waiting for her Lyft to pull over. When she looked at her phone and noticed that the driver was fast approaching, she turned and wrapped her arms around him. “If I have nightmares about this fictional death, I’m waking you up and forcing you to suffer with me.”
He laughed into her velvety hair and faintly pressed his lips against her temple.Could she tell? If she did, she didn’t say anything.“And I’ll answer the phone with only a few complaints.”
Willa peered up at him, her arms still circled around his waist. “There better be zero complaints. You’re the one who suggested it.Now you pay the price.”
“Okay, no complaints. Call me whenever.” He secretly ached for that, too. He’d maybe grumble for a millisecond, but his tired mind would link itself with his heart and realize that it was Willa—every part of him could stay awake for her and do anything she wanted.
Releasing his arms from her, Ethan opened the car door and ensured the driver saw him. “I know I have your location, but text me the second you get home,” he said.
He didn’t actually know her location, but it was something he figured he should say to guarantee her safety.
“You got it,” she replied.
That sentiment wasn’t a lie, though. He wouldn’t be able to sleep peacefully if he didn’t know she got home safe from leaving his house, so he’d wait for her text. He walked back up to his apartment and plopped himself onto the couch. Tulip jumped forward from behind the couch and straight into his lap. “Thanks for giving us the privacy, Tulip. You’re a real champ for that.”
She gave him a death glare.
“Are you mad that Willa left or that we made you hide?” he asked as though she’d answer.
