Page 91 of The Runaway and the Rugged
“Big deal. If you regret it, then fine, but don’t treat me like I’m some stranger who you can barely tolerate being around. Being embarrassed, or realizing it was a mistake, doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. Because I do, and because of you, my feelings are severely wounded and still healing from before.”
He didn’t say anything yet, he just looked at me like he desperately wanted to say something.
“We can go back to how things were, where you teased and protected me. We can forget about what happened if that's what you want, I just don’t want you to be the bad guy, Garth. There’s already enough of those and I truly don’t want you to be one of them.”
Again, he just watched me.
Was it my nerves that made it impossible to read him or was he honestly being this way on purpose?
“You can say something, you know,” I mumbled, waiting for the moment he opened his mouth, but with a deep, steadying breath, his eyes dropped to the ground.
My heart sank even deeper than where it was.
“Fine.” I stood tall, laying a palm on the edge of the door. “If you don’t want to talk about it now, that’s fine.”
Don’t cry, Emelia.
Don’t you dare cry.
Sucking in a breath, careful not to let him see me cry, I glanced at him one last painful time. “Have a good night, see you at work Monday."
And with that, I slammed the door in his face, the echo of the loud bang lingering in the silence that followed. I leaned my back against it, heart pounding, eyes filling with tears. I hoped tomorrow would be a new day, a new beginning, because I sure wasn’t falling apart over another man.
Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Falling asleep proved to be difficult when all I could think about was what had just happened with Garth. I tossed and turned, tempted to hop out of bed and go to his house to confront him one last time, but all that dwindled the second I heard a string of pounding on my door.
Who the hell could that be at this hour?
Slowly and cautiously, I rolled out of bed, turned the lamp on beside me, and started to walk toward the door.
“Emelia, it’s me.” Garth's strained, desperate voice appeared from the other side of the door. A part of me thought I was just dreaming, but as the steady, urgent pounding on the door persisted, I realized this wasn’t a dream.
This was real.
“Please, Emelia, I’m fuckin’ beggin’ you, just open the door so we can talk for a second.”
Begging?
My heart went into overdrive at the idea of Garth begging. Instead of opening the door, I let him sweat, and to make it even better, I made sure he heard that I was just beyond the door waiting.
“Fuck, baby, please. I know you’re right there, I can hear you walkin’ around.”
Did he… Did he just call me baby?
“At least—at least tap on the door so I know you’re listen’. So I know I haven’t fuckin’ lost you yet.” His hopeless tone was nearly enough for me to open the door, but I knew I wasn’t ready yet, so I gently rapped my knuckles against the door.
I heard him breathe out a long, relieved sigh.
“I don’t deserve anything you want to give me, Outlaw. I’m a no-good-with-words, protective, possessive asshole who is beyond fuckin’ terrified to admit that he wants you,” he said, dropping his forehead onto the door with a thud. “You’re the first woman who has made me question everything and I’ve been strugglin’ with accepting that the feelin’ ain’t goin’ away whether I ignore you or push you away. It’s there, and it’s only growin’ more fierce by the day.”
“Garth…” My hand reached for the door, but he swiftly interjected.
“Hold on, don’t open the door yet. Let me—let me finish what I have to say, baby.”
My fingers slipped from the doorknob and I reluctantly let him continue.
“I know you just got out of a relationship with a man who didn’t deserve you. And I get that you’re trying to focus on yourself and, damn, I respect that more than you know. So much that I pushed you away because I want you to be the woman you’re meant to be, even if I have to wait. But the truth is, I’m terrible at bein’ patient, Outlaw.”
