Page 23 of The Runaway and the Rugged
“You’re not sure,” he repeated.
“You don’t have to repeat what I say. I know what I said,” I grumbled, knowing if he did it again, I’d lose it.
“Look,” he sighed heavily before dragging a hand through his perspiring hair, “all I’m tryin’ to do is help you here. If you don’t want to go back to all your friends and family, we won't. But I need you to tell me in words what you want.”
Tell me in words what you want.
Nathaniel never asked what I wanted, instead he always just assumed or either didn’t care. It was a pattern that became so ingrained into my everyday life that I had just willingly accepted it as normal.
And now, hearing someone say exactly what my fiancé never bothered to ask made me feel so much more confident in my decision.
“Where else can I go? All of my things are still there, and Clarke…”
Shit.
I’m sure she was going crazy with worry more than anyone else.
“We’ll figure it out,” he stated matter-of-factly.
Gruff.
The confession ran much deeper than Garth realized. I had nowhere to go, even after leaving the ranch. I had nowhere to stay, no money, no resources, I would be starting all over again.
And the realization hit me like a sack of bricks.
Was I being too impulsive?
“Oh god…” My stomach twisted in the most nauseating way. The blisters on my feet choosing this exact moment to start throbbing as a flood of uncertainty began to wash over me. “What am I doing?” I panicked, my hands seeking comfort into the disheveled curls on the top of my head.
Garth immediately released my arm, all the while watching me succumb to a mental breakdown.
“I don’t know, what are you doing?” He eyed me like he had no idea what was happening. His dark brows were tightly pressed together, likely trying to figure out why just only a few moments ago I appeared calm.
“I don’t have a job,” I blurted, immediately wishing I could take it back. “I have no place to stay, no car, no money, nothing… I can’t even remember the last time I had to worry about being able to afford groceries.”
I put my situation into perspective, trying to give Garth a little insight as to why I was freaking out. It wasn’t as if I had something to fall back on. I had nothing and no one.
“You’ll figure it out.”
My heart flipped, causing a sarcastic laugh to slip free.
“You don’t know that.”
How could he? Look at the predicament I had gotten myself in.
“You don’t seem like the type of woman who’ll let herself fail.” His words acted like a cool balm, covering every square inch of any doubts and worries that were directly tormenting me.
He couldn’t possibly know that. He didn’t know me. If anything, he was witnessing a side of me that even I was unfamiliar with.
Bottom lip wobbling, I was teetering on the edge of falling apart again.
“How could you possibly know that, Garth?” I tested out his name with a hint of hostility, sparking his eyes to ignite. “For all you know, that’s all I am. One big, giant failure.”
He didn’t look amused. If anything, his face went back to the blank scowl he originally held when he found me.
Lips tight and stare weighing me down.
“Is that what you are, Outlaw? A failure?” he questioned harshly. Then taking a strong step forward, he invaded my personal space, giving me only inches to breathe.
