Page 31 of Dear Santa, Send Me a Cowboy
What the hell could he be doing anyway? Did he finally realize how much of a mistake this was and leave?
Fuck, I hoped not.
Taking one last lingering look at myself in the mirror, I ran a quick hand through my hair before exiting the bathroom and heading back into the living room. My heart felt as though it was about to fall out of my chest with every anxious, unsteady step I took. Holding my breath, I listened for any signs of him as I trailed my way down the hallway, but all that greeted me was silence.
Now preparing myself for the worst, I finally turned the corner and what I saw had my chest inflating with elation.
Pure relief, but also a hint of annoyance.
With his back to me, he was standing in front of my tree that was now in its stand and looking fluffier that it had hours ago.
What the hell was he doing?
I couldn't find it in myself to announce my presence yet and instead, I watched him move around my Christmas tree as if it were his own. With a string of uncoiled lights in one hand and the other navigating them through the branches, he expertly circled himself around the tree, starting from the top and going to the bottom. Everything about him looked so at ease as he once again took it upon himself to “help me out.” His hat gone, lying somewhere on the couch, and his cowboy boots abandoned by the door, he made himself at home.
And if it weren’t for the way my neck had been set ablaze by the sight, I would have lied and said it didn’t affect me one bit, even though it did. He looked like he belonged here, filling this space with his undeniable charm and large, warming presence.
It made my heart skip a beat.
And when I watched him plug in the cord for the lights, illuminating the prettiest tree I’d ever seen with twinkling white lights, I couldn’t stop myself from going to him. As I approached, he had peered over his shoulder, and immediately his gaze softened as it landed on me.
“There you are.” He extended his hand out, and as if it were a practiced ritual for us, I readily placed my hand in his. “Was worried about you, but figured you needed a moment to yourself.”
He knew me all too well already.
As I was tugged into his side and enveloped in the warmth that his body radiated, I was unable to stop myself from snuggling in close. It felt purely instinctual to do so.
“Why didn’t you come check on me?” My voice wobbled on impact, causing his arm to tighten around my waist.
God, why did I sound so vulnerable?
“That make you upset that I didn’t, darlin’?” I could feel the weight of his gaze on me, studying my expression as I tried my hardest to hold in my disappointment that he hadn’t.
“It would have been nice, but I see why you didn’t now.” I gestured toward the tree. “It looks beautiful.”
I assumed he would catch onto my discomfort and switch the topic but naturally he didn’t. Instead he gripped my chin and tilted my head in the direction of his intense gaze.
“The only reason why I didn’t was because I knew you needed space to think about everything without my presence clouding your thoughts. I want you to want this. I want you to choose me because it’s truly what you want—without me influencing your decision.” His eyes swept over my face throughout his entire speech, then caressing his thumb over my bottom lip, he continued on. “If I would’ve followed you into your bedroom, Diana, I would’ve fucked you. I would’ve seen your bed and imagined another man having the chance of climbing into it. Then because I’m a jealous motherfucker, I would’ve said fuck giving you space and put you on all fours. That’s how fuckin’ crazy you make me. That’s another reason why I didn’t check on you.”
Oh my god.
My eyes now at half-mast with liquid fire building in my core. I nearly blurt out my frustrations that he had chosen to be a man of his word. Instead he had left me in a state of utter confusion rather than once again taking charge of the situation.
Damn him.
“You’re lookin’ at me like I made the wrong choice of givin’ you space, darlin’.” His eyebrow lifted while his eyes grew hungrier and hungrier with each passing second.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried a series of breathing techniques and shifted my legs in place to get rid of the need pulsing inside me.
How could I be so turned on again already? And why was he staring at me like he wanted to turn back time?
“I’m not. You… you made the right choice by giving me space. I’m just surprised you admitted to that.”
“Admitted to wanting to fuck you? Thought I made that perfectly clear already.” He winked teasingly before releasing my chin. “I’m a straightforward man, Diana. I’ll tell you how it is, what I want, what I need, and that’s how it will always be with me.”
I admired that. Maybe not at first, but finding a man that had those qualities was a dime a dozen.
“And will it always be this “fun” with you?”
