Page 30 of Dear Santa, Send Me a Cowboy
On one final solid plunge, his body ascended into stillness. Thighs tensing, his grip on my head faltering, he had finally let go a deep, ragged groan that sent his salty release filling my mouth in sharp spurts.
“Diana!” he thundered my name with shock and disbelief coating his words. “Fucking take it all. Drink from me.”
I made sure to swallow every last drop despite my sore mouth and a tiredness that settled over me. He tasted too damn good to let any go to waste.
Seconds later, his body seemed to relax and once I was sure he had no more left to give, I removed my mouth from him. Saliva mixed in with red frosting was dripping off my chin, and before I could wipe it off, I was grabbed at the side of my face.
“Look at you, my messy fuckin’ girl.” Lawson’s clear eyes took in my current state of disarray. My hair presumably knotted, my eyes blurry and red, while my mouth dribbled a mixture of fluids—in other words, I was a hot mess.
But he didn’t seem to care. Not in the least as he watched me with fascination and amazement filling his expression.
Before I could utter a single word, I was pulled in by his gentle hold on my face and brought down onto his awaiting mouth. I wanted to protest, but the second his tongue connected with mine, I no longer felt the need to stop this.
Greedily and without a care in the world, he lapped at my mouth like it was the greatest meal he’d ever had. Unconcerned about the fact he had just moments before filled my mouth with his cum and I couldn’t have been more turned on.
He devoured me whole. Lips dueling, tongues tangling, and cleaning off the mess on my chin, I let myself fall deeper into his web.
And for the first time tonight, the wild pounding of my heart wasn’t because I was desperate for this grumpy cowboy to leave, but instead, it beat for him to stay.
I just hoped it didn’t bite me in the ass.
Chapter Ten
DIANA
We made out like teenagers.
Hours could have passed and we wouldn’t have known it, but when we had finally pulled apart, an uncertainty for what happened now had settled over us. It couldn’t be stopped either due to my shitty track record for being hesitant in the short few hours we’d been together.
I was wishy-washy, stubborn, scared—but only to protect my heart and the life I had carefully built for myself and Silvan. And the idea of Lawson becoming a part of that frightened me as much as it did excite me.
After leaping off his lap, and retrieving a rag from the kitchen so he could clean himself up, I pathetically gave him the excuse that I needed to pee and ran off to my room to reevaluate the night.
It was undeniable that I was forming feelings for him. What woman wouldn't in my position? But the lines were now clearly blurred and it felt beyond foolish on my part to be envisioning a life with essentially a stranger. Still, despite my uncertainty,he felt like he was mine from the moment he called me a shitty driver.
Instead of walking away from me, like so many others had, he relished the challenge of handling my sass and not once had he faltered in the process. If anything, I’d say he successfully managed to render me speechless for the first time in my life. From spanking me into submission, to giving me the most intense orgasm of my life using only his belt buckle, and it was clear that what had unfolded tonight was far more significant than anything else I’d experienced.
Would it be so bad to admit to him that I wanted more? That I wanted to see where this went even if I was terrified I’d end up with a broken heart?
Though it may seem like I had it all together on the outside, the inside was still a work in progress. And tonight, with Lawson showing up onto my doorstep, it gave me a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d be the Christmas miracle I needed to finally feel complete.
And as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror with my hands clamped onto the lip of the sink, I stared unblinkingly at my reflection. Looking at every one of my imperfections, a task I often found myself doing when I felt unsure.
The longer I stared, the longer I found myself questioning my worth, wondering whether I was good or deserving enough. Whether I wanted to subject my son to another relationship that was bound to fail like all the rest.
But, it shouldn’t matter anyway whether a man wanted to be a part of life and my son’s. If they couldn’t see how much love we had to give and how perfect our little life we created was, then they simply weren’t meant to be a part of it.
Yeah, I was a bossy, stubborn woman who liked things a certain way and drank a little too much wine on Saturday nights… And yeah, Silvan could be a handful with his selectivehearing and every now and then forgot to flush the toilet, but that's us.
That’s who we are, perfectly imperfect and for so long, I prayed for someone to see the beauty in that.
I’d been gone now for at least twenty minutes, most of my time spent contemplating what to do next. It wasn’t like there was much more for us to do anyway considering we had done more in one night with each other than I’d done in my entire life. But as I thought about it more, the shock of him not once attempting to check in on me unsettled my gut more than it should have.
He wasn’t my boyfriend.
He wasn’t my anything.
Yet, I felt offended in a way, especially after everything he declared and everything we had done. He hadn’t called out my name, knocked on my door, or asked if I was okay—hell, I hadn’t even heard a single footstep or sound come from where I left him.
