Page 2 of Dear Santa, Send Me a Cowboy
“Put it down and look at me before I throw it in the blender,” I growled while crossing my arms and summoning the best “I’m not fucking around” glare I could. Though at a whopping five-three, and thick glasses that covered my face, I couldn’t have been more intimidating than an ankle-biting dog. Thankfully,my son wasn’t a complete asshole and reluctantly lifted his eyes until they collided with mine.
“Thank you,” I mumbled, already feeling overwhelmed with the number of things I needed to get done before we left. “Now, can you please tell me why all the clothes I packed for you are now sitting on the kitchen table?” I nodded toward the pile of now unfolded clothes and the miscellaneous items that I had stowed away in his bag earlier.
Instead of answering, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. My jaw ticked, but I remained calm.
“Silvan…”
“I already told you I don’t want to see him,” he grunted while his lip curled in annoyance. I almost smiled as I was thrown back into a memory of a pouting four-year-old boy who, to this day, still made the same face when he was upset. “And I sure as crap don’t want to stay with him for five whole days.”
My heart splintered at his confession. Although I would much rather he spend this time with me, Jaxon was only given a couple weeks out of the year to spend with him and unfortunately, one of those visits was during the holidays.
Silvan averted his eyes as the vein in my forehead throbbed. Every visit was a battle, but it only seemed to be worsening.
“It’s just a couple days, Sil.” My tone softened as I closed the distance between us and pulled him in for a hug. “It’ll be over before you know it and… I know he’s been looking forward to spending some time with you.”
Jaxon hadn’t explicitly stated it, but deep down I hoped it were true.
“It’s the same every time. He says one thing, and does the exact opposite,” he grumbled into my chest as my heart cracked with each word. “He’s all about himself… He could care less about me.”
“Hey…” I reached for his cheek and forced his eyes on mine. “He cares about you, Silvan. He just… He just has a shitty way of showing it.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“At least try to give him a chance, okay? For me?” I begged with a subtle pout on my mouth that had Silvan averting his eyes immediately.
He hated seeing me sad.
“Even though he isn’t my favorite person, I want the two of you to have a relationship. I want you to have your father, so please, just… do this for me.”
I could sense the reluctance in his gaze. The annoyance, the uncertainty, but with a defeated sigh, he dropped his shoulders.
“Fine! Okay, I’ll go, but I won’t like it.”
I smiled.
“At all.”
Pulling into the snow-dusted driveway, I could already sense Silvan’s withdrawal. Quiet as a mouse and his restless feet bouncing against the floorboard, they were both clear signs he was less than thrilled to be here.
With it being only his fourth time staying here, I immediately noticed the struggle in his eyes as he grappled with the unfamiliar environment. Jaxon’s home was a modest two-story build that bore a faint resemblance to mine, but no matter how similar they appeared to each other, it just wasn’t the same to Silvan.
“You ready, baby?” I asked once I shoved the car into park and glanced over at him.
“No,” he grumbled.
Sighing, I reached for his hand but he quickly pulled away and shoved open the door.
Shit.
Pulling on the door handle, I stepped outside in hopes of stopping him, but he was already climbing the steps of the front porch.
“Silvan!” I shouted after him as I trudged carefully across the icy patched driveway. Once I had caught up to him, Jaxon was already there waiting with the door open and a wide smile spread across his face.
“Silvan, you can’t just walk away from me like that,” I demanded, completely ignoring the fact his father was there watching our interaction.
“What's going on?” Jaxon asked as he glanced back and forth between the two of us. Clearly he enjoyed seeing Silvan pissed off at someone else rather than him.
Bastard.
