Page 157 of Aftersome
Shaking his head on a scoff, his eyes had shot open.
“You hurt me by lying! That pain, the pain I fuckin’ feel now is nothing compared to what I would have felt if you would have told me from the very beginning.” He pounded his fist against his chest.
A whimper had fallen past my lips as his chest heaved with emotion.
“Why?” His eyes were clouded in torment as his head slightly dropped on a subtle shake. “Why couldn’t you have just told me, Wren? Maybe none of this…” He paused and shifted around in his chair before dragging a hand roughly through his messy hair. “If I would have fucking known, maybe none of this would have happened. You being in that bed right now.”
He swung his free hand over in my direction.
“It was all my fault, Mal. Me being here. Even if I would have told you about my condition, I wouldn’t have had the strength to tell you about the real reason why I was here.”
He looked torn, angry, confused, and I hated that I was the cause of it. Part of me was dying to ask if he would hold me, or at least tell me that everything would be okay, but I knew I couldn’t.
Not with everything I had done.
“So what does this mean then? For you? For me?”
For us,I could tell he wanted to add, but didn’t.
“I…” I began to say, but became startled by harsh lines through his face. Clenched jaw, eyes dark, he looked beyond devastated. “I don’t know.”
He then laughed.
Darkly.
“You never thought to tell me that I’d be losing another person I loved? You never thought I should know that?” he seethed, causing a rush of tears to flood my face.
“You didn’t know that you loved me until recently, Mal.”
“Does it really fucking matter? You’ve been the only goddamn woman on my mind since the moment I’ve met you, doesn’t that count for something?” he roared. “Doesn’t it?”
Heavy sobs began to take over as I knew I was only making things worse now.
“And what would you have said if I had told you about my heart? You wouldn’t want to be with me. You wouldn’t…” My throat tightened as I used the back of my palm to wipe away the layer of tears on my face. “Like you said, you don’t want to lose another person you love, so there’s no way if I would’ve told you that you would…”
“Love you? Want to be with you?” He pushed off the chair and rose to a standing position. “Of course I don’t want to lose another person I love, but fuck, Wren. How could you possibly think that there would ever be a chance that I’d ever not fucking love you because of your condition? You trusted Hayes enough to tell him, so why not me?”
His eyes peered down at me with a desperation I had never seen before.
So broken, so shattered, he appeared ready to fall down onto his knees in heartbreak.
Stretching my hand out toward him, I let out a sob.
“Why couldn’t you just trust me? Why did you lie about everything?” He turned his back away from me and I swear I had felt my heart splinter from his rejection.
“Why did you do this? Why?”
His words sliced its way through the remaining pieces of my heart, leaving me in a mess of tears and pain.
“I’m so sorry, Mal. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you.”
His back went taut, causing every muscle to ripple beneath his shirt.
“But you did,” his heartbroken voice whispered over my whimpers. “You broke my fucking heart, Doe. And now I have no goddamn clue on what to do.”
Before I knew it, my vision was darkened by tears.
My heart rate was skyrocketing while everything else inside began to plummet.
