Page 71 of Aftersome
“A woman.”
Someone like you.
“Oh, yeah.” Her cheeks went red and my smile grew even more.
How the fuck was she doing this? Making me smile? Making me feel? I felt out of control of my own body and she had taken the reins.
“Well, there are plenty of prospects out there for you. According to the comments on the Orchids’ TikTok page, you’re very popular with the women.”
I didn’t give a shit about other women or what they were saying about me on social media. I didn’t want them.
Instead of answering, I just shook my head.
“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t know that every woman out there wants you? Trust me, I see it firsthand at your games.”
“Oh yeah? And what do you see?”
I’m amused now and somehow, the shift to this topic has stopped her crying. Though I wanted nothing to do with this conversation about other women, I’d do anything to stop her from crying even more.
“Well, there are the signs they hold up. ‘Marry me, Malachi’, or my favorite one is, ‘Malachi, can I hold your stick?’” She chuckled, causing me to shake my head with a grin.
“Those are the types of women we tend to stay fucking far away from.”
“Easy targets for a baby mama, though.”
I wanted to cringe. That’s the last thing I wanted or needed.
“And what about you, Doe? Do you see kids in your future?”
The second the words came out of my mouth, I wished I could have taken them back. I waited for her reaction, or even a change in her manner, but it never happened. Instead her smile had gone somber.
“I never thought about it until recently. Hayes…” Her voice cracked and it nearly killed me.
The mention of his name and the pain that was laced with it.
“Hayes and I never had the chance to talk about kids. I think… I think maybe he would have wanted them.”
I couldn’t speak, so I just listened.
“He would have been a good dad. I think he would have loved it.”
“He would have.” I nodded and forced my eyes away from hers. It felt wrong looking at her when she was in such a vulnerable state. Talking about Hayes and babies.
I felt like I didn’t deserve to hear any of this. Certainly not after the way I’d been treating her.
“I think I could have loved it too.”
Could have.
For a man who had trouble with his emotions, my heart had splintered from her pain. Of course she would have had a family with Hayes. And of course she would have loved it. That was Hayes’s girl.
His.
Even after all this time, she would always be his.
My throat hardened. It was a constant cycle of right or wrong. Wanting Doe and knowing that she would never be mine. Everything was a reminder of why I needed to let her go.
But I knew damn well I couldn’t.
