Page 68 of Aftersome
For Hayes’s sake.
For your sake too.
I chased after her through the house until she made it out onto the front lawn. I feared that she’d make it to her car and try to escape, but instead, she made a sudden stop in the grass. Only a few feet behind her, I came to a halt.
“Doe…” I called out, but she didn’t acknowledge me.
With her back to me, I watched as her shoulders dipped up and down, until she dropped her whole body onto the ground, where she cradled her knees against her chest.
Fuck.
I knew this would happen.
Before, I wouldn’t have hesitated to put my arm around her, but now, I wasn’t so sure what to do. The status of our relationship—friends? Enemies?—it was all still up in the air and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her even more than Ialready had. I hadn’t touched a woman in years, let alone try to comfort one.
Tugging on the collar of my shirt, I mentally scolded myself for wearing this stupid-ass outfit. I should have worn what I always wear, but something told me to make an effort today.
An effort for what? I had no fucking idea, but I did it and I hated it.
I slowly began to creep closer to her. One foot in front of the other, I ate up the distance between us. Without any words to say, without any sort of plan, I took the spot next to her on the grass. I put a good amount of space between us, enough to give her room to breathe.
I couldn’t look at her just yet because I knew if I did, I’d resort back to the old Mal who’d do anything to not see her cry. So as I peered off into the distance, I mentally prepared myself for what I was about to witness.
In and out, Doe and I took breaths that had soon fallen in sync. Hers softer, mine heavier, they soon became one.
She knew I was next to her, and just like when we were standing side by side only minutes before, she still kept her lips tightly shut. Either pretending I didn’t exist or trying her best to ignore me.
This was what I wanted, right? Have her hate me. Ignore me. Find me as a miserable, undeserving human being, then maybe she might actually leave.
I thought it was what I wanted. In a way I still did, to save her from all my bullshit and the suffering that came along with it. She didn’t deserve that.
No one does.
For a long time we just sat here. I could still hear the sniffles and the faint sound of her sleeve being wiped across her cheeks. I was fucking clueless, though. So out of my realm, I contemplated getting up and leaving. Nothing that I would saywould make a difference anyway, but there was no one else I’d want her with right now besides me.
I could feel her pain. I could understand the depth of it and even after all this time, it still hurt the same. If I could take it all away from her, I would in a heartbeat. But I wasn’t even remotely close to being that person that could help her. Despite whether I wanted to be or not.
A woman like her could never lean on a man like me.
“You don’t have to sit here, you know,” Wren announced with a tired voice that had my body going rigid. “I don’t know why you followed me or why you’re even here.”
She may have been sad, but she still kept her sass.
“I know I don’t have to. And I’m here because my teammate invited me. Is that good enough of an answer for you?”
I glanced over at her and once again was blindsided by her beauty. Purple, blue, green, she’d make any color on her head look stunning, but the pink… I couldn’t look away from her. Even with her swollen eyes and puffy mouth, she stole the air right from my lungs.
“Not really no,” she grumbled. “I have a hard time believing that anyone would have invited you.”
My mouth twitched.
“Don’t you have better things to do than to make me miserable and spoil what is supposed to be a happy day for everyone?”
I didn’t expect her words to hit me like a punch to the gut, but they did. Was that how she saw me? Was that why she was upset and ran off, because I was spoiling this day for her?
I didn’t want to think that was why, but my gut feeling was telling me otherwise.
“I’m sure I have better things I could be doing.” I grunted. Now suddenly annoyed, I ripped my stare away from the side ofher face and looked ahead. “But I’m here. And I’m glad to know you think so fucking highly of me.”
