Page 67 of Aftersome
Their moment.
My eyes immediately sought out Kate. Her palm cradled her bump as she gnawed profusely on her bottom lip. You could see the anticipation pouring out of her as she watched the hockey puck closely.
My best friend was going to be a mother.
And for a brief second, I pictured myself in her shoes. Standing in front of people who I loved and adored, waiting for the moment we found out the gender of our little baby.
Hayes’s and my baby.
Would he immediately run to me and lift me in his arms like I’ve seen in countless gender reveal videos? Or would he have given me that signature dimpled smile before brushing his mouth against mine?
Knowing Hayes, he would have done it all.
And before I knew it, a painful lump was forming in my throat. Tightening with each teardrop that threatened to fall, I held on the best I could without falling completely apart. I took long, steady breaths. And just when I thought I had managed to keep myself from breaking, James had struck the hockey puck, causing a burst of blue smoke to fill the air.
Cheers rang out all around as the tears I tried so hard to hold back were now falling freely along my cheeks.
A boy.
A precious baby boy.
Kate flew into her husband's arms as they both erupted in shouts of absolute joy. It was beyond beautiful to see and a moment so special, I’d never forget. I was beyond happy for them. For their little family, but my heart couldn’t handle watching this any longer. No matter how overjoyed I was for them, it was a reality I would never get to experience. A baby with Hayes. Growing a family with him, and growing old with him.
I would give anything to have him back.
To see him again, or at least one last time.
As everyone went to congratulate the two of them, my feet remained glued to the ground. At this point, my tears were uncontrollable. I couldn’t stop them even if I wanted to.
I was spiraling.
Not so much on the outside, but on the inside, I felt like I was drowning. As if there were weights tied on my feet and no matter how hard I tried to kick, I was still falling.
It felt like minutes or even hours had passed as the celebrations continued. As I went to take a breath, I felt something brush against my hand. At first, I didn’t react. Not until I felt the warmth of fingers encase my own.
I let out a cry mixed in with a gasp. Though I was desperate to get away from him, I felt compelled to stay. For Kate and James, but soon I realized that people were beginning to notice me.
I felt concerned eyes fall onto me.
Then I heard whispers.
“Is she okay?”
“She looks like she’s going to pass out?”
My breathing turned more ragged, more labored, and before I knew it, I couldn’t handle it any longer.
I ran.
Needing air, needing away, I pushed through the crowd until I no longer felt the suffocation of others around me.
I just hoped Kate wouldn’t hate me for ruining her special day.
25
MAL
Now I remember why I became so fucking crazy when I would see Wren cry. It rattled my brain and heart and all I wanted to do was fix it. I didn’t know how, but I at least had to try.
