Page 107 of Nodus Tollens
“I’m sure she has some hidden away in some box upstairs.” He said, followed by a short chuckle. He then came up behind me and wrapped me in a tight hold while his chin rested on my shoulder.
“Hmm, we might have to exchange one of these photos out then. Did you ever have braces growing up?”
“No, I was born with perfect teeth.” His mouth closed over my shoulder blade as he nibbled a path to my neck.
“Acne?” My skin burned from the soft drag of his teeth over my sweatshirt. Holding in a groan, I tried imagining something other than how his teeth felt and how perfect the pressure was. With his mother and Mal somewhere in the vicinity, I did my best to remain collected.
“Nope.”
Of course. I bet he was perfect from the day he was born. Flawless.
“Bad haircut? Emo phase? Anything?”
Laughter tickled my ear as he snuggled into my neck.
“No, Blue. Not that I can remember, but I’m sure you’ll find something in the box of photos. Mom never went anywhere without her camera.”
Smiling, it reminded me of my mom. She was the exact same.
“Why are you so hard up to see a bad picture of me anyway?” He chuckled even more. “Don’t you want to see the ones in high school where I had my shirt off? Those’ll be way better to look at, Blue.” He whispered into my ear, causing tingles to shoot across my body.
“First of all, I’m not hard up.”
Men…
“Second, I’m sure I’d very much appreciate seeing pics of you shirtless, but I want to see the real you.”
“The real me? Blue, all the pictures would be of me.”
“That’s not what I mean.” I shook my head and let my head fall back into his chest. “I want to see the goofy, happy face you made when you put on your first pair of skates. I want to see a picture of your first school dance and the outfit your mom made you wear. I want a toothless grin, food on your face kind of photo. I want all your moments, even the silly, unpleasant ones.” Against my back, I could feel the way his chest rose and fell. Heavy breaths. Long, weighty exhales that caused his arms around me to tighten.
Though I may have been teasing about it at first, now it had turned into something important. Something significant that wouldn’t matter to most. I wanted everything. I wanted to remember every bit of Hayes’ existence until there was nothing else to learn or capture. That when I off this earth, I’d still be able to carry a part of him with me. I needed my soul to remember him when my body forgot.
“Baby…”
“I need all of them, Hayes. I…I don’t want to forget you.” I could feel my eyes brimming with tears, but I wouldn’t let them fall. I couldn’t.
It was hard not to think of the worst, though. I felt like I have cried more in the time I’ve been with Hayes than I have in my whole life. I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love with someone when you’re dying… You try to live and focus on the present, but every thought and emotion is centered around the future.
“I won’t let you forget me. I promise, Blue. You want my embarrassing, ugly photos? You got them. You want a tour of my school and the places I’d go growing up? I’ll take you. Anything you want, I’ll give it to you.”
The urge to kiss him overpowered me, and before I knew it, I was spinning around in his arms and pressing my mouth to his. He swept me up immediately, wrapping me in his arms while he kissed me back with the same intensity. Longing for more was spoken through our tongues as we tangled them together in urgency. It was a slow, tortuous kiss. One of anguish and so much love that had me melting into the ground.
“Hayes, I need…” The sound of Shelia talking caused our mouths to separate. I pulled away almost too quickly and caught Mal and his Sheila watching us.
“Oh.. I’m sorry.” Shelia gasped with a shocked giggle while Mal held a heavy stare on Hayes. From a distance, his jaw looked tighter and more prominent, but I was too embarrassed to look into it any further. “I’ll just…excuse me.” With heated cheeks, she turned around and disappeared into another room.
“Oh my god…” I quietly groaned as I let my head fall into Hayes’s chest. With my forehead buried in the fabric of his hoodie, I closed my eyes. “That did not just happen.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, Blue, but my mom just caught us kissing.” He laughed, not even a bit embarrassed by it at all. Before I could respond, the sound of rough, overly dramatic steps up the stairway caused my head to lift. My eyes found Mal walking up to the second floor, and although he was a big guy, I knew he couldn’t be that resounding when climbing stairs.
Hayes didn’t seem to notice him and kept his attention focused on me.
“It’s not funny…” I pouted. “Now, how am I supposed to face her after she caught me with your tongue in my mouth.”
Clearly amused, he pulled me back into his embrace and dropped a cluster of kisses all over my face. My nose, eyes, chin. He marked me with his lips everywhere.
“It’s a little funny. Especially seeing those cute, red little cheeks of yours.” He peppered both my cheeks in kisses. Groaning, I pushed him off of me.
