Page 72 of Nodus Tollens
“I don’t either, but we can learn together.”
She laughed.
“You mean we can fail together.” She finally laid her hand in mine as a rush of relief blasted through me. I was grinning like a fool as I pulled her to her feet, but I didn’t care. All I could think of was having her in my arms again.
“It can’t be that hard, right?” I wrapped my arms around her waist just as she draped hers around my neck.
“Yeah, well I have two left feet.” She mumbled. “And you know there’s no music, right?”
We didn’t need music. All I needed was her head on my chest and the sounds of the night to carry us.
“Do we need it? Because I’ve been told I have a wonderful voice.” I teased as she rolled her eyes and tilted her head back to get a better look at me.
God, she was so beautiful.
And the way she looked at me…. It made my heart clench from the intensity of it. To know what she was currently thinking in that head of hers plagued me, but the mystery of it made me want to romance her even more.
“Let’s hear it then, hot shot.” She grinned mischievously while messing with the back of my head with her fingers. Nipping at the side her arm with my teeth, I drew her in closer and started to sway. I didn’t know anything about dancing, but everything about this moment felt right.
“I’ll sing if you lay your head on my chest.”
Her eyes widened a fraction as she took in the seriousness of demand. Her mouth formed an o as she slowly began to sway with me. I couldn’t help but grin from the expressions she was giving me. Then finally after a few seconds, she lowered her head until it was tucked beneath my chin.
Fuck.
Closing my eyes, I tightened my arms around her middle and sunk my nose into the top of her head. I needed a second to savor this moment. The feel of her in my arms. To take in all the scents around us. I wanted to remember it all. Uncontrollable feelings and emotions surged through my body as we rocked back and forth in slow circles. We became lost in the motions. Like nothing else existed than the two of us in the back of my truck.
“You know you don’t have to sing.” She mumbled softly in a tired voice that had me smiling. “I kind of like the quietness.”
“Me too, Blue.” I planted a gentle kiss onto the crown of her head knowing I couldn’t ruin this with my terrible singing.
Time passed as our feet moved in synch with one another. I couldn’t tell you how long we danced for. Minutes, hours, all I knew was that it was one of the best moments of my life that I never wanted to end.
“Thank you, Hayes.” She pulled her head off my chest and looked up. She looked sleepy as a slight redness covered the side of her face that was pressed up against me. “For everything.”
“You’re welcome, Blue.” I smiled. Then rising onto her toes, she captured my mouth with hers. A slow, searing kiss that had me clutching the back of her neck and pouring everything into it.
If this is love and I have a feeling it is, don’t take her away from me. I’ll give up everything to be able to have this forever.
To have her forever.
17
HAYES
Two weeks had passed since mine and Blue’s first date. Since then, I’ve only managed to go twenty-four hours without being around here before I began to feel a massive void in my heart. Hockey practice felt like an eternity, but I always found time to sneak a few texts in just so I wouldn’t feel completely empty. Classes went by slower and slower, but almost every day, we’d find time to meet somewhere private where our kisses became more heated, and our hugs lasted a little longer. And somewhere lingering beneath the surface, a sadness I kept hushed was demanding to break free. Ever since her confession about her heart, we hadn’t spoken more about it. Instead, we pretended as if she had never even said it. Like everything was normal when, in reality, I was scared shitless for the girl who stole my heart. Perhaps, out of fear, I didn’t want to dwell on something so fucking painful and out of my control, but I knew I’d have to bring it up. We would have to talk about it sooner or later, but right now, it was nearly impossible to do so when it made me physically ill just thinking about it.
So, I avoided it entirely, just as I did with my dad. Twice the guilt, twice the fucking pain. I wanted no part in the reality of what could happen. All I wanted was for them to be healthy. All I wanted was for them to live.
That’s why I haven’t stopped leaving gifts at her door. That’s why I text her from morning to dawn, so she knows just how special she is, how cherished she is, and that my kind gestures, hugs, kisses, and laughs weren’t going anywhere. That I was here to stay through whatever hardships may come. The other night I had even made a promise to take her away somewhere magical. Anywhere in the world that she wanted to go, I was going to take her.
Blue: If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
Me: Shit… That’s tough. Ummm… maybe Australia? I’ve always wanted to swim with sharks.
Blue: Remind me to never go to Australia with you.
Me: Oh, come on now, we could do it together, Blue. Just think of the story we could tell our kids
