Page 43 of Nodus Tollens
“Sounds like you’re shit out of luck then, pops.” I began to pull the phone away from my ear, but the sound of his desperation stopped me. I don’t know why I even cared or bothered with him, but it was like he had some pull on me that I couldn’t stop.
“Mal, I deserve your worst. I deserve all your hate, but I need you. I need out of here.”
A scoff had blown past my lips.
“You deserve more than my worst.” I grumbled through the pain. “And why would you need out? Maybe that would be good for you. Maybe then you wouldn’t put yourself into dumb situations where you get arrested and end up calling me to bail your ass out.”
“How can I be a better dad to you when I’m stuck in here?” He acted as if he was choked up from the emotions of it all, but I knew better. His tears meant nothing to me when I knew they were all fake. Even his so-called ‘love’ for me was non-existent.
“So now you want to be a better dad?” I laughed like it was the most comical thing in the world. “You had twenty-two years to be one.”
“And I know I failed.” He sighed. A long moment of silence passed, and all I could hear was his wheezing. “So let me have another chance. Another shot at being the dad I know I can be.”
I knew it was all a lie. Every word spilling out of his mouth was a damn lie, and yet I found myself falling for it. Falling for the hope that he might change. My chest expanded on a heavy exhale.
“I need an answer before my time’s up, son.”
Dammit.
I knew better. I knew fucking better than to trust him, but why was I suddenly contemplating it? I had a game tonight, and I never missed a game. But what if I could change his mind? What if I could get him to come here and find a job in Sutton? Maybe he’d take an interest in hockey, and we could bond over something. I’d finally have someone at my games.
Fuck.
I was so desperate for his approval and love that I responded without a second thought.
“Fine. Fine, I’ll be there, but I swear to God, if you fuck me over again, I’ll have your ass back in jail.” I growled and quickly hung up before I could change my mind.
Heart racing a million beats a second, I dropped my phone onto the counter and dragged both palms through my hair.
Shit.
What the hell did I get myself into?
* * *
Me: Brisket is on the smoker. Sperm donor called, and he needs my help. Talked with Coach, and I won’t be at the game tonight.
Six hours into the drive already, I finally decided to text Hayes. I knew how he would react. I knew he would disapprove of me going, so that’s why I hadn’t called him instead. He hated my dad more than I did, but I didn’t need to hear it from him today. I was already on edge and contemplating turning around. I didn’t need Hayes throwing in more reasons why I was a dumbass for going.
Suddenly, my phone started vibrating. Not a text, but a call vibrating that continued to go off in my lap. Instead of answering, I let it go to voicemail. Seconds passed, and it started vibrating again. Rolling my eyes, I flipped it over and saw Hayes’ name on the screen. Again, it went to voicemail, and soon after, a rapid-fire vibration of texts came through.
Hayes: I know you see me calling.
Hayes: You’re seriously not going to answer me?
Hayes: I’ll let your brisket burn.
Laughing, I texted him back.
Me: I’m not answering because I know what you’ll say. And don’t you dare burn that fucking brisket. That shit was expensive.
Hayes: Oh, you mean like tell you that you’re wasting your time going up there? Or that he will just disappoint you again because he only cares about himself? Come on, Mal, what are you thinking?
My jaw set.
Me: I’m thinkin’ I want a relationship with someone who has the same blood as me running through their veins…
Hayes: Blood doesn’t make ‘em family.
