Page 125 of Nodus Tollens
Desperate to hide under the covers, I groaned and began to pull the blanket up and over my head.
“Please? For me?” He reached for the blanket and stopped me from getting away. I would never make fun of you, Blue.” He said with sincerity laced in his tone as he yanked the blanket down the rest of the way where it was now lying in my lap.
“I know you won’t…” I groaned as I peered away from his intense gaze. I could feel my face getting hotter with each passing second, but the soft, warm touch of Hayes’s palm on my cheek had me tensing. It had my stare snapping to his, and he smiled lovingly into my eyes.
There was nothing but pure warmth staring back at me. A warmth that said, ‘Trust me.’ And I did. I trusted him more than I did any other person out there, and I felt my insecurity slowly begin to crumble under his gaze. It didn’t matter anymore. That’s when I gave him permission. With a light nod, I let my eyes close at the emotions taking over. Every moment with him, I felt vulnerable because I knew I was falling even more and deeper in love. Especially when he slowly brought my blonde strands behind my ear.
Sucking in a heavy breath, I waited. I waited for a laugh, a dumbo joke, anything, but instead, I felt lips. His warm, soft lips grazed the top of my ear. A choked cry got caught in my throat from his gesture, and a tear fell. Then, doing the same on the other side of my head, he kissed my other ear, exposing them both now.
“I love every part of you, Blue. Especially the parts you hate… I want to love on them the most.”
My god, Hayes…. The words that came out of his mouth weren’t from this planet. I mean, they were, but what man ever spoke like that? What man ever said the right things all the time? It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t real. He wasn’t real.
But he is, and he’s all yours.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you that I’m about halfway finished with your book.” He grinned and kissed me on the mouth before hopping off the bed. Going for his bag, he bent over and plunged a hand into a pocket before pulling out the small black book.
“You’re actually reading it?” I asked, astonished as he climbed back into bed next to me. Once I was snuggled back into his side, he propped the book up on his chest and peered at me with intensity in his gaze.
“Of course. I told you I would, didn’t I?”
My throat hardened.
“Yeah, I just didn’t think you actually would.” I confessed. My stomach twisted in guilt, but with the tilt of his mouth, he instantly made me feel better.
“Why not?” He chuckled.
“I didn’t think it would interest you.”
Obviously, I was wrong because when he opened the book and flipped through the pages, right next to my scribbled thoughts were his. My heart soared as a breath I didn’t know I had escaped.
“It does.” He winked. “I actually have a few favorite words.” He went back to flipping through the book. His brows dipped in concentration as he did so. I found it undeniably adorable as he started to mouth each word he passed. Then, when his eyes finally lit up, he used the pen that was closed inside the book to point at the word.
“Waldosia.” He said as my eyes scanned over the black ink written next to the word.
Easy to remember…Where’s Waldo
“I hope it’s okay with you that I wrote in here… I didn’t…”
Smiling at the words he wrote, I swung my stare up to his.
“It’s more than okay, Hayes.”
Before he could respond, I went back to the book. His veiny hand came into view, and with his fingers, he started turning the pages again.
“Liberosis.”
Reminds me of a disease
I laughed. Where I had been writing more serious thoughts, he wrote this. But he still wrote, nonetheless, and I loved it.
He flipped a few more pages and halted his fingers.
“Tiris.”
My eyes roamed over the meaning,“the bittersweet awareness that all things must end.”
I’ve read over it many times but could never find myself to ponder on it. It meant dwelling on the inevitable, and for a long time, I’ve avoided it. The definition didn’t specifically correlate ‘all things must end’ to dying. To anyone else, it could mean the feeling of being on vacation and realizing your time is coming to an end. That was the beauty of the book, though. You could connect your life experiences and perspectives to each word, making it unique and distinctive to the lives we live. Even though my shift on it was more morbid, it was my own.
